The 1950s Head of Household style of power exchange often sparks curiosity and debate in the BDSM community. This article examines what the dynamic really means, how it differs from other traditions, and why it appeals to some couples. A reflective look at structure, tradition, and submission in modern relationships.
An Overview of 1950’s Head of Household Style Power Exchange Read More »
Submissives often struggle to express their sexual needs, but those needs matter as much as a Dominant’s. This article explores why communication is vital, how to speak up without guilt, and why ignoring your desires can harm intimacy. A reminder that healthy power exchange requires mutual respect and open dialogue.
Why Your Sexual Needs Matter in a D/s Relationship (or ANY Relationship) Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. “I am looking for a NEW SUBMISSIVE to collar as my slave.” Why? This comment is perhaps one of the more common statements made by Male Dominant names in Internet chat rooms. It
The Need for Speed – The Desperation of Some Dominants Read More »
In a poly triad, feeling like a “third wheel” can cause frustration and hurt—especially when one partner leans on marital status for power. This article explores how to address conflict, express concerns, and work with your Dominant to restore balance and equality within the dynamic.
Poly Conflict: Feeling Like a Third Wheel in a Triad Read More »
Some of us live our D/s lives out in the open, letting family and friends know who and what we are – and dealing with any fallout from people who don’t understand the lifestyle. To you, I have much love and respect. I’m not there yet…and maybe I never will be. Others, like myself, keep
How to Deal With the Question of Being Kinky and a Parent Read More »
My partner and I just went through the strenuous process of apartment hunting and I realized along the way, that there are many similarities between apartment hunting and hunting for a compatible partner. These similarities are applicable both in vanilla and kinky relationships, but I believe, they are more pronounced in kink. When you begin
How Searching for a Compatible Partner is Like Apartment Hunting Read More »
Using a dating site to find a partner that is interested in power exchange and BDSM is a difficult prospect. Many people abandon mainstream sites in hopes that kink social networks and other forums will provide them with a partner that is compatible and looking for the same kind of relationship. I feel that the
The Secrets to Writing a Successful BDSM Dating Profile Read More »
Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s
M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings Read More »
Do you feel addicted to your Dominant when you’re apart? You’re not alone. This article explores why submissives can experience obsession, longing, and withdrawal, and how love chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine play a role. Find reassurance and perspective on whether your intense feelings are healthy and normal.
I Feel Addicted to My Dominant, Is This Normal? Read More »
We were conversing over Skype. It was late on her end and not so late on mine. We were talking about the distance between us, again. I’d just come back from seeing her in person for the first time, and we were sharing our surprise at how much we missed each other only days later.
Eight Miles – Looking For a Smooth Transition for Long Distance Relationships Read More »
When I started learning about submission it had nothing to do with “lifestyle” or “relationships” or “24/7”. It was about feeding a desire. Sure, much of that was masochistic play but not all of it. So, when I met people and they were saying they were lifestyle submissives or in 24/7 relationships I looked at
Learning To Be a 24/7 Submissive Is Like… Read More »
This is a guest post by Mina Button. She has written for Submissive Guide previously and you can find her writing here. When I first heard about the idea of mono/poly, a relationship in which one partner is monogamous and the other partner isn’t, I thought it could never possibly work. Well, maybe it could work
Jealousy and Mono/Poly Relationships Read More »
I admit that it’s been over a decade since I was in a long distance relationship, but I know that even with that thought, the complexities of a long distance relationship are still a common part of what I deal with on a daily basis in responding to emails from you. I can never forget
Tips for Developing Long Distance Relationships Read More »
This is a guest post by Tilari of ServiceSubmissive.com Service in a power exchange dynamic can be a very intense and involved experience, especially when you’re in a 24/7 dynamic and “always on.” You have a to-do list that is starting to hit triple digits, you’re pretty sure you hung the floggers up on the clothesline instead
How to Keep Yourself From Being Overwhelmed in a Service Dynamic Read More »
My husband and I have a great marriage but both of us recently opened up about our desires to explore D/s lifestyle. He wants me to be a more attentive partner, take care of His needs and explore my sexuality. I have been submissive to just about everyone my entire life, most of those situations
Mending Old Relationship Scars to Open Up to New Things Read More »
Intro: Where were we again? It might be in poor taste to pick up where I left off after nearly a two-year hiatus from Submissive Guide, but I felt that long distance relationships was as appropriate as any to begin with, if not a little ironic. My Dominant and I are on the cusp of
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Missing You Read More »
The other day, I was all curled up on the couch browsing Facebook on my tablet. I’m scrolling and scrolling, and scrolling some more until something catches my eye. It’s a photo someone posted in a submissives only group that I’m in. I had scrolled past it a little so I found it again. I
Some Misconceptions about the Caregiver/Little Dynamic Read More »
This is a guest post by Vikki Heaven. I realize I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve put my head on my lover’s chest and sobbed “but we’re in love, why can’t we just be together.” He soothes me and tells me that the mathematical improbability of us even finding each other makes our
Two Bodies Revolving Around a Core: The Slow Dance of a BDSM Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
Dear lunaKM, My boyfriend and I have decided to enter into a D/s relationship as fully as we can. Though I love serving my Dom, I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Very rarely does he seem interested in my pleasure at all or trying to connect my pleasure
Feeling Unfulfilled: Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. _Disclaimer: This article is over 15 years old and some of the thoughts may feel antiquated. It is shared here to expand your view and see the growth of knowledge over time. _
Grappling with Tradition and History to Define 24/7 Long Term D/s Relationships Read More »
