Here are tips and strategies for clear, honest, and respectful communication, helping you navigate the highs and challenges of effective dialogue in your D/s relationships.
One of the hardest things we do as submissives is asking for play. For many of us, coming out and saying we want play feels like we are topping from the bottom, stepping out of our submissive boundaries and doing something that isn’t in our character. But I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. […]
How to Ask for Play and Why It’s So Hard For Submissives To Do Read More »
“I want my Dominant to spank me more.” “How can I tell him I need more praise and approval without topping from the bottom?” “I need more attention, how can I tell him without being pushy?” “Can I tell him I love him and still be submissive? “How do I tell him that my needs
How To Ask for More Without Being a Pushy Submissive Read More »
This is the last in my series about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. Up to this point, I have talked about how important communication, honesty, and trust is to a relationship. For this last article, I will be talking about the importance of transparency in relationships. I saved this one for
Keys to a Successful Relationship-Transparency is Like a Brick Wall Read More »
This is the third in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This third article is about the importance of trust and the role it plays in our relationships. Check out the previous articles – It’s All About Communication and Honesty is the Best Policy. I am
Keys to a Successful Relationship: Trust is Like a Mirror… Read More »
To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct
Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships Read More »
This is an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This second article is about the importance that honesty plays in our relationships. The first one is It’s All About Communication I remember growing up, I always heard from the adults around me that honesty was
Keys to a Successful Relationship – Honesty is Really the Best Policy Read More »
This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more mainstream thanks
Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication Read More »
My Master sometimes wants me to beg for mercy while he’s punishing me. I don’t really mind it, but I just don’t know how to beg for mercy. It’s not the same as begging for an orgasm. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to beg for him to have mercy on me during whippings or
How Do You Beg For Mercy? Read More »
I was talking with a friend of mine awhile ago and she said something that really piqued my attention. She was telling me about her boyfriend and how upset she is over the fact that he won’t chase after her. They had some kind of argument and stormed out of the apartment. She got in
The Chase is On – Communicating Openly With Your Dominant Read More »
“ If you’re angry, take deep breaths. If you’re really angry, swear.” – Mark Twain My friend says on her blog, “Anger and I are old friends.” This is why I like her blog so much because she is very realistic. You’ll probably see a lot of submissives say that they never get angry at their
Dealing With Anger As a Submissive Read More »
My family found out that I’m into BDSM/submissive and they are freaking out, what do I do? Coming out to your family, whether it be homosexuality or being kinky is a nerve-wrecking situation for anyone. Not being able to control when and where you family finds out this information would feel like a disaster but
How You Can Respond When Your Family Disapproves of Your Chosen Lifestyle/Sexuality Read More »
In part 1 of this series of articles, we examined the initial approach for discussing your submissive desires with your vanilla partner. In part 2 we examined how to address the issue if your partner does not respond positively to the initial approach. In this final part 3, we examine how to proceed if your vanilla partner reacts positively
Imagine this. You are bombarded with private messages from every Dominant in a 500 mile radius offering their control for your submission, usually only of the sexual kind. They send you penis pictures and say they are a true Master with two-times the years experience than they are old. Not hard to imagine? You mean
How To Tell A Dominant That You Are Not Interested In Them Read More »
“What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is part 2 and deals with a situation in which your vanilla partner is not receptive to what has been discussed in part 1. As mentioned in part 1, if after the first conversation in which you have expressed a mild version of your BDSM desires
“What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is a common situation and one which does not have an easy answer. It is important because, for many of us, it is not sufficient to simply bury our desires and needs for BDSM submission. This article will discuss how to approach your partner the
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Read More »
Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner and others instead of the social discomfort you constantly feel. But what is shyness and how does it manifest? You can get over being shy and start living your life free from social awkwardness. Then your submissive communication
The Secret of Communicating When You Are Shy Read More »
In a previous article, I discussed conflict resolution in a D/s relationship. This post will continue the discussion on returning to your submissive role after the argument. So, you’ve taken my advice from the previous article and stepped outside your roles to resolve a conflict with your partner. Perhaps you had an all-out fight. Relationships
3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Submission Post-Argument Read More »
Last month I had a question show up in my inbox that actually had me puzzled for a bit. Not that the question was difficult at all, but that I honestly didn’t think about how I handle it in our relationship, so I got up and asked KM. He assured me that my thought process
5 Ways to Resolve Conflict in a D/s Relationship Read More »
Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I’ve been doing it for almost 8 years now and it doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon. The teacher always asks for me to pull some people together and says that he gets a lot of excellent
Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid Read More »
“Safe spaces require that we appreciate and respect the vulnerability of others and grace it with our own.” – Christen Killick Good communication is the cornerstone for a great relationship, whether in a Dominant/submissive dynamic or not. When you’ve been at this for a while, you don’t have to think much about it because it
Creating a Safe Space: Enhancing Communication in D/s Relationships Read More »
