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Relationship Dynamics

Whether you’re in a 24/7 D/s relationship or just exploring, this category delves into roles, power exchanges, and the emotional intricacies that make these connections unique.

My Dom disappoints me sometimes….how can I open up to him about it?

Question: My Dom disappoints me sometimes….how can I open up to him about it?  Answer: It can be really hard to confront your Dominant when they’ve disappointed you in some way. As submissives, we can feel that raising concerns about our Dominant’s behavior isn’t allowed or at the very least, isn’t submissive-like. But in all

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Is it appropriate to expect your Dom to tell you if they’ve been intimate with someone else?

Question: Is it appropriate to have an expectation from your Dom that they will tell you if they’ve been intimate with someone else? Answer: The short answer: yes. Absolutely, 100% yes. A relationship, especially a D/s one is built on trust, communication, and honesty. You should not only expect them to tell you when they

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Looking for a Dominant Partner? Do This First! How To Perform a Self-Assessment

Recently, my Master and I listened in on a kink Q&A. I was interested to see what questions people had about kink, especially people seeking guidance. Somewhat surprisingly, most people who tuned in seemed to have questions about relationships more than kink. Many of them were submissives curious about how to look for or embark

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10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Dynamic in Isolation with Your Dominant

While many of us will feel guilty when we need time away from our dominants, there is no question that it is productive and therapeutic. Spending time exclusively with your partner and not getting any personal time alone, especially introverts can be somewhat of a challenge. If you’re stuck in self-isolation, having coping mechanisms to

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The Concept of Ritual in D/s Relationships

This entry is part 25 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

Rituals have always been an essential aspect of my daily life. In and outside of submission, ritual is how I interact with my reality. Practicing ritual is how I organize my time and make sense of complex abstract ideas (like love, devotion, and purpose). Yet, ritual itself is a complex abstract idea. Many people struggle to define it, and

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The Basic Tenets of Being a Submissive in a D/s Dynamic

Do you have a good idea of what your submission looks like? Just about every single BDSM book, website, or experienced kinky person has defined submission at one time or another. The dictionary definition just doesn’t cover all the nuances that living in a submissive lifestyle can include. If you’re brand new to BDSM or

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Building Better Briefing Lists for a More Productive Day in Uncertain Times

In “ Morning and Nighttime Briefing: Rituals for Coping with Uncertainty,” we explored implementing briefing rituals as a way of coping with uncertainty in our lives. We also discussed constructing lists for flexibly outlining our days. We approached this to help erect some semblance of a schedule when outright scheduling is not possible. While that article is a

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Morning and Nighttime Briefing: Rituals for Coping with Uncertainty

This entry is part 34 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

We live in uncertain times—as submissives and as people—our lives are changing every day. Uncertainty is not automatically a problem in itself. However, many of us have become accustomed to a certain amount of structure and control in our lives, making it challenging to make an abrupt, constant change. This makes sense. After all, we

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Review of The Path of the Submissive Partner Virtual Course

When Chris M. Lyon, a relationship consultant, and D/s expert, approached me with news of a virtual course, “The Path of the Submissive Partner,” made specifically for the submissive partner, I was intrigued to know what she had created. I’ve talked about how impressed I was by her book, “ Leading and Supportive Love,” in a review

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5 Tips for Coping with Your Jealousy in a D/s Dynamic

Jealousy is an odd bird. It nests in the unlikeliest of places. It sings at the most inopportune times—and it doesn’t let anyone sleep. Whether you’re in a D/s dynamic that’s open to new play partners, or you’re in a polyamorous relationship, jealousy can be a challenge. If it’s causing snags in your relationships (and

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