When I first started considering making the jump from being a strictly online submissive to a real life submissive, I really couldn’t find much information written about it. I didn’t let that discourage me because I was ready and determined to move forward. I could find information about being a 24/7 slave but that’s not what I wanted to enter into right off the bat.
I had been surviving as an online submissive for several years and had woken up to the fact that I was no longer satisfied with just that. I needed more and the relationship I was in just wasn’t allowing that to happen. That in itself was heart breaking and upsetting, but I had to consider what was best for me at the time.
After many months of soul searching, I ended the three-year journey that I had been in. I slowly began to open up to the idea that even with my agoraphobia that this was possible. I’ve been struggling with agoraphobia since 2006 and it’s not been fun. For many years, I truly believed that it wasn’t going to be possible to be a real life submissive again.
So how did I go about making this transition from online to real life?
- I read as much information as I could find about real life submission on the internet.
- I talked to other submissives to find out their thoughts and feelings on making such a transition.
- I soul searched and asked a great many questions of the Dominants who approached me.
- I found an inner strength within me that I thought was gone and was able to face my agoraphobia like it was a problem needing to be solved.
- I found a wonderful Dominant who saw in me the fire I thought has been extinguished long ago.
- I carefully screened several Dominants who may have been suitable before coming to any final conclusion.
- I asked a lot of questions and posed scenarios to see if we would be a good match or not.
- I talked a lot about what I was looking for and needed in a relationship. I also listened to what the Dominant had to say about His needs.
The most important factor was having found that right Dominant who understood. This wasn’t and hasn’t been an easy transition. I had to swallow down panic attacks and anxiety just to meet Him in person for the first time. He understood and took things in stride and in hand, with grace and understanding.
I have had to struggle a bit with understanding that just because I’m not busy that He may be busy. When you’re an online submissive one tends to get used to that Dominant being around often, but we manage to communicate on a daily basis through instant messenger and email. We try to see each other as much as time allows and I still have quite a bit to learn.
The transition hasn’t always been easy for me because I had gotten used to being sat on a shelf and taken down when it was convenient. I have had to learn that there is no pause button in Real Life. I am beginning to value myself more and realize that I was allowing myself to become stale and not who I truly was and am.
The most profound realization was that I had been simply led to believe that I couldn’t do better when I was an online submissive because no one would be able to deal with my agoraphobia. I have come to a realization that I was allowing myself to hide from myself by doing strictly online submission. For me, online really had become unhealthy.
Would I do this all over again? You bet I would. This has been an experience that is helping me better cope with my agoraphobia. I have done years of therapy for it and have reached a bit of stalemate with it. I didn’t have a concrete reason to push myself, and now I do.
This is genuinely the best Real Life experience I have had by far and I have had two others. I think the factor making it better is His deeper understanding of my wants and needs. I have had years to discover mine, and now I have a wonderful journey in which to explore them. I am truly blessed.
LadySneak is a moniker that she uses both on Fetlife and LitErotica. She is a real life submissive with 12+ years experience both online and real life. She is happily in a relationship now and He helps her with her daily struggle with agoraphobia.