Working outside the home is a requirement for most submissives in D/s relationships. Not everyone gets to be a stay at home submissive. We have family and kids, mortgages and debt to pay. Working is a part of living. But work does not have to be our life.
It’s a struggle to change your power position mind from work to the subservient mind of the submissive at home. I know I spent a lot of time in time out when I got home because I would start my arrival from work with demands and fussiness and arguing. I had to learn quickly what would work for me to shift gears.
You too can learn to shift your mindset from a work mind to your submissive at home mindset with just a few steps.
1. Listen to music that is relaxing and enjoyable. Whether you were forced to listen to soft hits music all day or no music at all, turning on your favorite band has a reclaiming aspect to it. You can do this step in the car if you have a commute to face. If you don’t know what to listen to you can find a CD at your local discount store that is categorized as relaxing meditative music that might help.
Now, just because the music is going doesn’t mean you can continue to think about the work day. Focus on the music or empty your mind. Stop all thoughts of what you were doing at work or what you will have to face tomorrow. You are no longer at work and it can wait for your return. Just listen.
2. Learn how to meditate and disconnect from the world. Meditation doesn’t have to be complex. It requires you to be able to separate your thoughts from time. To empty your head of all thinking and to just be. I recommend you don’t do this in the car, but you can do it just after arriving home, or even in the shower; and I do recommend you shower after work. Wash the day away.
A simple way to meditate is to focus on your breathing and to count your breaths. Each time something else pops into your head you start your count over again. Set a goal number to reach before your mediation is done. Try 20 to start. Work your way up to about 10 minutes of mediation.
3. Shower and change your clothing as soon as you get home. The first thing you should try to do as soon as you walk in the door is kick off your shoes, get out of your work clothing and take a shower. Stripe away every bit of your day but removing the smell, the feeling, the thoughts and watch them flow down the drain. When you get out, make sure you do not put on any article of clothing from your work day. Even your under garments can keep you in the mindset. Try to have special “I’m at home” clothing.
4. Get up and go for a walk, take a swim or go to the gym. You will be amazed how physical activity can separate you from your work mind and bring you fresh back into your submissive mindset. It doesn’t have to be anything intense. The adrenaline you feel as you exercise is enough to improve your outlook and shut off the day. There are some fantastic cardio workouts online that you can follow too.
5. Write in a journal for 10 minutes. You can write fiction or non-fiction. If you are a poet or story writer than take 10 minutes to do that when you first get home. The only thing you can not write about is work. Avoid trying to do problem solving and instead focus on your submission, your goals in life or your hopes for the future. Escape from work onto the page.
Trust me, you can do this. Try one or two of these the next time you come home from work. You will find something that works for you. If you have a different method I’d love to hear it. Just leave me a comment here and share it with everyone. This is a common issue and I admit I don’t have all the answers.
How do you drop your work mindset when you get home?