Full Question:
What personality traits can I look for in a person to know if they are or could be Dominant?
Answer:
When you are looking for a Dominant to be in a power exchange relationship, you may wonder if there is a radar of some sort that will help you recognize them “out in the wild.” The answer has more nuance than you may realize.
How can you tell someone has a dominant personality?
PsychCentral defines a dominant personality as:
a personality type that often leads themselves and others into action. It’s primarily defined by an overarching motivation for power and a sense of pride.
This doesn’t mean dominant personalities are always eager to obtain power or behave like tyrants. Instead, it may mean some of them can behave in persistent ways:
- confident
- assertive
- unrelenting
But having a dominant personality still doesn’t mean they want to have a power exchange relationship or be in control of their relationship with BDSM. And that’s why you can’t assume you’ve found a Dominant just because someone has a dominant personality. I know many submissives who would identify as dominant personalities, just as there are Dominants who don’t exhibit a dominant personality.
The desire to be in a power exchange relationship may correlate to someone’s personality type, but not always. So how do you know what to look for in a person to know if they are Dominant?
Ask them. Talk to them about kink and power exchange. It’s never a good idea to assume you know what someone wants or needs just by how they behave in public or private. I know that feels scary because that is putting yourself out there and potentially vulnerable. But, finding that person in your life to be in charge means you must communicate with them and find out what they want out of a relationship, too.