Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other
In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation. How many times have you had conversations with service personnel or with people you encounter in your day to day without first asking them their name or how they wish to be addressed? It’s a
Generally speaking, the first time you encounter someone in a BDSM context you will likely have to introduce yourself. We’ve all heard that you only get one chance to make a first impression to make sure it’s a good one. I’m going to break this up into two separate sections. One for single submissives and
You should never be afraid to ask a question of your Dominant, however, in certain circumstances, there are inappropriate ways to ask questions and inappropriate questions. First, and I have a hard time at this one too, you shouldn’t question a Dominant’s orders. It is not a submissive’s position to know why a Dominant wishes
The proper apology is an art, it really is. But before we put that together I’d like to cover the reason for apologizing in the first place. Submissive Guide has just released a new expanded edition of Lessons in Submissive Speech. Get Yours Now! Apologizing is not admitting your intentional disobedience. It’s not about accepting the
Saying yes is one of the most frequent phrases I say on a regular basis. There are several ways you can express a “yes” response to your Dominant or others. When a submissive says “yes” it can be as simple or elaborate as the Dominant wishes. This depends on the formality of the relationship and
Just as saying yes or answering in the affirmative can be done many ways, saying no has many ways you can say it also. When a submissive gives a negative answer it can be a simple “no” or it can be as elaborate as the Dominant wishes. Some Dominants do not allow the submissive to
In everyone’s daily exchanges with people there comes a time we will need to interrupt another person or persons to pass on information. For a polite and graceful submissive you should endeavor to not interrupt someone needlessly but to find an appropriate time to step into their presence. Often times I am sent as a messenger for
One of the most valuable things that I think any submissive should know is how to express gratitude in more than one way. I know I’ve taken a lot for granted when I was first starting out and exploring kink with anyone who was interested. Never once did I say thank you for it. I
Sometimes we forget that speaking in a submissive manner could include moments we don’t know who is on the other end of the conversation. Answering the phone or the door is a process that has gotten far too sloppy lately. I hope that with this advice we can begin to correct that. At least at
Think about the last time you went out to eat or stood in line at a check out counter. Do you remember looking at the service person who waited on you? Did you smile at them and greet them or did you stay on your cell phone and not even acknowledge them as they served
If you get 2 submissives in a room together and it’s very likely that a discussion will take place about their Dominant partners. We sure love to talk about them, don’t we? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked about KnyghtMare at the Submissive Forum. It’s usually with pride and love that he
The last post in this series is not about speech but how we say things that speak a lot about our mood, impression of the situation and so much more – our tone. The tone is also something precarious because you can be misunderstood by your tone alone. How many times have you had to
