A month or so ago, I wrote a brief review of the Bullet Journal system, and of how I’ve found it to be really helpful in keeping my household duties and side projects in order. My review focused primarily on the standard ways that you can use the book to get yourself into the habit of […]
Bullet Journal: BDSM Scene Reflection Spreads Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Affectionate care and attention following any type of traumatic or mentally challenging event. D/s relationships are engaged with a passion and intensity that are often so strong that they can strip away at
What is Aftercare? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Submissive Rebound is a reaction that occurs in most submissives at some point in their relationship with a Dominant. It manifests in feelings of depression, heightened anxiety and a sensation of ‘distance’ between
Recognizing Sub Rebound (Sub Drop) Read More »
You have a safeword for your BDSM kinky fun. Right? I know there’s a debate in the world of BDSM and D/s between the safeword crew and those who don’t want one. I land firmly on the side of having a safeword – always. It’s rarely used but it’s always there. We could debate the merits of having
What Happens After You Use Your Safeword? Read More »
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. With great
Sub Drop Madness – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
One weekend, my Dominant and I had a number of really great scenes. No matter what we were doing, we were deeply connected to each other and it was blissful. I can’t even remember what we did but I remember the high I felt I was soaring on no matter what else we were doing
Feeling Down After a Play Session? You Could Have Sub Drop Read More »
Sub drop is the feeling of hopelessness and depression that can follow the extreme rush of endorphins during intense play or sex if the sub is not cared for appropriately afterward. Care varies from person to person – some of us need to be held and cuddled and praised and iced or hot packed accordingly,
Sub Drop From Afar: Managing Sub Drop in a Long Distance Relationship Read More »
If there’s one topic that comes up time and again on this blog, in readers’ emails to me and online forums is how do you care for bruises and other physical and emotional reminders of play? Since 2009 when I started writing this site I’ve returned to this topic time and again with interesting and
How to Care for Bruises and More BDSM Play Recovery Tips Read More »
Your scene has just ended and you both feel spent, exhausted and buzzing with good feelings. And then you look around the room, move your aching limbs and start to come out of your or play-induced fog. The room is a mess, there are toys everywhere. Both of you need aftercare. Who does what? How
After the Scene is Over – Clean-up, Aftercare, and Check-Ins Read More »
Sub drop doesn’t have to be a daunting experience. Discover some of the best-kept secrets to help you recover, manage, and prevent sub drop after BDSM play, ensuring better aftercare and healing.
Some of the Best Kept Secrets to Sub Drop Recovery Read More »
Our responsibilities as a submissive are important to be aware of. I’ve said a number of times in other articles that often novice submissives feel that once they are in a relationship they don’t have any responsibilities at all. That is far from true. Does that then mean that single submissives that play casually or
Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship Read More »
Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care
In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare Read More »
When Master and I play, it’s very likely that there will be marks, at least temporarily. Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We are pretty minimal when it comes to first aid for them because I like to keep them as long as possible. I’m the sort
First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks Read More »
Aftercare is an elusive beast. Sometimes I need it and sometimes I’d rather be left alone. I’m never very sure which mood I’ll be in when we begin playing but aftercare is always on standby because I take what happens in scene very hard. It goes with my very emotional self. What exactly is aftercare? Reading some
The Question of Aftercare: What is It, Do You Need It and How to Ask For It (And Get It) Read More »
Disclaimer: This essay is not about when you encounter or find out your Dominant is cheating, but rather an agreement in place that your Dominant can play with others. About three years ago KnyghtMare and I had a discussion about opening the relationship up for SM play with others. From what I am exposed to
On the subject of sub drop and mental health issues, Aletheia asked: I have suffered from clinical depression since early adolescence, if not childhood. I’ve been on medication for ten years, and rarely feel depressed anymore. My mentor suggested that I might want to avoid heavy or intense play, as she suspects that with my
Kink and Mental Health: Can “sub drop” be a trigger? Read More »
When aftercare is mentioned, it is rarely associated with the Dominant. We hear all about how to help the submissive come down from the endorphin high, treat the marks and aches and emotionally recover from the scene. Do we think that Dominants feel nothing during play that they don’t need care afterward? Think again. When
How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play Read More »
Explore the emotional side of sub drop, why it can be more intense in committed BDSM relationships, and how to recover. Understand the unique challenges beyond the physical aspects of sub drop.
The Emotional Side of Sub Drop and Why It Happens More In Committed Relationships Read More »
Aftercare is an important part of recovery from play for many people. It is most common to experience a drop in emotions and energy after play from within hours to even days later. All too often it becomes a necessity to take care of yourself after a play session because your top was just visiting
Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare Read More »
