Question: My partner and I are interested in starting a Dom/sub relationship. What are some things we should do beforehand? Answer: Welcome to the great big world of D/s! Creating a power exchange dynamic that suits your relationship will take time and I’m glad you are asking what you should set up before you start. […]
What to Know Before Starting a D/s Relationship Read More »
Full Question: How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Answer: I’m going to assume that you want to know about sexual pleasure and intimacy during your period, even though you don’t say so specifically in your question. All period-having people have asked this question at one time or another, so
How do I please my Dom when I am on my period? Read More »
Question: How can I get my dom to stop buying me butt plugs? I know he loves me wearing them, but I already have close to 20 different ones. I’m not sure what to say as I feel that accepting them is part of the deal. He also buys me practical items for the home,
How can I get my dom to stop buying me butt plugs? Read More »
Full Question: What are the differences between TPE and 24/7? Does it have to be TPE even if it’s 24/7? Answer: That’s a great question! Let’s start with some definitions. TPE, or Total Power Exchange, is a term coined and defined by Steven S. Davis in the mid-1990s, in the newsgroup “alt.sex.bondage” during his debates
What are the differences between TPE and 24/7? Read More »
Full Question: Is it healthy to be addicted to subspace? Answer: The term “addiction” can mean many things to many people. For our purposes, we’ll define addiction as follows: Addiction is the repeated involvement with a substance or activity, despite the substantial harm it now causes, because that involvement was (and may continue to be)
Is it healthy to be addicted to sub space? Read More »
Question: As someone with anxiety, what are some good ways I can try to emotionally regulate myself when having strong feelings, so I don’t have to burden my Dominant with them all the time? Answer: According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), over 40 million people have anxiety in the US. That’s
How can I regulate my anxiety, so I don’t burden my Dominant? Read More »
Question: How do we interact in front of our children (who are young adults) without them thinking I am a sap and He is a jerk? We know what we want, but how do we obtain it? Is there a trick to this lifestyle? I just feel like something is missing that we need to
Is there a trick to this lifestyle? Read More »
Full Question: I am going through a family crisis and went to my Dom saying that I’m feeling weak and don’t think I can handle any hard limits/lessons at this time. He got very upset and said he couldn’t turn his dominance off, and he couldn’t be my Dom till I was stronger…I’m a mess…I
Asked for a break due to a family crisis and my Dom left me Read More »
Question: I am new to submitting. I love it so far but I want some tips on what I can do to please my Daddy Dom, specifically in the bedroom. Any advice is helpful. Answer: “How do I please my partner?” is a very common question asked by just about every submissive at one time
What Can I Do to Please My Partner? Read More »
Question: Is it possible to list the different types of kinks to help the newer ones navigate? Answer: One of the best ways to get a list of kinks is to look for a BDSM checklist. Some of them are dozens of pages long and will list practically every common and some very uncommon kinks
Is it possible to list the different types of kinks to help the newer ones navigate? Read More »
Question: Is it wrong to call a safe word in a punishment I wanted in the first place? Answer: It depends on a lot of factors. First, are we talking about Punishment for a mistake or Funishment for playtime? These two terms get confused a lot, and they can have different interpretations. Once that’s clarified,
Is it wrong to call a safe word in a punishment I wanted in the first place? Read More »
Question: Am I too late to join the BDSM community and find a Dom as I am in my sixties and overweight? Answer: It’s never too late to embrace your sexuality or explore what interests you. People discover BDSM later in life a lot more than we admit. You can’t age out of BDSM. I’ve
Question: Is it appropriate to have an expectation from your Dom that they will tell you if they’ve been intimate with someone else? Answer: The short answer: yes. Absolutely, 100% yes. A relationship, especially a D/s one is built on trust, communication, and honesty. You should not only expect them to tell you when they
Whether you are kinky only in the bedroom or participating in D/s as a lifestyle, developing rituals for your BDSM play is an intimate and powerful way to connect. Using rituals will strengthen your roles, build dynamic scenes, and amplify your playtime to create the ideal atmosphere for BDSM activities. What are Rituals? Rituals used in
How Rituals Can Enhance Your BDSM Scenes Read More »
As a slave, I am responsible for certain activities within the house. I cook, clean, and am otherwise generally responsible for maintaining the household in ways that do not require professional repair. So, while I’m not expected to perform plumbing or electrical work, I might be required to repaint walls or maintain the garden. One
Learn to Accept Your Limitations: A Personal Lesson on Teamwork In The Dynamic Read More »
Through the previous articles in this series, you’ll have learned how to build your personal values and how to let go of your past, including your past mistakes. Learning from failure is a skill that, while difficult, can have longstanding benefits. Many submissives, myself included, get stuck on failure, wear them around our neck with
Solo-Coaching: Learning From Failure – It’s A Good Thing Read More »
Recently, my Master and I listened in on a kink Q&A. I was interested to see what questions people had about kink, especially people seeking guidance. Somewhat surprisingly, most people who tuned in seemed to have questions about relationships more than kink. Many of them were submissives curious about how to look for or embark
Looking for a Dominant Partner? Do This First! How To Perform a Self-Assessment Read More »
My Master and I had the pleasure of attending a Zoom forum recently about kink and related topics. It was a group meeting in which people of all backgrounds—kinky or not—could ask questions and offer insights about the topics that get posted. It was not quite a munch, not quite a workshop, but fun, very
Using Ritual to Maintain and Define Power Exchange Read More »
When it comes to books, as well as bondage, I’m more of a leather-bound girl, myself. So, when my Master decided to start practicing rope bondage, I used this background as my comparison. After a few months of “bonding” over rope bondage, though, I’m pretty convinced it’s a whole different animal. Perhaps there is something
The Time Between Knots: Changing Our Perspectives on Rope Bondage Read More »
While many of us will feel guilty when we need time away from our dominants, there is no question that it is productive and therapeutic. Spending time exclusively with your partner and not getting any personal time alone, especially introverts can be somewhat of a challenge. If you’re stuck in self-isolation, having coping mechanisms to
10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Dynamic in Isolation with Your Dominant Read More »
