As a submissive who has to interact with the outside world whether that’s work, family, or going to the grocery store, you already know that it can be hard to switch back and forth between roles and expectations. Frankly, after a long week of being my vanilla self, I’m exhausted, cranky, and usually feeling not-so-submissive. […]
BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive Read More »
When I talk about my life as a kinkster, I talk about being a parent of two kids. It shocks a lot of people to know I’m in a 24/7 D/s relationship and a parent. A lot of people ask, “How can you be a parent and a submissive?” I always imagine there’s a bit
BDSM and Kids: Can You Be a Parent and a Kinkster? Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because
Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, I am a sub and I have an amazing Master. He is loving, caring, respectful and just everything a sub could ask for. He collared me 6 months ago and we moved in together 2 months ago. We get along great in every area so far. The problem is this, lately, I’ve
Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship Read More »
Hi SG, I’m relatively experienced when it comes to submission. I’ve submitted in play to a number of delightful Dommes and pushed my boundaries nicely over the years. I’ve never had a long term D’s relationship, though. I’m just entering into a relationship with a lady who is highly sexed and thoroughly enjoying the power.
How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, So, I am totally a newbie. I do have a Master but due to our personal/vanilla lives, it is limited & very part-time. My Master has not participated in the lifestyle for 12 years. My question is do you have any info on transitioning from submissive side back to my vanilla? We
Create a Transition: Moving Between D/s and Vanilla Lives Read More »
At the end of May, KnyghtMare’s long-term girlfriend broke up with him suddenly. He said he had no idea it was coming so it hit him really hard. I know that any time someone you love ends the relationship you go through a period of grief and loss and depression, but I’ve never experienced it.
Learning to Help a Partner Through a Poly Breakup Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, Is it normal for your Master to want to play and have sex with others? Sincerely, Curious Dear Curious, I could give you the glib answer and say, “There’s no such thing as normal” but that doesn’t help you much, does it? Do some people, Dominant or submissive, want to have open
My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. There is an almost universal level of acceptance for the ‘idea’ of one man or ‘Dominant’ having many or multiple partners or submissives. Such a Dominant may be considered to have prowess, charisma,
On Multiple Dominants Read More »
A couple years ago, the MR and I decided to renew our wedding vows. We had been through a rocky start to our marriage and had transformed since originally marrying from a vanilla, egalitarian relationship to a kinky, Dominant and submissive one, and finally we had arrived at Master and slave. We felt at home
Our Ceremony of Roses, Vow Renewal, and Re-collaring Read More »
We spend a lot of time in front of a screen these days. We chat, we shop, we explore and we date, all from the comfort of our homes. But, it is my opinion, that dating is something that really should be done face to face. Yeah, I know, I met KnyghtMare online and we
Meeting Someone Face to Face Is an Important Early Step in Online Dating Read More »
Dear SG,Me and my boyfriend have been talking about this. He’s convincing me into it. We haven’t experienced anything yet. I’m new at this, he’s a dominant. But he’s leaving for 9 months deployment and I don’t know how to do this long distance relationship. Sincerely, New to D/s Dear New to D/s, I’m sorry to hear
How Do I Manage a Long Distance D/s Relationship Due to Deployment? Read More »
Dear SG, I’m in love with my Master. That’s natural right? Over a decade with this man. He’s in love with me as well but I’m not so sure that I’m what he needs anymore. His need for his sadistic ways to flourish are being held back by me. Is that fair? That because of his
I’m Worried I’m Not Enough for My Dominant Read More »
The most common search queries on this blog have to do with finding a Dominant partner so I have to assume that a lot of you who read here are single and searching for your Dominant. It’s never easy being single and knowing you want to find a Dominant partner adds to the mix of
The Top 5 Tips for Vetting a Potential Dominant Partner Read More »
Dear LunaKM, I lost my Master to cancer two weeks ago, and I’m not sure how to grieve, He was not only my master he was my best friend. While there are moments of deep sadness I don’t feel I’m grieving enough. Shortly after his passing I had to clean out his home and it
How To Understand The Grief Process for a Dominant Who Passed Away Read More »
Dear lunaKM, So…i am a collared submissive & wear my Ring of Steel collar 24/7, proudly. Problem is: i work in a food service position, where jewelry is prohibited & my supervisor is threatening to take disciplinary action should i wear my collar during my next shift (despite my working while wearing it for nearly 2
Help! I Can’t Wear My Collar at Work Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, My Dom and I are basically in a LDR. We have been together for about 8 months. His job requirements are such that he travels consistently. In our relationship he identified as poly and I have great interest as well. We decided that it would be in our best interest to become
Trying to Make a Poly Relationship Work Read More »
There is plenty of questioning the 24/7 TPE M/s dynamic. Is it healthy? Is it even realistically possible? I wanted to share my thoughts on why it is not only healthy and realistic in real world application, but it creates incredibly happy and successful relationships. So quickly it has become the standard and expectation of
The 100/100 Rule: Why TPE Succeeds Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself. To
Hi Submissive Guide My Dominant and I are trying to get our relationship going in the right direction again. We have been married for 23 years and in an M/s relationship for the past 4 years. In the beginning he read everything and was involved and it was everything I dreamed it would be but
How To Try A D/s Relationship Again When The First Time Flopped Read More »
