Depression causing a withdrawal from D/s

Full Question: What can I do when I feel depressed and have the urge to withdraw from my dominant or pretend that I’m okay?

Answer:

Depression is difficult to go through, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. I applaud your efforts to find ways to battle some of the symptoms. I hope that I can help. 

First, I am not a therapist, and if you don’t have a therapist, I suggest you find one, especially if your low mood interferes with your daily life. Getting one-on-one care for your depression can be the best course of action. Many have sliding scales for fees if your insurance doesn’t cover mental health, and you can find kink-aware professionals, also. 

That said, here’s what I suggest while you learn to balance your depression.

  1. Talk to your Dominant. Perhaps give them a signal that you’re feeling low and what to do when you are feeling depressed. 
  2. Pick up a journaling habit. Writing in a journal helps you to communicate how you’re feeling when you aren’t sure how you’re feeling.  WebMD says the benefits of journaling on mental health are reduced anxiety, helps with brooding, creates awareness, regulates emotions, and encourages opening up.
    1. You can share this journal with your Dominant or keep it to yourself. 
  3. Make a self-care routine. Self-care is finding things to do that make you feel good. From enjoying your favorite music, book, or tv show to taking a long hot shower or a nap. If you make a self-care list when you’re feeling more yourself, you can refer to it when you’re feeling blue. 
  4. Recognize when you really aren’t okay. It’s okay not to be okay. Be kind to yourself. Your Dominant probably wants to support you. Try not to push them away. 

Finding your way back out of the darkness isn’t always easy. There are a lot of inner thoughts telling you to stay there, in the void of no comfort and sadness. I hope you find balance and peace.

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