Once you know that you owe someone an apology, you’ve got to know how to apologize. Nothing is worse than being on the receiving end of an apology that sounds more like it’s a backhanded wave of secondary attacks, and the last thing that you want to do is turn your apologetic conversation into a […]
The Art of Apology: How to Apologize Read More »
We all know that communicating well with our partners is one of the most important (and often hardest) aspects of keeping a relationship healthy. It’s something that’s talked about a lot in the BDSM community when we talk about meeting our wants and needs, as well as in the vanilla community where we address building
The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing Read More »
Have you ever felt like if you made a suggestion or requested a change in the relationship to your Dominant was horribly inappropriate, that it was overstepping your boundaries as a submissive? What about asking for something you’d like to do, like have sex or play, or even just go out to dinner? Do you
Learn to Speak Up and Speak Out: Empowering Yourself to Have a Voice Read More »
Submission often begins as a want—but for many, it becomes a core need. This reflection explores how everyday challenges can highlight the importance of power exchange, why acknowledging submission as a need strengthens your dynamic, and how to communicate that truth with your Dominant.
Talking to Your Dominant: When A Desire Becomes a Need Read More »
With franchises like Fifty Shades of Grey having integrated themselves almost completely in the mainstream, I have had the combined frustration and horror of my role as a submissive and my role as a teacher nearly clashing more than once. While I would NEVER share any part of my home activities with any of my
Keep Your Voice: Your Rights as a Submissive Read More »
In every single article I write, I stress the importance of communication, so you would think that I practice as I preach and work really hard to include communication in my relationship. And truth is, I do try, but I have realized that open and honest communication with a partner can only happen when I
Opening Communication with Myself Read More »
Submission doesn’t mean silence. Too often, subs believe they shouldn’t express needs once the dynamic is set—but that’s a myth. This guide helps submissives learn how to communicate openly, ask for what they need, and strengthen their D/s relationship with honesty and clarity. Because submission is active, not passive.
How to Ask for What You Need as a Submissive Read More »
Exploring how to introduce your kinky desires to a partner can feel intimidating. This article offers subtle ways to signal your submissive interests while emphasizing the importance of clear, direct communication. Learn how to balance hints with honest conversation so your needs are understood and your dynamic grows stronger.
Are There Subtle Ways I Can Cue My Partner Into My Kinky Interests? Read More »
Do submissives really get to have a voice? This article explores how to speak up with honesty and respect in a D/s relationship while avoiding “speaking out.” Learn how sharing your needs and feelings strengthens trust, communication, and your dynamic with your Dominant.
Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication Read More »
BDSM is all about mutual respect between dominant and submissive, master and slave. If there is a lack of respect in either direction things are likely to deteriorate quickly. Part of respect is understanding that your partner is entitled to their own needs, wants, and opinions and that these are aspects of your partner that
For those of you who are avid Red Phoneix fans, she’s at it again. She’s currently working on the third installment of the Brie series, Submissive in Love. While I was reading the second novella, Brie’s Denver Desires, a passage at the end of the book grabbed my attention and wouldn’t let go. “Sir, you’re
Reciprocity: Expectations of Transparency of the Dominant Read More »
Hello lunaKM, I have a Dom friend that has been helping explore and figure out this wonderful world of BDSM. I have been seeing him for a few months and we are moving into more of a relationship and not just scenes. My question is how do I ask him for the discipline/attention when I
How To Ask for a Dominant’s Attention Read More »
Communication is key – I say it in every article, but it becomes no less true. Communication is imperative to any relationship, especially one in which your physical and mental health are at risk. This week I have had trouble. Master is very interested in entering into a poly-dynamic. While this initially sounded very attractive
Talking Even When Words Are Hard: Opening the Lines of Communication With Your Dominant Read More »
Dear lunaKM, As a slave in training, I start doubting my worth when I don’t get a response within an hour. –impatient We hear this one a lot. The silence between messages can feel so heavy, especially when your heart is deeply invested. But here’s the truth: your value isn’t defined by someone else’s response
What Do I Do While I Wait for a Response from My Long Distance Dominant? Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I am new to being in a D/s relationship, and I am having difficulty with learning how to speak to Him more properly. I have no problem when emailing, or messaging, but that is because I have time to think about what I am saying to Him. He is wonderful at correcting me,
How Can I Learn to Speak More Respectfully? Read More »
As a submissive, I understand how hard it is to face your Dominant and ask them to play or have sex or what have you. When I was new I thought that asking for these things was a boundary you just didn’t cross. My belief that the Dominant was supposed to do things to you
How to Ask for More BDSM Playtime Read More »
This is a guest post by Xiao Yingtai. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is
Communicating While Submissive Read More »
I know what you are thinking when reading the title. How can a submissive get mad at their Dominant? Isn’t a relationship built on trust and communication going to run smoother than one that isn’t? That’s not a very good submissive behavior! No, probably not, but it is a human one and we are humans
How to Keep a Cool Head When You Get Angry With Your Dominant Read More »
Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada is a weekend for celebrating the good we have in our lives and sharing it with those who are close to us. There is so much to be thankful for and this year, as I look back, I see the amazing abundance that comes to us in various ways, but
Submission in Gratitude Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I have been in my first D/s relationship (online) for about a month. What is your view concerning the care, direction, and contact of Dominants w/their subs? I know we are all different, but I have nothing to compare. Contact is spotty and I feel a bit lost. Some days I get a
What Is The Expectation of Communication in an Online D/s Relationship? Read More »
