Full Question: I have started to converse with a D that interests me. Now before I get swept up in the feels of being a sub, I want to make sure I am checking the right boxes. What am I looking for in terms of time to build the d/s relationship? Obviously, this will vary for everyone, but distance appears to be an obstacle for us, and while he has offered zoom as an in-between, I want to make sure I am serving him as I should, albeit long distance. I do hope you can assist with this question.
Answer:
You’re right. It will vary in every relationship and depend on the people involved. Some build quickly, while others take a long time. What’s important is that the couple spends quality time making meaningful connections and memories and communicating with each other about everything they need and want to make a relationship work.
If you have an online relationship, use the tools available to make your online time together special. You can use Discord to share screens, play games, and watch movies. Try to shrink the distance between you with webcams, and audio through phone calls, and do whatever you can to develop that quality time.
Being submissive to someone long distance takes creativity and being open about challenges. What does serving a Dominant look like to you and them? Have they expressed a lack of service from you, or is this an internal concern because you are experiencing stress from the long-distance situation?
Talk about what you need out of submission and see if there are ways to be fulfilled long-distance. Ask them what they want to feel equally satisfied and work on possible ways to create that. Any relationship is about developing a shared future where both parties are happy. Is meeting in your future? Talk about what that will look like and what being face to face will add to your power exchange.
Our Discord server has many couples in long-distance relationships that could give you some insight into how you can build and nurture your relationship from afar. I encourage you to join us to build your support network. (Invite link: http://subgui.de/chat or in our bio’s linktree)
However long building a healthy relationship takes, as long as you develop and grow, progress is being made. Good luck! Find ways to connect and embrace the happiness a power exchange relationship can bring.