by Ambrosio. This was first published on Ambrosio’s site and has a free to distribute license. Abrosio dedicated this article to Beverly M. in Austin.
In summary — play nice. BDSM is about playing games, and in the best games everyone has fun.
Further Reading and Sources
This article is only meant to be a starting point. For further study here are books and links:
Further Reading Etiquette in General
- Etiquette by Emily Post: This is an online republication of the 1922 edition of Emily Post’s 627-page first edition Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home (The 1922 edition is the most highly recommended book for High Procotol.)
- U. S. Flag Protocol (Title 4)
- George Washington’s “Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation”
- Cardinal Newman On Being a Gentleman
- Passage from Jane Austen’s Northhanger Abbey
Further Reading on Etiquette and Protocol in a BDSM and Leather Context
- The Manners and Traditions Section of “Ambrosio’s BDSM Site”
- “Etiquette for the Scene” by Rose
- “ Civility and Incivility in the Scene” by Chris M
- “A Proposed ‘Pansexual Protocol'” by Ambrosio
- “To Share or Not to Share?” by Rowan Ste. Julian
- “Commandments: Ten Rules for Dominants / Ten Rules for Submissives” (from the SOJ)
- A Leather Bar Hanky Code
- For further reading, there is an etiquette guide for alternative sexuality and lifestyle situations including but not limited to BDSM: Campbell, Drew, The Bride Wore Black Leather … and he looked fabulous! Greenery Press: Emeryville, 2000.
Links About the Old Guard
More on the “Old Guard”
- The Old Guard History, Origins and Traditions By Guy Baldwin, M.S. (from The Ties That Bind)
- Old Guard? If You say so. By Joseph W. Bean
- The Myth of the Old Guard By Jack Rinella from his Leather Views site.
- Old Guard, New Guard By Gayle Rubin
- Multiple Tops: Master, Mistress and Daddy Makes Three By Master L.J.E. An Old Guard view of ‘Net Generation polyamoury.
- Marginalia on the Old Guard, Leather Traditions, and BDSM History By Ambrosio
- Rover’s column in the December 1973 issue of California Scene Magazine: Earliest documented use of the phrase “old guard” in a Leather context.
- “Old Guard” Links on the Manners and Traditions page.
Acknowledgments (Additional Sources)
- Mistress Constance: A Lecture on Etiquette at the PEER TNG Tea Party. January 24, 2004
- Townsend, Larry. The Leatherman’s Handbook: The Silver Jubilee Edition (Masquerade Books: New York, 1997) Introductions by Jack Fritscher, Ph.D., Victor Terry, and John Preston
Even More BDSM Etiquette, Scene Traditions, and Leather Protocol Links
- Please see http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/manners.cfm
Polite Behavior for Vampyres
- “The Black Veil V.2: A Voluntary Code of Conduct for Vampyres/Vampires” by Michelle Belanger
Related Articles by Ambrosio
- “Meeting Someone Else into BDSM”
- “Some Notes on Safety for Meeting Online and Off”
- “An Open Letter to a Novice Domme”
- “Perverted Vocabulary: a Glossary of Terms Used in BDSM”
- “Some Notes on Netiquette and ‘Net Basics”
- “Marginalia on the Old Guard, Leather Traditions, and BDSM History”
- “A Proposed ‘Pansexual Protocol'”
Recommended Books
- Campbell, Drew and Donna Barr The Bride Wore Black Leather … And He Looked Fabulous!: An Etiquette Guide for the Rest of Us. ( Greenery Press: Emeryville, 2000.) This book includes some information on Leather protocol but that is not its main focus. It covers a wide spectrum of alternative lifestyles including but not limited to Pagan, Wiccan, Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered, and Polyamorous. Buy it on Amazon.com
- Post, Emily. Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage (The 1922 edition is the most highly recommended book for High Procotol. It’s available on-line at http://www.EvilMonk.org/A/epost.cfm)
- Schwartz, Oretha D., Service Etiquette 4th edition. The definitive book on U.S. military protocol and etiquette. Buy it on Amazon.com
- Townsend, Larry The Leatherman’s Handbook: Silver Jubilee Edition. (Larry Townsend Publishing: 2000) Both a historical document about the Gay Leather scene in the 1970s and also a useful guide to the leather lifestyle. Buy it on Amazon.com
