This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can […]
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible
Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I was in an intense, committed relationship for four years. This relationship had bdsm elements and I am realizing while reading articles on your SubGuide site that it was indeed a bdsm relationship. In addition to our romantic relationship, we also worked together however we lived separately. During our relationship, there were power struggles resulting in
Should I Contact My Deceased Partner’s Secret Submissive? Read More »
There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship Read More »
Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which
DIY: Knife & Blood Play Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. With great
Sub Drop Madness – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
This is a guest post by rife. Hi this is rife, Sinclair’s boy. Maybe you’ve read dirty things about me, but that’s not the whole story. So what am I up to when not bent over? Well … I love erotica and porn as much as anyone (honest!), but often when people describe it, we get
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Rife Read More »
For those of you who are avid Red Phoneix fans, she’s at it again. She’s currently working on the third installment of the Brie series, Submissive in Love. While I was reading the second novella, Brie’s Denver Desires, a passage at the end of the book grabbed my attention and wouldn’t let go. “Sir, you’re
Reciprocity: Expectations of Transparency of the Dominant Read More »
Mollena Williams, a well-known and respected speaker, educator, and Ms. Leather 2010, has inspired my submission more than she will probably ever know. One of my favorite messages she conveys is that the submissive’s prime directive (affiliate link) is to take care of the property. The meaning can apply to many things in a submissive’s journey, but
A Submissive’s Prime Directive: Take Care of the Property Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Fetish. An object of extreme or irrational reverence or devotion. The often pathological displacement of erotic or libidinal interest sufficient to stimulate actions of worship. Often regarded as a fixation of the mind
What is a Fetish? Read More »
“Subbie Siblings – we either love or hate this phrase. While the lifestyle is unique to each of us, do we have things in common that set us aside from other women? Do we naturally form a close bond and a willingness to help, or are we just here selfishly to get what we can
Q&A: Subbie Siblings Read More »
It’s often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven’t seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I
How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships Read More »
The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it. After hearing so much about love, the newcomer may end up a bit confused. After all, in the vanilla world, especially in Western culture, love is a really big deal.
Finding Love in the D/s Lifestyle Read More »
“Oh yeah, that feels good, right here. Spank me there! Harder! No, not like that. Make it sting! Oh oh ouchie, back off a bit man!” For some of you, that stream of words is cringe-worthy. Who’s driving the scene if the bottom is assaulting the Top with all the direction? A submissive driving the
How to Be Responsive During Play Without Being Demanding Read More »
I have a very important question that I need your opinion on. I have been to your web page many times and appreciate your writing and knowledge. I recently found out that my husband of many years had been having a BDSM relationship outside of our marriage, secretly. We had been talking about BDSM ourselves
He Wants to Add His Once Secret Submissive to Our Relationship? Read More »
We all knew that the Fifty Shades of Grey movie would bring about a conversation regarding BDSM, non-vanilla relationships, and the nature of consent between adult sexual partners. I read an article discussing the “impact” of the film, and it got me thinking. In the interests of full disclosure, I will tell you that I have read
Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media’s Representation of Kink Read More »
Every Monday in March I’m going to try something new and I’d love your opinion in the comments below. If you like the idea I might continue them on a regular (although not every Monday) schedule. I’m devoting Monday’s to meditation, reflection, and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking
The Value of Submission – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
Do you know how to describe the qualities of a Dominant? What about a jerk? I bet you can describe a jerk a lot faster than a Dominant. Am I right? Have you ever encountered a jerk that identifies as a Dominant but is anything but? It’s common, unfortunately. There are people who like to
How to Tell If You Are With a Dominant or Just a Bossy Dick Read More »
In the last month or so I have begun to seek a mentor and have been approached about being a mentor myself, a position which I accepted. As these events unfolded, I experienced a lot of flak from the online community – why would a submissive need a mentor if she already has a Dom?
A Mentoring Checklist: What to Expect in a Mentor Read More »
