Full Question: I met a new Master online, and we seemed to hit it off well. We saw each other in person twice. Then he just stopped replying to my texts. I asked if he had changed his mind about me, but he didn’t even respond to that. What does this mean? I don’t know what to do or what to think now.
Answer:
Unfortunately, I get emails with scenarios like this one almost every day. A couple starts out hot online, and they feel compatible. It’s a great time. They meet, or not, but there is no clue that things might be going poorly, and then, “poof,” the person is gone. Never to be heard from again.
You’ve been ghosted. It happens a lot online; at least, it appears to happen a lot. There are several reasons why it happens. Since we can’t be sure why your Dominant disappeared, it may be one of these.
The “I’m Just Horny” Dominant – They will disappear once they’ve got their rocks off. You’ve served your purpose.
The “I Like the Naive Submissive” Dominant – This Dominant will develop as much of a relationship with you as he can, just as long as you never question his control and authority. As you learn more about yourself through this, you’ll gain more control over your impressions of D/s, power exchange, and how you’d like to add to the relationship. Once you are no longer the naïve, new submissive, he has no use for you and moves on to another new novice to entice with his power and control.
The “Now I’m Bored” Dominant – He’s looking for a challenge. They like the bratty submissives, who want to be forced to submit. As long as you play his game, he’s a happy camper. Then you get an itch to feel submission in a less forced way that you’ve grown and want to really submit. You comply without complaint, and while he praises you for finding your submission, he knows he’s lost the fun. Now he’s bored with you. He’ll beg out – stating incompatibility or real life got in the way or something like that. The challenge is over.
The “Lying, Cheating, Wife in the Other Room” Dominant – This person will likely say they are single. They will only be online at predictable times, may log off suddenly without a farewell, and usually won’t share much about who they are with you. Once you start questioning if they are being truthful or why they don’t give you the same intimate details as you do, they’ll back away, afraid to get caught in their lie. Or worse, you’ll find out they are married and tell their wife. They will disappear without a trace.
Please understand that your failure of relationships with these Dominants isn’t your fault. You aren’t gullible or only worth being walked on. Your emotions are genuine and you can be upset by the failure of this kind of relationship. For a time it was very real for you. Unfortunately, it likely wasn’t that real for them. They played you. Online is a feasting ground for all sorts of people, and honesty isn’t something that you can see through the computer screen.
Stand up, dust yourself off and try again.