Finding someone who shares your BDSM interests can take patience, whether you want a casual play partner or a lasting relationship. This beginner guide explores places to meet kinky people, including dating platforms and local communities, while encouraging thoughtful connections, realistic expectations, and basic safety when meeting someone new.
BDSM Basics – How Do I Find Someone to Play With? Read More »
Submissive training doesn’t have one universal definition. It might involve learning preferences, service, behavior, positions, protocols, or simply getting to know your partner. This article explores what training can mean in D/s relationships, common misconceptions, and why you should understand what’s expected before agreeing that you need to be trained.
What a Dom Means When They Say, “You Need Training” Read More »
some time pulling together the entire year’s count of sales through Amazon.com from Submissive Guide’s links. I wanted to know what you all were reading! And boy is it interesting! Check it out and if you see a book that peaks your interest, head on over through the link and check it out. Your other
The Year’s Best-Selling BDSM Books and eBooks from Amazon Voted by YOU Read More »
Respectful speech can be part of a D/s relationship, but expectations vary between dynamics. This article explores how submissives can practice titles, polite phrasing, tone, and thoughtful responses while developing new speech habits. The key is understanding what your Dominant expects and giving yourself time to practice those expectations consistently.
How Can I Learn to Speak More Respectfully? Read More »
Wanting more play doesn’t make you demanding or a bad submissive. This article explains how to ask your Dominant for BDSM play, why expressing your desires isn’t automatically topping from the bottom, different ways to make your request, and how to handle a no without becoming afraid to ask again.
How to Ask for More BDSM Playtime Read More »
Safe, Sane, and Consensual, or SSC, is one of BDSM’s best-known safety frameworks. This beginner guide explains what each part means, including risk awareness, negotiation, sobriety, consent, and safer play, while encouraging readers to think critically about what safety looks like in their own experiences and relationships.
BDSM Basics: Staying Safe with SSC Read More »
Stress can make it difficult to feel connected to your submissive mindset or manage your usual responsibilities. This article explores how overwhelming stress can affect submission and considers whether maintaining familiar D/s structure, routines, and expectations can provide stability rather than abandoning the dynamic when life becomes difficult.
Help! Stress Makes My Submissive Drive Crash Read More »
Meeting a potential Dominant can be exciting, especially when you’re eager to explore BDSM. This guide encourages submissives to consider compatibility, meet publicly, trust their instincts, resist pressure to play, and decide their own comfort level. A first meeting doesn’t require proving your submission or rushing into BDSM experiences.
How Far Should You Go On a First Date? Read More »
Submission doesn’t mean you’ll never get angry with your Dominant. This article explores how to handle conflict without suppressing your emotions or letting frustration explode. Learn ways to cool down, communicate openly, recognize outside stress, address concerns early, and repair the conversation when anger has already gotten the better of you.
How to Keep a Cool Head When You Get Angry With Your Dominant Read More »
Clumsiness can be frustrating, especially when spills, trips, and bumps leave you feeling embarrassed about your service. This article explores common factors that can make clumsiness worse, including stress, fatigue, rushing, and distraction, while offering practical ways to slow down, improve awareness, and focus on quality rather than speed.
I’m So Clumsy! Is There Anything I Can Do? Read More »
Can I just be really honest with you today? You know what one of the hardest parts about blogging has been for me? It’s that some readers want me to be perfect. I know they’d probably never say out loud, “I expect you to be a perfect submissive,” but if I admit that I don’t know the
On Perfectionism as a Submissive Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I have been in my first D/s relationship (online) for about a month. What is your view concerning the care, direction, and contact of Dominants w/their subs? I know we are all different, but I have nothing to compare. Contact is spotty and I feel a bit lost. Some days I get a
What Is The Expectation of Communication in an Online D/s Relationship? Read More »
A couple weeks ago I held a Roundtable discussion on Polyamory. You had a lot to say about it. I also had a guest post on polyamory, written by May. Coming up this week is a second guest post about having two Dominats in a poly relationship by Aria. Keep an eye out for that one!
Readers’ View on Polyamory Read More »
About 5 years ago I was an emotional mess. I had really poor self-esteem and my body image was even worse. I’ve always been an obese woman – since I was a teen I’ve carried more than a few extra pounds. So the cruel and hateful words of my youth sure contributed to the way
The Day I Stopped Rejecting Compliments and Learned to Love Myself Read More »
The collar you wear is a reminder of your submission and your relationship with your Dominant. It can mean the same as a wedding ring or that you are submissive to them for a certain period of time. More often than not, the Dominant is the one who gave you that collar. But is there
A Symbol for Dominants? Read More »
Whether you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey or another drugstore dirty romance novel and then decided to go exploring in BDSM or you’ve found BDSM another way one of the first questions everyone has is are they Dominant or submissive? It sure feels like a good place to start and I am going to help
BDSM Basics: Am I Dominant or submissive? Read More »
Dear LunaKM, I am fairly new to the D/s lifestyle. A little over a month ago, I met a man and started developing a relationship with him. We had many conversations that were about everyday topics and found we had things in common as well as sexual and D/s conversations. He became my Daddy and
I’m Confused. He Wants to “Just Be Friends” While Ex is Visiting Read More »
When you first learned about submission or BDSM you may have felt a sense of coming home, of finally understanding what wasn’t sitting right for you. But along with that relief come questions. You thought you knew who you were, and now you’ve been thrown into a new world and you don’t know who you
Finding Your Way to a Genuine Self Read More »
Every day you go to work and are in charge of people, or you have a management position. Perhaps you just feel that being in control outside of the home is comfortable for you. But you come home to submit. Or maybe you are an extroverted person and love interacting socially but with the right
Dominant Personality with a Submissive Identity Read More »
You’re surfing the internet one day and come across a forum of people talking about their sex lives. It’s interesting to you so you stop and read a bit. Just when you thought you were like everyone else, someone mentions something that you enjoy doing during sex and the responses are, “Oh that’s kinky!” It
BDSM Basics: Am I Kinky If…? Read More »
