Full Question: Do you have any advice for someone already in a committed relationship (marriage, for example) who discovers that she is submissive or at least has submissive tendencies? Until this discovery, the sex was mostly vanilla with very light choking play occasionally (so my partner MIGHT have some interest). Answer: I have lived this […]
Advice for Newly Discovered Submission in a Committed Relationship Read More »
Do you have a good idea of what your submission looks like? Just about every single BDSM book, website, or experienced kinky person has defined submission at one time or another. The dictionary definition just doesn’t cover all the nuances that living in a submissive lifestyle can include. If you’re brand new to BDSM or
The Basic Tenets of Being a Submissive in a D/s Dynamic Read More »
As a submissive, we are often bombarded with people telling us that we have to know our wants and needs; from when we first start out, to when we find a relationship, from when we start struggling with this or that, to exploring something new. Wants and needs are quite important. But what’s also important
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. A sexual submissive is a person who manifests submissive traits only in direct connection with sexual arousal and release. In all other aspects of their life this person will probably comport themselves in
The Sexual Submissive Read More »
I haven’t really written much lately. It’s been a part lack of motivation and part lack of inspiration. I’ve had a few ideas, but nothing that really convinced me that I need to actually put down any words. But then the Universe hit me with a really big stick. A couple of months ago, I
The Importance of Being Authentic Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Terms: Propositions, limitations or provisions stated or offered for the acceptance of another and determining the nature, scope, and conditions of the agreement. The ONE TRUE WAY: All submissives are created as equal
Submissive on Your Own Terms: Analyzing The One True Way Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I am a sub that is very new to the BDSM scene. I know a little bit, but I’m quite unfamiliar with a lot. Recently, I met someone online that immediately recognized me as a sub, and I would love to impress him. He asked me what my limits are, and what I’m
What are my limits? Read More »
This is written as a bode of encouragement to those who are struggling in moving from a monogamous relationship to a non-monogamous one. This is not my saying non-monogamy is the only way, or should be your way. This is not in any way to be read as implying negativity towards monogamy. This is also
Transitioning From Monogamy to Ethical Non-Monogamy Read More »
Dear lunaKM, In a nutshell, my question is, how do I know if my masochistic tendencies come from a safe place? My Dom and I have both struggled with mental illness, and as such he has never felt comfortable with anything rougher than biting or hair pulling. However, we have never really talked about it.
Overcoming the Fear of Being Triggered to Open a Dialogue Read More »
This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
A few months ago, I came across writing on Kinky and Popular called “An Uncollaring Ceremony”. The title caught my eye so I clicked, and I am so happy I did because this writing resonated something inside of me and caused me to think of my submission. It made me think about walls that we,
Stop Serving Yourself: An Inspirational Un-Collaring Ceremony Read More »
I will never forget the feeling of “coming home” when I opened the door to BDSM. My whole being was able to relax knowing I was submissive and that I was not the only one. I was also excited beyond belief and felt like I had so much to learn about this new side of
Getting Started At the Kinky Buffet Read More »
I didn’t know I was submissive when I was in my last vanilla relationship. I never would have guessed it at all and would have denied it if someone made the suggestion. I was too independent to be submissive (so I thought). I did, however, have a lingering fascination with rope and bondage after my
Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship Read More »
I LOVE “My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic”. Sometimes in the evenings before bedtime, I will sit and watch episode after episode. My personal favorite is Pinkie Pie. I see a lot of myself in her. In the series, there’s a group, and they’ve dubbed themselves “The Cutie Mark Crusaders”. The reason why they call
What’s Your Cutie Mark? Read More »
I remember it was about ten years ago when I was first introduced to the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice. I had stumbled across the series by accident while browsing the erotica section of a local bookstore. I had no idea what they were about but had read a lot of Anne Rice’s works before
The Longing of Being Owned Read More »
I admit that I used to whisper tales of sub space and the other blissful states that I’ve been in as if they were magical golden hours of submission. I actually believed long ago that sub space is what made me a “real” submissive. Trust me, that bubble didn’t last long. Once it was popped
Little Known Ways We Experience Sub Space Read More »
Like the vanilla world we live in, the kinky world is full of labels. And if you want to stir up a heated discussion, bring up “labels.” It is pretty hard to have a room full of people, talking about labels without someone getting upset. And rightfully so. A lot of people feel that labels
Labels – Yet Another “L” Word Read More »
This is another entry into the self-mentoring series here on Submissive Guide. If your recall back in the first post about solo coaching I asked you and tasked you to start holding private coaching sessions with yourself. Hopefully, you have kept up with these and have earmarked a few challenges in your life that might need some
Solo Coaching – The CREATE Model Read More »
One thing I have learned from my experience as a submissive and my encounters with submissives and slaves all over the place has been the importance of taking things slowly. At one time or another, we all tend to rashly jump into a D/s relationship without really knowing the Dominant that we are surrendering to.
The Importance of Taking Your Time Exploring Submission Before Starting a Relationship Read More »
Virginity. It’s valued and prized and then remembered. There are even people who believe in a second virginity. Of course, there are also BDSM virgins when people just get started. But, the question I got posed to me the other day was if you are a sexual virgin can you even know that you are
Virgins Can Love BDSM Too: How Sexual Preference Doesn’t Have to Involve Sex Read More »
