I think that many of us would agree that while playtime is not the most important aspect of our relationships, it plays a fairly vital role in our happiness in those relationships. It is, after all, one of the things that drive us to realize that mainstream relationships just don’t fit right for us, the way they fit other people. So, when entering a long distance, alternative-style relationship, the aspect that a sub probably most worries about isn’t so much, “how are we going to make this work in the long-term?” as it is, “How am I really going to experience the full effect of my Dominant’s presence when he/she isn’t with me?” And, of course, an offshoot of that is, “how exactly are we going to play?”

As with many aspects of D/s, there’s really no one “right” answer, and probably only a very few wrong answers (most of the latter being anything that compromises your safety or trust); so it follows that presenting you with an article that gives you a list of do and don’t and mayhap makes little sense. Instead, I’ve compiled a list of games that my Dom and I play, which you might feel free to pull apart and put together in new, exciting ways that work for your Dom and yourself.

  1. Days of Many Colours
    • My Dom already has a good amount of control over what I wear most days, so this wasn’t too much of a stretch for either of us to come up with. The object of the game? On days specified by your Dom, wear as many colours as possible. Send pictures of your outfit to your Dom. At the end of the day, have your Dom add up the number of colours that you managed to wear. Your reward? For every colour that you’ve worn, you get a specific number of seconds (How many is up to your Dom. Usually I get 30 seconds to a minute for every colour I wear, depending on whether or not it’s a work day). What are the seconds for? Play time, of course! How you spend your time is completely up to your Dom, of course, but it’s a lot of fun to work for your minutes.
  2. Stop & Go
    • Another fun game: this one for those of you who are already comfortable being on webcam with your Dom. The concept is pretty simple: Dom says, “Go” and you go; Dom says “Stop” and you stop. Repeat as necessary. ;)
  3. Home Alone
    • This isn’t as much a game as the other two are. Since I don’t live by myself, though, I always let my Dom know when I have the house to myself. Occasionally, my announcement earns me specific instructions for what I should be doing in my alone time. Sometimes it’s as simple as “go make a cup of tea,” and sometimes it’s followed by more complex, playful instructions.
  4. Time Yourself
    • Timing myself is actually one of the rules given to me by my Dom, but most days, my Dom gives me a specific number of minutes and/or seconds to play each night before I sleep.

There are many other ways that you and your Dom can play; ultimately, you’ll find ways that work for you without even realizing that you’ve done so until after the fact.

What are the ways that you already play with your Dom? Are there any activities that you can think of that can be modified for long distance relationships? Comment below!