Striving to be the perfect submissive can leave you disconnected from your true self. Learn why perfectionism harms your submission and how embracing imperfection leads to deeper growth and authenticity in your D/s journey.
Perfection Isn’t the Goal: Finding Joy in Your Unique Submissive Journey Read More »
Talking dirty is an art that not many are born with, most of us have to learn it if we want to be good at it. I’ve given a bit of a primer on it before if you want to check that out, and I know that many of you are shy and just thinking of talking
5 Types of Naughty Talk To Enhance Your Sexual Experiences Read More »
I’m a female sub, and new to the scene, officially. Unofficially, I have been experimenting with (less than enthusiastic) partners, but now I’m a free agent, and seeking a community! So what’s stopping me you might ask? Well, I have genital herpes, and it deters most people. Do you have any tips for a young
Where Can I Find Like-minded Friends w/ Herpes? Read More »
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. People in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles love to say this word. We emphasize that it’s the cornerstone of the relationship, that it is the key to a successful relationship and that negotiation, a form of communication, needs to be done on a regular basis depending on the situation and relationship type.
What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating! Read More »
Hi lunaKM, I was wondering if there is anything that can be done to minimize the appearance of bruises and marks after rough play. I am very Irish and my skin is just this shade of death warmed over/ goth girl dream. This makes every mark stand out like a billboard and I get marked
How Can You Reduce the Appearance of Marks and Bruises After Play? Read More »
I am 28-year-old gay male and have been following your website for some time now, THANK YOU. I have always been attracted to dominant men and I am now married to one. My question is how to take our relationship to a formal 24/7 D/s place. Some of the challenges are the following: I am
Can We Move to 24/7 D/s Even If We Have Issues? Read More »
My first experience with ass to mouth sex was a huge surprise. I was playing around with someone, and I said something to the effect of, “kiss my ass” as a way to disagree with something he said, and he rolled me over, pinned me down and started kissing my ass. It moved to rimming,
My Time on the Edge: Exploring Rimming Read More »
Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives, we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and how scary some of the things
Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It Read More »
About a month ago I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it’s live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it’s important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps
Positive Pain Processing Interview is Out Now on KinkyCast! Read More »
I am new to a Dom/Sub relationship, for years I chose the wrong men because I was not sure what I needed. I have desired to be a sub for years and now I am acting on it, I have been given this site from Dom Friend who wants me to do some research before we meet. So
The Best Books for a Novice Submissive Read More »
Continuing from my previous article on preparing for your Dominant’s absence, today I want to talk about things you can do to help feel connected when you are not able to be together. In the last article, you learned a few good coping mechanisms for times when you feel alone. Working on hobbies, hanging out with
Connecting With Your Dominant While They Are Away Read More »
Explore the emotional power of erotic humiliation and degradation in BDSM. This guide breaks down key differences, challenges misconceptions, and offers personal insight into how these taboo dynamics—when practiced with consent and care—can foster intimacy, catharsis, and self-discovery for those ready to explore vulnerability in a safe, consensual space.
Slut Is Such a Dirty Word and I Love It! – Types of Humiliation and Degradation Play Read More »
One of the hardest things we do as submissives is asking for play. For many of us, coming out and saying we want play feels like we are topping from the bottom, stepping out of our submissive boundaries and doing something that isn’t in our character. But I’m here to tell you that it isn’t.
How to Ask for Play and Why It’s So Hard For Submissives To Do Read More »
Feeling uncertain about what’s expected of you as a submissive? You’re not alone. This beginner-friendly guide unpacks the realities of D/s dynamics, clears up common myths, and helps you explore your own needs and boundaries. Learn how to talk about expectations with a Dominant, spot red flags, and build a relationship that fits you both. Whether you’ve already entered a D/s relationship or are still figuring things out, this article offers guidance, clarity, and reflection prompts to support your journey. Because submission isn’t one-size-fits-all—and you deserve to feel seen, safe, and empowered in your role.
Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive Read More »
I’ve spoken to you about Safe, Sane and Consensual and about how it is the first safety mantra that people adopt as they learn about BDSM and kink relationships. Most BDSM munch groups around the world use SSC to define the play that is acceptable and how they prefer to present themselves to the vanilla
RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra Read More »
Whether it be for a job or a family crisis, military service or a holiday there might be a time in your submission where your partner must be away from you for a time and might not be able to communicate as often as you’d like. How do you prepare for the loneliness, loss, and
Preparing for Time When Your Dominant is Away Read More »
The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without its own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the
Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play Read More »
It’s common for relationships that are D/s in nature to start out in the bedroom and then slowly move to fill part or all of your life. But the daunting task of adjusting to that transition is enough to scare people away from ever doing it or from maintaining it for very long. Not only
Transitioning from Part Time to Full Time D/s: How to Work Through the Challenges Read More »
Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is
The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM Read More »
Your first scene with your Dominant is coming up and so far they’ve been pretty foggy as far as what will happen. You’ve never been involved in BDSM before but you are excited and scared for the upcoming session. What’s going to happen? What will you expect to see and do? A scene is in
The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens? Read More »
