Pansexuality is more than gender—it’s attraction to people as individuals. This reflection shares one submissive’s journey of discovering pansexual identity later in life, questioning labels, and embracing desire that transcends sex or gender. Honest, thoughtful, and personal, it offers insight into what being pansexual means in real relationships.
On Being Pansexual Read More »
Entering the local BDSM community can feel intimidating, especially for newcomers. This article offers supportive, practical tips for finding events, overcoming anxiety, understanding community norms, and taking first steps at your own pace, helping readers build connection and confidence without pressure or overwhelm.
Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community Read More »
Sharing your masturbation sessions with a Dominant can feel nerve-wracking at first—but it doesn’t have to. This guide explores why watching arousal is such a turn-on and how to move past embarrassment into confidence. Discover how to transform vulnerability into intimacy and make this act deeply satisfying for both of you.
He Wants to Watch: How to Share Your Masturbation Sessions With Confidence Read More »
Subspace is a common but often misunderstood experience in BDSM and power exchange. This article defines subspace, explains how and why it occurs, and explores its emotional and physical effects, helping submissives better understand their experiences while emphasizing safety, communication, and aftercare.
Defining Sub Space Read More »
Taking a break from kink is common, and returning doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. This article explores how to re-enter kink after time away with patience, self-awareness, and intention, offering reassurance and practical guidance for reconnecting with desire, identity, and community safely.
Getting Back Into The Game: Returning to Kink After a Break Read More »
Not every kinky experience feels erotic or arousing, and that’s normal. This article explores why kink isn’t always sexy, addressing emotional states, expectations, and pressure while helping readers understand the difference between fantasy and reality, validate their experiences, and approach kink with more self-compassion and awareness.
When Kinky isn’t Sexy Read More »
Canes are a distinct and intense form of impact play in BDSM. This article explores perspectives on using canes, including expectations, sensations, emotional dynamics, and safety considerations, helping readers better understand how caning fits into consensual power exchange and informed play.
Perspectives: Canes Read More »
CBT (cock and ball torture) is an intense form of genital impact play that requires careful education and consent. This article curates safety-focused resources and perspectives to help readers approach CBT responsibly, emphasizing communication, anatomical awareness, risk management, and harm reduction within consensual BDSM dynamics.
Resources For CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) Read More »
Wearing butt plugs for longer periods can be part of comfort building, pleasure exploration, or kink training when approached safely. This article explores gradual progression, body awareness, hygiene, and consent-focused practices to help readers increase wear time responsibly while prioritizing comfort, health, and communication.
Wearing Butt Plugs Longer: Training for Pleasure Read More »
Subspace can feel different from person to person and from scene to scene. This article explores the five levels of subspace, explaining how each stage may show up during play and in emotional connection outside of scenes, helping submissives better understand their experiences, responses, and aftercare needs.
The 5 Levels of Sub Space In and Out of Playtime Read More »
Understanding vaginal anatomy is an important part of informed, consensual kink and sexual health. This article explores the structure and function of the vagina in an educational, respectful way, helping readers better understand their bodies, communicate about sensation and limits, and engage in play with greater awareness and safety.
A Discussion of Anatomy: The Vagina Read More »
Coming out as kinky is a deeply personal decision that carries emotional, relational, and sometimes professional implications. This article explores important considerations before disclosing your kink identity, helping readers weigh privacy, safety, and authenticity with intention rather than pressure or impulse.
Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought Read More »
Not everyone naturally enjoys pain, yet for many people pain becomes erotic within consensual BDSM play. This article explores how sensation, mindset, trust, and emotional context can transform pain into pleasure, helping readers better understand their own responses while emphasizing consent, communication, and personal boundaries.
But I Don’t Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure Read More »
I had, for the longest time, an opinion that I was not going to write about or mention the “50 Shades of Grey” series on this site. I’ve never read them and have no desire to see the movie, but I have read countless reviews and read-alongs from others in the community and the media to make
How The 50 Shades of Grey Series and Movie Have Impacted the BDSM Lifestyle Read More »
Me and my boy friend have recently become interested in a D/s relationship I want more information but I’m not sure where to look. Knowing where to start can be difficult when you don’t know a whole lot about BDSM. You have at least taken a good first step by encountering Submissive Guide and there
I’m New to BDSM, Where Do I Find Information? Read More »
Most of us in the BDSM or D/s lifestyle love our toys. Some of us have chests, trunks and even entire rooms dedicated to our tools and toys. I know that KnyghtMare and I have lots of toys and the space they take up keeps growing with each new purchase. Making sure they are clean
Tips for Taking Care of Your BDSM and Sex Toys Read More »
I sign up for a lot of emails. I get four to five daily recipes newsletters as well as several ebooks bargains of the day, daily quotes, and an occasional blog here and there. The other thing I sign up for is called The Daily OM. It’s a daily email newsletter with a message that
Finding Your Tribe-The Importance of the Kink Community Read More »
This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which
DIY: Knife & Blood Play Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
