Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is […]
The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM Read More »
Your first scene with your Dominant is coming up and so far they’ve been pretty foggy as far as what will happen. You’ve never been involved in BDSM before but you are excited and scared for the upcoming session. What’s going to happen? What will you expect to see and do? A scene is in
The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens? Read More »
Wants and needs. As novice submissives, we hear this phrase over and over. Make sure you know your wants and needs. Does this person or that person fulfill your wants and needs? How should we talk about our wants and needs with someone? First, let’s define them. Need: Something that is not negotiable for a
Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important as a Novice Submissive Read More »
When you are a single submissive it can feel like a lonely place. Every kinky place you go it seems like everyone is already in a relationship and there is no room for you. But that’s not true; being a single submissive can be a special time in your exploration and development. When you walk
Being a Single Submissive in a Couple’s World Read More »
I’ve written on the site about how you can work with the partner you have to bring out their Dominance or feel submissive in a subtle way and because of that, I have received a lot of messages of frustrated people trying to make their partner dominate them. The scenario seems to be the same, their partner
You Can Not Make Someone Be a Dominant Read More »
Here’s a scenario I get presented to me a lot in my email and pleas for help and advice: A submissive talks to a person identifying as Dominant online for a few hours, days or weeks. They have intimate talks, compatibility seems to be through the roof and the cyber sex and play, webcams or
Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time Read More »
I thought I’d tell you a personal story of how my life as a slave is developing in a unique and interesting way. It’s never been just KnyghtMare’s job to come up with ways to enhance and spice up our already powerful relationship and he loves to hear of things that I come up with.
A Slave Uniform – What’s It Look Like? Read More »
Weeding through the number of messages in your inbox asking to get to know you better is a daunting task to most single people, and being submissive looking for a Dominant is no different. Well, perhaps it’s a little different. The compatibility that you are looking for as a submissive is more specific and challenging.
Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For? Read More »
The other day I read a post on a forum where a new submissive had asked if there was a reason she was turned down from a Dominant who said she was too eager. She wanted to know why eagerness was seen as a detriment to a new relationship when all she wanted to do
How Being Too Eager Is Not Always a Good Thing for a Submissive Read More »
When a novice submissive first learn about BDSM or D/s power exchange it can be a scary place. The first thing I like to help these novices learn is about safety mantras, particularly the widely accepted Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC. What is SSC? It’s a credo that people in the BDSM community use
Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC) Read More »
Just because a person also loves having sex while rolling in jello does not mean they are compatible with you. That’s right, I just said it. You’ve searched the world over for someone interested in the same kinky things you are and when you found one, I’m telling you to hold it right there a
A Person is Not Their Kink: Jumping Into Bed With the Wrong Person Read More »
When we learn about pain processing in relation to play and scenes with our sadist partner it’s always a good idea to understand negative processing methods. The things that make handling pain and enjoying longer sessions harder and sometimes impossible. Hopefully, you’ve learned about your own negative methods in the previous video. Today we’ll talk
Learning About Positive Pain Processing Methods Read More »
You’re sitting at your computer (or tablet, or phone) right now and have wondered for some time about going to a BDSM munch or a party or convention but are afraid that you don’t fit into the image you have in your head of who really is into BDSM. You’ve seen the porn on Kink.com
You Don’t Have to Be a Porn Star or Fashion Model to Participate in BDSM Read More »
Whenever I frequent online groups, a common theme in them is telling the person asking a question to not be a doormat. Rarely do we ever get a description of what a doormat submissive is or how to prevent becoming one (or even if the person is actually a doormat submissive). There are many misconceptions of what
8 Ways You Might Be a “Doormat” Submissive and How to Stop Read More »
I’ve been in relationships before. I know how they should work, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has forgotten how things are supposed to work just because they are in a D/s relationship instead of a vanilla one. Many of the questions on social networking for kinky people stems
4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because They Are a Dominant Read More »
If you ask any sadist what they enjoy out of pain play, it’s likely going to be watching the bottom respond to the pain. The more response, the higher the enjoyment for the top. Why is this important? Well, if the method of pain management doesn’t allow you to respond well to the pain, then
Learning About Negative Pain Processing Methods Read More »
“I want my Dominant to spank me more.” “How can I tell him I need more praise and approval without topping from the bottom?” “I need more attention, how can I tell him without being pushy?” “Can I tell him I love him and still be submissive? “How do I tell him that my needs
How To Ask for More Without Being a Pushy Submissive Read More »
KnyghtMare and I get lost in romance sometimes. The love we have for each other manifests in affection, mushy moments where we can only say how much we love each other and that overwhelming sense of joy that comes from a strong romance. For us romance is a part of our M/s relationship. Without knowing
What a Romantic Dominant/submissive Relationship Looks Like Read More »
Everyone you meet has different methods for how they handle pain. Think about the last time your stubbed your toe. How did you respond to the pain? Did you jump up and down? Curse? Cry? Hold your breath? Walk it off? How you handle pain is a result of nature and nurture. Perhaps as you
Understanding Natural Pain Processing Techniques for Better BDSM Play Read More »
As a novice looking for a relationship it is a good thing to know if discipline and punishment are something you are looking for. The punishment I’m talking about today is the correction for infractions, or getting into trouble. It’s not about the playtime activities which can be called punishment also. So, thinking about your
Why A Punishment Dynamic May be Just What You Need Read More »
