It can be terrifying approaching a Dominant and asking them to play with you. The butterflies in your belly can make it very difficult to take that first step. It can be even worse if you two don’t negotiate the scene to get what you want out of it, and they do too. Negotiating a
The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene Read More »
Competition is human nature. From the time we are children we start to see who is ‘better’ and hopefully, that is you. It could be as simple as having more ice cream than your sibling thus making you better or getting the best grade on a test, making you better than everyone else in the
My Submission is Better Than Your Submission: Advice About Competition Read More »
A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even the most experienced players continue to check in with their partners during play; it is a good practice to have. Whether you are playing with your partner or
How to Use Playtime Check Ins Wisely Read More »
Since the beginning of Submissive Guide, I have been writing essays to help you build your service/submissive/slave resume. This is the living document of your experience and training on different tasks and a variety of relationships. If you are interested in reading the previous posts about the Training Resume I suggest you start at the topic
Add Your Favorite BDSM Books Reading List to Your Submissive Training Resume Read More »
Each and every day there is the chance to screw up and be disobedient. Luckily, most of us won’t break rules every single day but when we do we know that punishment will come swiftly and precisely. That is unless you are an online submissive. Then there are a few other steps to having punishment
A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment Read More »
We all have those little voices in our head that tell us what to do. Sometimes it tries to convince us that our disobedience is okay. The voices are very convincing at times and then we have guilt riding with us until we come clean. Perhaps you’ve heard these voices yourself: “Come on, he won’t see me
Coming Clean: Admitting Your Disobedience Read More »
I’m personally not a domestic person. When I do find the desire to clean it’s normally to relieve stress (believe it or not). It can help calm my nerves and give my mind something else to do while working on the house. Since I’ve become Master’s stay at home submissive I find I need to
Finding Domesticity In You Read More »
We all have responsibilities in life. The family needs to be taken care of and fed, you have to work, pay the bills and keep the home repaired. Kids have to be cared for and carted around from games to classes to other outings. There are days you feel that there aren’t enough hours in
Juggling Daily Life and Submission Read More »
“It’s so hard to find someone in the Lifestyle that I’m compatible with. You are so lucky to have found someone.” I don’t know how many times I hear this on a daily basis when conversing. It always brings up my view on the whole dating atmosphere within the Lifestyle. Yes, it is hard to find
Dating in the Lifestyle – What’s the Big Deal? Read More »
Those of you who read my blog already know this, but for most of you, this will be news. I have an addiction. At the end of last month, I came to the realization that I am a binge eater and secret eater. I’m addicted to food and the way it makes me feel. While
Handling an Eating Disorder While in Service to a Dominant Read More »
The following is a compilation of the most purchased BDSM-related books on Amazon – by our community. They are organized by the number purchased through affiliate links in the past year. *All links are affiliate links. Help support Submissive Guide by purchasing at Amazon through these links!
The Most Popular and Favorite Books on BDSM – According to Our Readers Read More »
Types of submissives come in as many varieties as wines; there is one for every palette and preference. When someone tells you that you are submissive and you finally admit to yourself that you are submissive, which can be a journey itself, you can figure out how your submission differs from another by what type
The Many Faces of Submission Read More »
Places to buy a collar are numerous. Each relationship has a different idea of what the collar should look like. If you’d like to explore collars and collaring check out the series I have on the subject! Collars and Collaring Listed below are a few of the many places you can go online to shop
Where to Buy a BDSM Collar Online Read More »
“Go to your room!” Yes, even adults in power exchange relationships get treated like children sometimes. A common tool for Dominants in their punishment arsenal is removal. You can be removed from the activity and sent to a time out area. For me, that’s the kitchen. Ugh. I hate when I’m banished there. I can
Banishment as a Form of Punishment: How Do You Cope? Read More »
This may seem like a really odd topic to be posting in a submissive blog, but there is a reason. I’ve had a question recently from a submissive woman who has been asked on occasion to be assertive and dominant in bed by her Dominant. She says she can’t connect with that because she is
5 Ways to Bring Out Your Dominance In Bed Read More »
When you first start talking to a potential Dominant you go through an initial interview. A lot of times this is just a period where basic questions are asked and your answers help the Dominant gauge just how interested you are in them, how compatible you are with them and what your intelligence level is.
How to Give Good Initial Submissive Interviews for a D/s Relationship Read More »
When you discover that you might be kinky there are a lot of questions surrounding how to accept that. One of those may be trying to explore that kink with your existing partner. But how do you bring up the subject and how do you handle what they may say about the ideas you are
Simple Steps to Introduce Kink into an Existing Relationship Read More »
A BDSM collar is a piece of jewelry with a secret meaning. A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually guarded and protected with their heart. There is a lot of information online about collars already but I thought I’d jump in with my
A Complete Guide to BDSM Collars Read More »
1. What’s a subbie to do when, for whatever reason, he or she cannot get away? What about the use of corporal discipline to help put the sub in his or her place? Sure there will always be times when a submissive is not able to get away to refocus for a number of reasons.
When You Can’t Get Away: Follow Up to Submissive PMS Read More »
Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have
Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse Read More »
