Not everyone naturally enjoys pain, yet for many people pain becomes erotic within consensual BDSM play. This article explores how sensation, mindset, trust, and emotional context can transform pain into pleasure, helping readers better understand their own responses while emphasizing consent, communication, and personal boundaries.
But I Don’t Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure Read More »
When a partner no longer wants to be dominant, it can shake the foundation of a D/s relationship. This article explores how communication, emotional honesty, and flexibility helped navigate a major identity shift, offering insight into adapting dynamics while honoring both partners’ evolving needs.
The Fifty Shades of Grey series introduced millions of people to BDSM, but it also created misconceptions and sparked important conversations. This article explores how the books and films influenced public perception, community growth, and education, examining both the positive opportunities and the lasting challenges they created.
How The 50 Shades of Grey Series and Movie Have Impacted the BDSM Lifestyle Read More »
Starting your BDSM journey can feel overwhelming when you don’t know which information to trust. This article introduces reliable resources for beginners, including books, websites, communities, and educational opportunities, helping new kinksters build knowledge safely while avoiding common misconceptions and unreliable advice.
I’m New to BDSM, Where Do I Find Information? Read More »
Every mentor leaves behind lessons worth preserving. This reflective article explores the importance of passing on BDSM knowledge, honoring those who shaped our journeys, and recognizing that every experience—good or bad—can become wisdom that helps strengthen the next generation of the kink community.
Lost Wisdom – Submissive Mediation Monday Read More »
This guest article by Mistress Steel explores 24/7 D/s relationships through the lens of tradition, history, trust, and long-term commitment. Though some ideas may feel dated, it offers a valuable snapshot of earlier BDSM thought and invites readers to reflect on how knowledge and expectations have evolved.
Grappling with Tradition and History to Define 24/7 Long Term D/s Relationships Read More »
Most of us in the BDSM or D/s lifestyle love our toys. Some of us have chests, trunks and even entire rooms dedicated to our tools and toys. I know that KnyghtMare and I have lots of toys and the space they take up keeps growing with each new purchase. Making sure they are clean
Tips for Taking Care of Your BDSM and Sex Toys Read More »
I sign up for a lot of emails. I get four to five daily recipes newsletters as well as several ebooks bargains of the day, daily quotes, and an occasional blog here and there. The other thing I sign up for is called The Daily OM. It’s a daily email newsletter with a message that
Finding Your Tribe-The Importance of the Kink Community Read More »
This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible
Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I was in an intense, committed relationship for four years. This relationship had bdsm elements and I am realizing while reading articles on your SubGuide site that it was indeed a bdsm relationship. In addition to our romantic relationship, we also worked together however we lived separately. During our relationship, there were power struggles resulting in
Should I Contact My Deceased Partner’s Secret Submissive? Read More »
There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship Read More »
Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which
DIY: Knife & Blood Play Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. With great
Sub Drop Madness – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
This is a guest post by rife. Hi this is rife, Sinclair’s boy. Maybe you’ve read dirty things about me, but that’s not the whole story. So what am I up to when not bent over? Well … I love erotica and porn as much as anyone (honest!), but often when people describe it, we get
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Rife Read More »
For those of you who are avid Red Phoneix fans, she’s at it again. She’s currently working on the third installment of the Brie series, Submissive in Love. While I was reading the second novella, Brie’s Denver Desires, a passage at the end of the book grabbed my attention and wouldn’t let go. “Sir, you’re
Reciprocity: Expectations of Transparency of the Dominant Read More »
Mollena Williams, a well-known and respected speaker, educator, and Ms. Leather 2010, has inspired my submission more than she will probably ever know. One of my favorite messages she conveys is that the submissive’s prime directive (affiliate link) is to take care of the property. The meaning can apply to many things in a submissive’s journey, but
A Submissive’s Prime Directive: Take Care of the Property Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Fetish. An object of extreme or irrational reverence or devotion. The often pathological displacement of erotic or libidinal interest sufficient to stimulate actions of worship. Often regarded as a fixation of the mind
“Subbie Siblings – we either love or hate this phrase. While the lifestyle is unique to each of us, do we have things in common that set us aside from other women? Do we naturally form a close bond and a willingness to help, or are we just here selfishly to get what we can
Q&A: Subbie Siblings Read More »
