Luna Carruthers, founder of Submissive Guide

The Wild Side of BDSM: How to Safely Incorporate Outdoor Play into Your Kink

By Luna Carruthers / 9 minutes of reading

Exploring BDSM can be an exciting and fulfilling way to expand your sexual horizons, and outdoor BDSM play can provide a unique and exhilarating experience for those interested in pushing their boundaries beyond the confines of a traditional indoor setting. However, engaging in BDSM activities in the great outdoors also comes with its own set […]

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What is a Day Collar? Do you have one?

By Luna Carruthers / 1 minute of reading

Full Question: What is a Day Collar? Do you have one? Could you share a picture? Answer: When people talk about Day Collars, they mean a collar that doesn’t look like an obvious leather BDSM collar. Generally, it is discreet in appearance, often passing for conventional jewelry. Some professions have wardrobe or safety rules regarding

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How Can I Satisfy My Need to Submit Without a Dominant?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant? Answer: It takes some thought, that’s for sure. I suggest you start with a personal protocol. A personal protocol is a set of rules with a punishment/reward system that any submissive can use to help improve themselves

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Do Dominants normally celebrate their submissive’s birthday?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Do dominants normally celebrate their sub’s birthday? Answer: Whenever I get asked about what is normal, I’m reminded of a quote from Tori Spelling, “Everybody knows there’s no such thing as normal. There is no black-and-white definition of normal. Normal is subjective.” So, do Dominants celebrate their sub’s birthday? Yes. Or no. It

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How do you know when it’s time to move on from a relationship?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: How do you know when it’s time to move on from a relationship? Answer: If you’re asking this question, it’s likely time. No one happy in their relationship asks them if they should leave the relationship. We pour a lot into our relationships. Here are four signs that it may be time to

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How do you keep in mindset of slave while working?

By Luna Carruthers / 3 minutes of reading

Full Question: Master and I both work outside the home. How does one keep the mindset of a slave while working and keep communication open? Answer: You may not like this answer, but you can’t keep it continuously. Have you ever seen a cartoon where a person is trying to balance a bunch of different

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Anal Training 101: From Hesitation to Penetration

By Luna Carruthers / 11 minutes of reading

If the idea of putting something in your butt or enjoying anal sex makes you hesitate, you aren’t alone. Even though anal sex has made huge steps toward acceptance, it remains an underrated, almost taboo activity. Exploring anal training is often filled with discomfort, both mental and physical, but despite what porn or movies would

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Advice for therapists who work with bdsm clients?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Advice for therapists who work with BDSM clients? Answer: I’d be happy to provide my thoughts on improving therapy for BDSM persons seeking therapy. First, it’s always hard for us to open up about these things, and we’ve been told to keep it a secret for a long time. We may need a

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How does one discern if a Dom is abusive?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: How does one discern if a Dom is abusive? Answer: Dominants and submissives can be abusive to their partners. We’re going to focus on Dominants for this question, but if you are Dominant or in an egalitarian relationship, the following questions can help you discern abuse also. The core of BDSM is consent,

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Depression causing a withdrawal from D/s

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: What can I do when I feel depressed and have the urge to withdraw from my dominant or pretend that I’m okay? Answer: Depression is difficult to go through, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. I applaud your efforts to find ways to battle some of the symptoms. I hope that I

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How can I help my girlfriend get interested in BDSM?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Hello, I’m just confused that my girlfriend is not so into BDSM things. How can I help her get interested? Answer: This is a common situation that does not have an easy answer. It is important because it is not sufficient for many of us to bury our desires and needs for BDSM.

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How long does it take to build a D/s Relationship?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: I have started to converse with a D that interests me. Now before I get swept up in the feels of being a sub, I want to make sure I am checking the right boxes. What am I looking for in terms of time to build the d/s relationship? Obviously, this will

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How do I stop my Dom being mad at me?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: I did something, and my Master was angry. Yes, I have apologized to Him, and He has already punished me for it, but I still feel that He is upset with me. He avoids having full conversations with me, and whenever I ask Him if He is still mad, He says He is

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My partner isn’t attracted to me, what do I do?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: I’m a submissive who’s dominant and won’t tie me up. He never wants to have sex with me. I love him, but I’m so unhappy When it comes to our sex life. He isn’t attracted to me. I lived with him for 3 months & he tied me up once & barely did

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How do I relax and orgasm for my Dom?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: It’s hard for me to let go and orgasm when I’m with him because he makes me nervous. But he makes me nervous in a good way! Do you have any advice for this? Answer: Feeling overwhelmingly nervous during sex will impact your ability to relax and let go. A million different factors

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Am I a Sub or a Baby Girl?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Luna…I am so very confused. I know I am submissive, but lately, I have been questioning if I am a sub or a baby girl. I don’t know exactly how to differentiate between the two, as the lines are kind of blurry for Daddy Doms. Help? Answer: Labels are confusing. They often have

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When looking for a Dominant, how do you know they are the one?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: I recently met a Dominant who is amazing and “seems” to be exactly what I have been looking for, but I’m afraid that he is too good to be true. When looking for a new Dominant, how do I know that he could be my next Master? Answer: Relationships are hard work. Once

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How do you set sensible boundaries when you’re a new sub?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: My question revolves around the idea of being a new sub and wanting desperately to act it out with almost anyone who will play the Domme. It’s a kind of frenzy. But as you grow into the role, how do you set sensible boundaries and have a code of honor and values so

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How do I speak to my master about formal etiquette training?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: How do I speak to my master about formal etiquette training? I am a collared slave, and I would like there to be a high protocol for days we plan intense scenes.. just so that I can get in the right head space. I don’t want to be pushy, but I crave that

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How can I get back in little headspace after being pissed off at Daddy?

By Luna Carruthers / 3 minutes of reading

Full Question: In a 24/7 Daddy/little dynamic with my husband. How can I get back in little headspace after being pissed off at Daddy? Answer: It’s difficult to return to any D/s role after a moment of anger. You are likely emotionally charged, and perhaps you still feel pains of anger, frustration, or sadness. Turning

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