I’m of the opinion that there are many slaves who are unowned for one reason: fear of being vulnerable. The way relationships tend to flow in the vanilla world vulnerability isn’t a necessity to maintain the relationship. Usually most are not surrendering to their partners and both tend to rest assured that they are equals […]
Single In The Scene Part VI: Vulnerability Read More »
This is a guest post by Slave Kelly. Paralysis of analysis became a well-known phrase when used by Martin Luther King, Jr., during the Civil Rights Movement. However, this human phenomenon has been documented for centuries. Paralysis of analysis occurs when one over-thinks an issue, or situation, to the point where the ability to act
Paralysis of Analysis: Over-thinking Your Submission Read More »
I was married before my relationship with my Master, KnyghtMare. We fell in love when dating online was still an unusual thing. We courted and dated for years before we got married. Marriage seemed to be the inevitable next step, so we did that too. Our sex life was very much kink-lite. For the most
Broken Vows: When Vanilla Marriage Falls Apart Because of Kink Read More »
I’ve read a half-dozen articles on scattered around the scene that talks about all sorts of methods for keeping your body clean, for dressing to inspire confidence—or tactics to boost confidence without wearing anything at all; I’ve seen articles detailing in methods of hair removal, of after-hair-removal-care, but somehow in the jumble of cyberspace, I
Expressing Your Submission (with hair!) Read More »
We don’t often think about the submissive having anything to teach the Dominant, and in many cases, a Dominant is teaching the submissive. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when the submissive has more experience or learning in an area it does make it easier if the Dominant is open to learning from their partner.
How to Turn Your Submissive Experience Into Education for Your Dominant Read More »
This is the last in my series about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. Up to this point, I have talked about how important communication, honesty, and trust is to a relationship. For this last article, I will be talking about the importance of transparency in relationships. I saved this one for
Keys to a Successful Relationship-Transparency is Like a Brick Wall Read More »
There are times in our life that we seem to be haunted by the relationships in our past. They cling to us like a life form and don’t seem to want us out their grasp. Most of the time, I feel this occurs because we feel that something is left unresolved with it. Perhaps the
What to Do When You Are Haunted by Past Relationships Read More »
Whether you are a hard-core masochist or just a light explorer of sadomasochistic pain play there are always opportunies to experience more, push yourself harder and enhance your pain management techniques. How you learn to do this, and the techniques you employ are unique from submissive to submissive (masochist to masochist) – however there are
How To Manage, Increase and Explore Pain Tolerances in SM Play Read More »
As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, online submission is a bit of a hot-button among D/s practitioners. There are a lot of great arguments for why it doesn’t work, and for each of those, there’s an equally strong counterargument for why it’s a perfectly valid arrangement; but chances are, unless you’re submitting to
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet Read More »
This is the third in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This third article is about the importance of trust and the role it plays in our relationships. Check out the previous articles – It’s All About Communication and Honesty is the Best Policy. I am
Keys to a Successful Relationship: Trust is Like a Mirror… Read More »
I’m here to break the news to you about a piece of misinformation about submissives. Are you ready? You do not have to like pain or be a masochist to be submissive. That’s it. That piece of news right there leads to one of the largest reasons so many of you are confused. You think
Take the Bite Out of Submitting to Pain – Sadomasochism Is Not a Part of Submission Read More »
I don’t know about you, but when I was a child, I didn’t always think it was all that easy. I remember grownups all around me telling me how “easy I had it” and to “just wait until I became an adult” because that’s when life would start getting hard. I would always look at
Daddy-Little Girl Dynamics: It’s Not Easy Being A Little Read More »
To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct
Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships Read More »
This essay was first written and published in the Society of Janus newsletter “Growing Pains.” I hope you enjoy! Pushing boundaries in pain tolerance is a common request for submissives of all flavors. As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I
Learning Better Pain Processing Through Visualization Read More »
There are several very good podcasts online that I enjoy listening to from time to time and I finally pulled together a short list of the ones that I don’t like to miss a single episode. What is a podcast you ask? And there really are adult kink-oriented podcasts? Why yes! A podcast is an
Recommended Podcasts for Kink and Power Exchange Relationships Read More »
This is an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This second article is about the importance that honesty plays in our relationships. The first one is It’s All About Communication I remember growing up, I always heard from the adults around me that honesty was
Keys to a Successful Relationship – Honesty is Really the Best Policy Read More »
You are a bedroom submissive. You may only submit only in the bedroom, or on weekends or for only set time periods. So having rituals seems foreign to you, right? Maybe. They aren’t meant for you, right? Wrong. If you’ve ever thought that ritual and meditation was for full-time submissives only or those in committed
Enhance Your Sex and BDSM Play with Rituals in the Bedroom Read More »
This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen on this site and in the BDSM community. Mr. Samsonite. Every group has one; you know, the guy who can’t show up to the play party without enough luggage to go on a two-week European tour? He
What is Primal Play? Read More »
This is kinda pithy, so please hang in there! In this series thus far, I’ve done my absolute best to keep it positive. Maybe in some ways, I’ve managed to gloss over the ‘truth of singlehood’ of a slave, which in a way slightly misses the mark of my desire which is to help those
Single in the Scene Part V: The Truth about Singlehood Read More »
Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point, after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is
Male submission – Financial Domination Read More »
