From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.
Finding someone who shares your BDSM interests can take patience, whether you want a casual play partner or a lasting relationship. This beginner guide explores places to meet kinky people, including dating platforms and local communities, while encouraging thoughtful connections, realistic expectations, and basic safety when meeting someone new.
BDSM Basics – How Do I Find Someone to Play With? Read More »
Flogging can offer sensations ranging from soft and soothing to intense and stingy. This beginner-friendly guide explores different flogger materials, getting familiar with a new toy, communicating what feels good, and engaging your senses during play so you can approach your first experiences with curiosity, awareness, and confidence.
Getting Started with Flogging Read More »
some time pulling together the entire year’s count of sales through Amazon.com from Submissive Guide’s links. I wanted to know what you all were reading! And boy is it interesting! Check it out and if you see a book that peaks your interest, head on over through the link and check it out. Your other
The Year’s Best-Selling BDSM Books and eBooks from Amazon Voted by YOU Read More »
Discovering BDSM can feel like standing before an enormous buffet of possibilities. Instead of trying everything at once, this article encourages beginners to slow down, explore a few interests at a time, and reflect on what they learn. Curiosity is valuable, but you don’t have to experience everything right now.
Getting Started At the Kinky Buffet Read More »
Looking for reliable places to learn more about littles, age play, adult babies, and diaper lovers? This resource roundup collects books, communities, videos, websites, and other educational sources for consenting adults who want to explore terminology, experiences, relationships, negotiation, and different ways people participate in age play and ABDL communities.
The Best Resources for Littles, Adult Babies, and Diaper Lovers Read More »
Coming out about kink can feel vulnerable, especially when you’ve already experienced rejection for another part of your identity. This personal reflection compares coming out as lesbian with later being open about BDSM and D/s, exploring lost friendships, changing relationships, authenticity, and the importance of finding people who accept you.
Coming Out of the Closet… Twice Read More »
A collar can carry powerful meaning for a submissive, but is there an equivalent symbol for a Dominant? This article explores how collars symbolize the D/s relationship for both partners and considers meaningful tokens a submissive might give their Dominant, including jewelry, keys, toys, or a representation of their relationship agreement.
A Symbol for Dominants? Read More »
Are you Dominant, submissive, or something else entirely? This beginner guide introduces common BDSM roles, including Dominant, submissive, Top, bottom, Master, slave, little, pet, and Owner. Learn how to begin exploring the roles that appeal to you without feeling pressured to choose one identity or make that choice permanent.
BDSM Basics: Am I Dominant or submissive? Read More »
Can consensual kink become part of a personal healing journey? One trauma survivor shares how exploring S&M with a trusted partner helped them build trust, communicate openly, process difficult emotions, and create new associations with past experiences. BDSM wasn’t a cure, but it became a meaningful part of their healing.
How S&M Saved My Life Read More »
Do you have to enjoy certain activities to be considered kinky? This beginner-friendly article challenges the idea that there’s a checklist for belonging in BDSM. Your interests, limits, and preferences are individual, and you don’t have to enjoy everything—or pursue increasingly intense experiences—to consider yourself kinky or explore the community.
BDSM Basics: Am I Kinky If…? Read More »
Burning or irritation during sex toy use is not something to ignore. This article explores how certain toy materials may cause unpleasant reactions, why cheaper toys can sometimes be problematic, and which materials are generally considered safer choices. If a toy causes burning, stop using it and reassess what it’s made from.
No Stupid (Sex Toy) Questions: Should my vagina be burning?! Read More »
Popular media strongly influences how people understand BDSM. This article explores the stereotypes, misconceptions, and unrealistic relationship dynamics often found in movies, books, porn, and television, while also considering the positive side: media can spark curiosity, encourage discussion, and sometimes give people language for their own kinky experiences.
BDSM and the Media: The Influence of Media on the Perception of BDSM Read More »
One thing I learned while putting together the Guide to Your First Munch was that when someone goes to a meeting for kinky people, with the idea that they are entering a whole new world, they think that all the courtesies and manners they learned before are somehow no longer extinct. People often ask me how they
Manners, Etiquette and Appropriateness When Interacting with People in the BDSM Scene Read More »
The other day in a lifestyle group on Facebook, a member of the group posted a rant because she was tired of hearing about submissives and slaves being punished for stupid things, such as masturbating without permission. I was on the bus on my way home from shopping when I saw this and it upset
Your Kink is Not my Kink – Understanding Other People’s Kinks Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. There is a whip in my closet that is an antique. It’s the kind that Drayers would use on their horse teams when driving a carriage. When I’ve been particularly bad, or good, Master will unhook that puppy from the rope it’s hanging on. Those moments, as he
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 4 – Endorphins Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Do you ever have that feeling when your Master is working you over and waiting for you to say “uncle,” that you will be damned if you’re going to say it before his arm gets too tired to flog you anymore? I do. I’m a brat through and
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 3 – Testosterone Read More »
Talking dirty is an art that not many are born with, most of us have to learn it if we want to be good at it. I’ve given a bit of a primer on it before if you want to check that out, and I know that many of you are shy and just thinking of talking
5 Types of Naughty Talk To Enhance Your Sexual Experiences Read More »
My first experience with ass to mouth sex was a huge surprise. I was playing around with someone, and I said something to the effect of, “kiss my ass” as a way to disagree with something he said, and he rolled me over, pinned me down and started kissing my ass. It moved to rimming,
My Time on the Edge: Exploring Rimming Read More »
Since discovering my submissive side back in 2012, I’ve been in a perpetual holding pattern when it comes to meeting people in my local kinky community. I want to get involved, but I’m also afraid of taking that first step. I’ve done tons of research using the incredibly helpful articles on Submissive Guide, which has helped to
An Accidental Outing: Encountering Other Kinky People in Your Vanilla Life Read More »
Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives, we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and how scary some of the things
Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It Read More »
