Many submissives struggle with feelings of guilt or frustration when they believe they are always doing something wrong. This reflective meditation invites readers to explore those emotions with compassion, helping them understand patterns, release shame, and reconnect with submission from a place of awareness, growth, and self-acceptance rather than fear.
Always Getting in Trouble – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
Caregiver/little dynamics are often misunderstood within and outside the kink community. This article explores common misconceptions about these relationships, clarifying emotional roles, consent, and structure while helping readers distinguish between healthy caregiver/little dynamics and inaccurate stereotypes.
Some Misconceptions about the Caregiver/Little Dynamic Read More »
Coming out as kinky is a deeply personal decision that carries emotional, relational, and sometimes professional implications. This article explores important considerations before disclosing your kink identity, helping readers weigh privacy, safety, and authenticity with intention rather than pressure or impulse.
Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought Read More »
Many submissives struggle with the idea of being a “good” submissive and measuring up to unspoken standards. This article explores the mythology surrounding the ideal submissive, challenging perfectionism and encouraging readers to redefine submission in ways that are authentic, intentional, and grounded in healthy self-awareness.
Submissive Mythology: The Good Submissive Read More »
Long-distance BDSM relationships require intentional connection, communication, and emotional presence. This article explores the slow, evolving dance of maintaining intimacy and power exchange across distance, offering insight into trust-building, emotional closeness, and the unique rhythms that develop when partners can’t be physically together.
Two Bodies Revolving Around a Core: The Slow Dance of a BDSM Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
Many submissives worry that their sexual needs should come second in a D/s relationship. This article explores why fulfillment, communication, and mutual care are essential parts of healthy power exchange, helping readers understand that submission does not mean ignoring desire, boundaries, or emotional well-being.
Feeling Unfulfilled: Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
Not everyone naturally enjoys pain, yet for many people pain becomes erotic within consensual BDSM play. This article explores how sensation, mindset, trust, and emotional context can transform pain into pleasure, helping readers better understand their own responses while emphasizing consent, communication, and personal boundaries.
But I Don’t Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure Read More »
When a partner no longer wants to be dominant, it can shake the foundation of a D/s relationship. This article explores how communication, emotional honesty, and flexibility helped navigate a major identity shift, offering insight into adapting dynamics while honoring both partners’ evolving needs.
I had, for the longest time, an opinion that I was not going to write about or mention the “50 Shades of Grey” series on this site. I’ve never read them and have no desire to see the movie, but I have read countless reviews and read-alongs from others in the community and the media to make
How The 50 Shades of Grey Series and Movie Have Impacted the BDSM Lifestyle Read More »
Me and my boy friend have recently become interested in a D/s relationship I want more information but I’m not sure where to look. Knowing where to start can be difficult when you don’t know a whole lot about BDSM. You have at least taken a good first step by encountering Submissive Guide and there
I’m New to BDSM, Where Do I Find Information? Read More »
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. I lost
Lost Wisdom – Submissive Mediation Monday Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. _Disclaimer: This article is over 15 years old and some of the thoughts may feel antiquated. It is shared here to expand your view and see the growth of knowledge over time. _
Grappling with Tradition and History to Define 24/7 Long Term D/s Relationships Read More »
Most of us in the BDSM or D/s lifestyle love our toys. Some of us have chests, trunks and even entire rooms dedicated to our tools and toys. I know that KnyghtMare and I have lots of toys and the space they take up keeps growing with each new purchase. Making sure they are clean
Tips for Taking Care of Your BDSM and Sex Toys Read More »
I sign up for a lot of emails. I get four to five daily recipes newsletters as well as several ebooks bargains of the day, daily quotes, and an occasional blog here and there. The other thing I sign up for is called The Daily OM. It’s a daily email newsletter with a message that
Finding Your Tribe-The Importance of the Kink Community Read More »
This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible
Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I was in an intense, committed relationship for four years. This relationship had bdsm elements and I am realizing while reading articles on your SubGuide site that it was indeed a bdsm relationship. In addition to our romantic relationship, we also worked together however we lived separately. During our relationship, there were power struggles resulting in
Should I Contact My Deceased Partner’s Secret Submissive? Read More »
There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship Read More »
Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which
DIY: Knife & Blood Play Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
