kallista

Kallista is an English teacher and author; she and her Dom dated for a year before they made the choice to begin actively exploring the D/s aspects that had begun to take shape in their relationship.

Self-Esteem/Grooming Series Concludes: Accepting Comments and Compliments

At the beginning of the series, I addressed the idea that the final layer of the way we perceive ourselves is a product of how others perceive us. Although the focus of the series technically is building routines around grooming and health to maintain your own self-image, it would be unfair to ignore what I […]

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Coping with Different Sex Drives in a Relationship

It’s not pleasant, but it’s a reality that many relationships face, even when those relationships are kinky. It’s not the preference of one activity over another, but the desire for any activity at all; it’s the age old question: are you up for it? and the difference between your response and your partner’s. Having a

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When Kinky isn’t Sexy

A common misunderstanding that people who are new to the scene seem to have is that kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should be separated. This is especially true if the participants in

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Expressing Your Submission (with hair!)

I’ve read a half-dozen articles on scattered around the scene that talks about all sorts of methods for keeping your body clean, for dressing to inspire confidence—or tactics to boost confidence without wearing anything at all; I’ve seen articles detailing in methods of hair removal, of after-hair-removal-care, but somehow in the jumble of cyberspace, I

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Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, online submission is a bit of a hot-button among D/s practitioners. There are a lot of great arguments for why it doesn’t work, and for each of those, there’s an equally strong counterargument for why it’s a perfectly valid arrangement; but chances are, unless you’re submitting to

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Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct

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