Defining Sub Space

This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Subspace – This term generally is used to describe a moderate to deep trancelike condition experienced by persons in the submissive position in a D/s relationship during interaction with the person in the […]

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Getting Back Into The Game: Returning to Kink After a Break

Getting back into BDSM is harder than getting into it in the first place. This sounds counterintuitive – you know the safewords and one another’s fetishes, you’ve done your research, you just took a little break. Turns out that little break for a few months actually has a major impact on your kink relationship. For

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When Kinky isn’t Sexy

A common misunderstanding that people who are new to the scene seem to have is that kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should be separated. This is especially true if the participants in

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Perspectives: Canes

This is another post in the series about a submissive’s perspective in play. This one is on canes and caning, but I’ve also written on gags,  spanking, flogging and rope bondage. My first exposure to canes was that of some amateur porn I stumbled across and it made me so terrified of canes that I vowed never to experience them.

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But I Don’t Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure

I have heard it a thousand times, someone doesn’t like pain so they are not interested in BDSM. In practically every case the person making that statement retracts it once they find out how erotic some pain can be. Pain doesn’t have to be painful, and other stimuli can be pleasurable and can either mask

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How The 50 Shades of Grey Series and Movie Have Impacted the BDSM Lifestyle

I had, for the longest time, an opinion that I was not going to write about or mention the “50 Shades of Grey” series on this site. I’ve never read them and have no desire to see the movie, but I have read countless reviews and read-alongs from others in the community and the media to make

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DIY: Knife & Blood Play

Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which

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Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community

I am a submissive.  I have never felt exploited in any way.  In fact, I feel empowered.  I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t

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What is a Fetish?

This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Fetish. An object of extreme or irrational reverence or devotion. The often pathological displacement of erotic or libidinal interest sufficient to stimulate actions of worship. Often regarded as a fixation of the mind

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