This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission.
Terms: Propositions, limitations or provisions stated or offered for the acceptance of another and determining the nature, scope, and conditions of the agreement.
The ONE TRUE WAY: All submissives are created as equal or the nature of expressed submission as being of one form to the exclusion or discarding of any variations or diversity within the nature of that expression.
We can in general terms identify what we consider to be actions and expressions of submission. There are those to whom the refinement of this identification takes on a form of importance as they seek to ‘include’ or ‘exclude’ other individuals from this identification or role as seen or determined by what they believe is the ‘ONE TRUE WAY.’ This ‘narrowing’ is a way to establish rules and boundaries which can be then levied by weight of ‘common agreement’ upon those who fall outside of this constantly narrowing identification. This becomes an exclusionary tactic which is often used to ‘control’ or discriminate against others. This is the same societal structure which has been summarily vacated by those seeking to discover this separate understanding of themselves. In the establishment of a new ‘societal structure,’ the first ‘action’ is to identify who belongs, where they belong and the creation of handles to control or manage that structure. This becomes the dictating of policy, ideology, rules, limits, conditions, scope and provisions. We tend to do what we know.
It is important to remember that policies which exclude others discriminate, inevitably limiting diversity. The need to find a distinct position or place within a new community is an action of immaturity most often driven by sensations of vulnerability and fear.
As individuals, each being is unique with their viewpoint, personal limitations, and provisions within any interactive agreement. An offering of submission lies entirely within the distinct and separate relationship envelope of the submissive and that which they are submitting. Please note that each person can submit to ideas, concepts, thoughts, and desires as well as to any individual or organization of their choice. The nature of that submission need not be agreeable to anyone outside of that submission, nor should the terms so negotiated and agreed to be subjected to summary judgment by others who consider the ‘measure’ of submission unacceptable or not within what ‘they’ consider to be ‘proper’ to the term.
Imposition of rules, protocol, and behavior upon others is a way to ‘exchange places’ with societal censorship allowing the behavior of the individual to be lauded reestablishing a structure of ‘superior’ and ‘inferior.’ When more rules are established and executed as governable, the greater the reduction in personal freedom, creativity, and expression. It is with great care that the BDSM and other aligned alternative communities set forth the basic tenets of minimum behavior within the interaction of people exploring these lifestyles. Those tenants are the safety of each human being (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual), the protection of sanity through actions and deeds of human upon a human to willfully protect the stability of the adult to develop and retain mental health. A reduction in mental health limits the ability to formulate rational voluntary consent which leads to the third and final tenant which is ‘informed consent’ between legal age adults. These alone are the ‘rules’ of conduct which apply to everyone involved. We like to include further rules, ideas, and concepts as being ‘part of’ these groups but must recognize that as we create ‘new layers’ of rules that we are in fact offering our subjective opinions on the ‘behavior’ choices of other consensual adults. We would dislike having these same subjective opinions leveled against us as viewpoints change so we must continue to guard ourselves against the trappings of ‘hardening labels’.
A submissive is he or she whom states, thinks or otherwise believes themselves to be submissive. This state is not subject to the external measurement or judgment of others for relative worth or value. In the exploration of the self the individual should determine what is their personal truth beyond and before how that truth might be viewed by anyone else. In grasping the truth within, the individual can then express their nature as it is true for themselves alone. It becomes essential to remember that outside or external ‘measure’ is a function of the person judging or measuring and has nothing to do with the essence of the individual being so measured or judged. Negative evaluation or judgment of others is an expression of negativity from within and may reflect the internal state of the person so judging and have no ‘reality’ toward that which they levy their judgment.
The ‘ONE TRUE WAY’ is your way. It is true for you and you alone.
Written by F.R.R. Mallory – also known as Mistress Steel. This article may be excerpted from Extreme Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook, Safe, Sane and Consensual, Dangerous Choices or other books by F.R.R. Mallory and shared here with her permission. Please click on the book title for information on how you can order a copy of these books and others by F.R.R. Mallory.