I logged onto Fetlife one early Friday morning with a steamy cup of joe and saw this message straight away: I was there last night but didn’t get out of my truck. I was still in my work clothes and didn’t really know how to find you guys. Maybe I’ll try again next month. As […]
Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community Read More »
Sharing your masturbation sessions with a Dominant can feel nerve-wracking at first—but it doesn’t have to. This guide explores why watching arousal is such a turn-on and how to move past embarrassment into confidence. Discover how to transform vulnerability into intimacy and make this act deeply satisfying for both of you.
He Wants to Watch: How to Share Your Masturbation Sessions With Confidence Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Subspace – This term generally is used to describe a moderate to deep trancelike condition experienced by persons in the submissive position in a D/s relationship during interaction with the person in the
Defining Sub Space Read More »
Getting back into BDSM is harder than getting into it in the first place. This sounds counterintuitive – you know the safewords and one another’s fetishes, you’ve done your research, you just took a little break. Turns out that little break for a few months actually has a major impact on your kink relationship. For
Getting Back Into The Game: Returning to Kink After a Break Read More »
A common misunderstanding that people who are new to the scene seem to have is that kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should be separated. This is especially true if the participants in
When Kinky isn’t Sexy Read More »
This is another post in the series about a submissive’s perspective in play. This one is on canes and caning, but I’ve also written on gags, spanking, flogging and rope bondage. My first exposure to canes was that of some amateur porn I stumbled across and it made me so terrified of canes that I vowed never to experience them.
Perspectives: Canes Read More »
Hi luna, My Sir has tasked me with researching and carrying out CBT. I have no experience with it and am looking for a how-to. Honestly I’m afraid of hurting him and need to be confident when this happens…maybe watch a video so I know what to expect? I have found some information; do you
Resources For CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) Read More »
This is a guest post by Mina Button. The idea of wearing a butt plug outside the bedroom is exciting. It shows up in lots of erotica, especially in connection with the idea of “anal training,” where a submissive learns to open their ass for their Dominant. It has the potential to be really hot,
Wearing Butt Plugs Longer: Training for Pleasure Read More »
Sub space is one of the big topics I cover here on the site. So much of what we know about it shifts and changes with our experience that I’m always learning more about how it affects people and what draws people to reaching that sensation in play. If you don’t know, part of why
The 5 Levels of Sub Space In and Out of Playtime Read More »
Vagina. Pussy. Cunt. Twat. Poochy. Whoo-ha. Down there. We have a ton of words for the vagina, but the average person knows very little about this aspect of the human anatomy, which is pretty amazing considering how integral it is to your day-to-day life. So I figured that I would write an overview of information
A Discussion of Anatomy: The Vagina Read More »
This past winter I ran an educational event through the campus Women’s Center on BDSM in response to Fifty Shades of Grey. With the movie coming out I knew that people would be interested in the topic and consider trying it themselves and I wanted them to be safe about it. I covered the basics
Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought Read More »
I have heard it a thousand times, someone doesn’t like pain so they are not interested in BDSM. In practically every case the person making that statement retracts it once they find out how erotic some pain can be. Pain doesn’t have to be painful, and other stimuli can be pleasurable and can either mask
But I Don’t Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure Read More »
I had, for the longest time, an opinion that I was not going to write about or mention the “50 Shades of Grey” series on this site. I’ve never read them and have no desire to see the movie, but I have read countless reviews and read-alongs from others in the community and the media to make
How The 50 Shades of Grey Series and Movie Have Impacted the BDSM Lifestyle Read More »
Me and my boy friend have recently become interested in a D/s relationship I want more information but I’m not sure where to look. Knowing where to start can be difficult when you don’t know a whole lot about BDSM. You have at least taken a good first step by encountering Submissive Guide and there
I’m New to BDSM, Where Do I Find Information? Read More »
Most of us in the BDSM or D/s lifestyle love our toys. Some of us have chests, trunks and even entire rooms dedicated to our tools and toys. I know that KnyghtMare and I have lots of toys and the space they take up keeps growing with each new purchase. Making sure they are clean
Tips for Taking Care of Your BDSM and Sex Toys Read More »
I sign up for a lot of emails. I get four to five daily recipes newsletters as well as several ebooks bargains of the day, daily quotes, and an occasional blog here and there. The other thing I sign up for is called The Daily OM. It’s a daily email newsletter with a message that
Finding Your Tribe-The Importance of the Kink Community Read More »
This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which
DIY: Knife & Blood Play Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. With great
Sub Drop Madness – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
