open communication

How can I explain to my partner that pain play isn’t my only desired source of pleasure?

Full Question: How can I explain to my wife that while I enjoy being spanked and flogged, it doesn’t mean pain play is my only source of pleasure or intimacy? Answer:  Your communication with your wife should be open and honest, even about things in the bedroom. It can be difficult for people to talk […]

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Submission in Gratitude

Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada is a weekend for celebrating the good we have in our lives and sharing it with those who are close to us. There is so much to be thankful for and this year, as I look back, I see the amazing abundance that comes to us in various ways, but

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Five Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Manipulate Your Vanilla Man into Being a Dominant

This entry is part 6 of 11 in the series Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

People often misunderstand how relationship communication works because they may have had such poor examples or think that coercing or manipulating someone is par for the course. You don’t want to tease someone, push them to get angry or jealous with you in hopes that the ensuing fight ends with hot and steamy makeup sex

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Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

This entry is part 8 of 11 in the series Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

In part 1 of this series of articles, we examined the initial approach for discussing your submissive desires with your vanilla partner. In part 2 we examined how to address the issue if your partner does not respond positively to the initial approach. In this final part 3, we examine how to proceed if your vanilla partner reacts positively

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Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 2- My Partner is Not Interested

This entry is part 9 of 11 in the series Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

“What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is part 2 and deals with a situation in which your vanilla partner is not receptive to what has been discussed in part 1. As mentioned in part 1, if after the first conversation in which you have expressed a mild version of your BDSM desires

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Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner

This entry is part 10 of 11 in the series Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

“What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is a common situation and one which does not have an easy answer. It is important because, for many of us, it is not sufficient to simply bury our desires and needs for BDSM submission. This article will discuss how to approach your partner the

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Submission in Marriage – Shifting from Husband and Wife to Dominant and Submissive

Sexual exploration and adventurousness can happen at any time in a couple’s life; and even more so once they are committed to living their lives together for a long time. One of the ways that I’ve seen couples explore their sexual selves is by adding an element of D/s to the marriage. I know I was raised

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How To Talk About Your Wants and Needs With Your Dominant

This entry is part 3 of 10 in the series Submissive Wants and Needs

In the previous post about Wants and Needs we began to understand the importance of Needs for ourselves and our relationship. If you would like to go back and read The Importance of Needs to review, please do so. In this post, I’d like to talk about how to express your wants and needs with yourself and

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