1. What’s a subbie to do when, for whatever reason, he or she cannot get away? What about the use of corporal discipline to help put the sub in his or her place? Sure there will always be times when a submissive is not able to get away to refocus for a number of reasons. […]
When You Can’t Get Away: Follow Up to Submissive PMS Read More »
Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have
Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse Read More »
Accepting an invitation to visit friends that are into BDSM or the lifestyle can lead to a wonderful experience and the development of close friends. That is if you keep yourself aware of house rules and relationship dynamics. Generally speaking, a couple of D/s friends are not going to drop their dynamic around you since
Know Your Manners when Visiting D/s Friends Read More »
Part of the typical criticism of D/s full-time is that it can’t be real. No one can live 24/7 D/s. I hear it a lot. These people say that life gets in the way and you can’t be Dominant and submissive all the time. The people that say they can’t lead a 24/7 life always
Accepting 24/7 D/s as a Real Relationship Style Read More »
Exploring submission play can involve intense sensation. As a normal part of some submissive’s play is sub space. Not everyone reaches subspace each and every time and you can not expect to reach it at all. Sub space is a way your body responds to endorphins. Described as similar to a runner’s high this is
Sub Space: The Ultimate Frontier for BDSM Play Read More »
When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and need to be trained. Most of these novices then seek out a Master or Dominant to train them. This concept that the Dominant can teach the submissive more about surrender is a
Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission Read More »
There is no way to be sure but, the large majority of information about the D/s lifestyle is in fiction form. While it’s nice to escape into emotional and physical stories, they are fantasy. For submissives looking to get their feet wet, these stories could hinder or harm the very ideas that develop in the
Do You Answer When Submission Calls You? Read More »
The idea of orgasm control or orgasm denial often strikes fears in novice submissives. “What do you mean I give over my ability to orgasm whenever I want?” Sure, you could think of it that way, but in terms of your submission, it could mean so much more. It could be an intense connection with
The Truth About Orgasm Control and Denial Read More »
When you’re a brand new BDSM submissive, it can be hard to find information to answer the many questions in your mind. To help you, I’ve gathered seven of the best books to help get you started on your exploration of BDSM and the submissive role. These books offer a range of opinions and viewpoints
Seven Books I Recommend for Novice Submissives Read More »
This week’s video post is about maintenance spankings. Maintenance spankings are a way to keep the relationship fresh, revive the roles on a regular basis and to not let life away from the dynamic interfere with what your relationship goals are. A maintenance spanking can be anything from a scheduled night of the week where
Maintenance Spankings – Why Do It? Read More »
Approaching your friends with something as private and sensitive as your sexual interests or lifestyle ideas may be a decision you have to make sooner or later the further you get into your kinky habits. Your friends are your support system in all other ways of your life, but are they able to handle the
Should You Tell Your Friends about Your Kinky Interests? Read More »
Getting in trouble. We’ve all been there a time or two. It comes with learning and training new things as well as changing behaviors. Our Dominants generally don’t derive any pleasure out of punishing us and the guilt we put on ourselves can be more damaging than the misdeed in the first place. Allowing that the punishment
Carte Blanche – Repeating Misbehavior Patterns Read More »
I’m a masochist and get sexual pleasure from pain; that’s wired into me. I’m also submissive. It’s who I am. For me, these two things go together. It’s not always the case. A huge misunderstanding is that you have to like pain to be submissive. Masochism is a part of your sexual identity; you either
Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive? Read More »
Each social situation we expose ourselves to has its own set of rules and behaviors. This is also true of BDSM events, perhaps even moreso. A play party will have different rules at each location you may attend one. There will be established rules as well as house/location rules. There are also unspoken rules that
Don’t Embarrass Yourself: Learn the Etiquette for Play Parties Before You Go Read More »
The world is full of false truths. These false truths tend to be the assumptions of the uninformed or the beliefs of those who want to scare novices out of their wits. Many of these are because of a narrow view of the world or an inability to accept varying viewpoints. In this post, I’m
All Female Submissives are Bisexual and Other BDSM Myths Read More »
You have followed the whole series of Submissive Positions posts here at Submissive Guide. If not, start back at the beginning, I’ll wait for you here. Are you back? Ready to show them off? Today’s post is all about you! I want to see what you came up with for positions that worked best for you.
2 Weeks to Better Submissive Positions – Day 14: Show Off Your Positions! Read More »
Reading the past posts on the Submissive positions project may bring some of you to the realization that you can’t perform these poses for health or body size reasons. This is to be expected. I can’t kneel back on my heels at all. So what is a good submissive to do? You alter the positions
2 Weeks to Better Submissive Positions – Day 13: Customizing and Altering Positions Read More »
Just 2 days left in the Submissive Positions project here at Submissive Guide. If you need a review, please take a look at the primary post; it has links to all of the posts in the project. Today I’d like to talk about the bane of many a submissive; fidgeting. Sitting still is really hard for
Today’s task is to learn an appropriate pose to take when apologizing for wrong-doing. If you need to review the past posts in this series, please take a look at the leading post. This position is hopefully something you don’t have to do often but since we are all human, it is going to happen. I’ve
2 Weeks to Better Submissive Positions – Day 11: Apologizing with Submissive Positions Read More »
Nearing the end of our 2 Weeks to Better Submissive Positions here at Submissive Guide. Today we are going to learn positions of worship. There will be moments in your submission that a feeling wells up inside of you to show your devotion and respect to your Dominant. You may also be asked to show your obedience
