Everything from consent and boundaries to aftercare and risk assessment ensures that your journey into submission is both fulfilling and secure.
This is a guest post by SherynB. Please take the time to read the whole thing. It’s an important issue that needs to be addressed. Okay, there’s a 600lb gorilla in the room, and I’m done pretending it’s not there. What we do isn’t pretty or politically correct, and frankly, it’s dangerous if we can’t get (and […]
For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter Read More »
When Master and I play, it’s very likely that there will be marks, at least temporarily. Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We are pretty minimal when it comes to first aid for them because I like to keep them as long as possible. I’m the sort
First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks Read More »
We never want our scene time to end. It’s fun and pleasant and lovely. When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes, we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes
Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time Read More »
I’ve talked about safewords here before. I believe they are very important for new relationships and when new activities are being introduced. A stop word is a break in the play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. Yes there are people who don’t use safewords and
Use Your Safeword Without Guilt – You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It Read More »
When your body overloads on adrenaline or endorphins you can reach a high that many call subspace. It doesn’t happen to everyone, nor does it happen every single time you play. Sometimes it can happen if you are in an erotic exchange but not playing. You need to know what you should and shouldn’t do
Entering Sub Space Do’s and Don’ts Read More »
It’s happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven’t faded yet. Your Doctor’s appointment is this afternoon, what do you do? First of all, don’t panic. Then, don’t cancel your appointment until you have read this post.
Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises Read More »
When you’ve decided to venture out on a blind date with a prospective Dominant you’ll likely want to set up a safe call. A safe call is someone that is aware you are on a date, who you are with and what to do if you don’t call on time. It’s a check in, plain
5 Things to Give Your Safe Call Person Before You Go On That Kinky Date Read More »
I know that if you spend any amount of time online in kink related social networks or chat rooms you will encounter the following person a time or two. This person identifies as sub and through their writing, you notice they treat every single Dominant as if they are serving them. Whether it be by
False Submission: Insta-Subs Online Read More »
How many of you post pictures on the Internet of your BDSM experiences? Or maybe on FetLife or your blog? Sharing photos has been something I have done from the very beginning. For a long time, though, I was uncomfortable showing my face in any fetish pictures since I was partly worried about the risk of being outed and
Showing Face: How Time Has Changed ThisGirl’s Perceptions of Sharing Photos Online Read More »
Being one myself, I have done a lot of research over the years on the affects of this as well as Co-Dependency which is part of what develops most commonly in children and continues to affect us into our adult life. Here is a list of common traits of a child of an Alcoholic compiled
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Submission Read More »
As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dominant is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dominant. If you are playing with a new Dominant and aren’t asked this question, my advice is
Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better Read More »
Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I’m amazed by casual play partners that don’t employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But
A Safer Kinky Sex How-To Read More »
Every time we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it’s important, if not imperative, that we are safe and aware of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and infections you can get. You should have tests for STDs regularly if you choose to
The 6 Most Common STDs Read More »
This is a guest post by Darkrose. BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people it’s pretty easy to define abuse. Webster’s Dictionary defines abuse as “improper use or handling, misuse, physical maltreatment, insulting
The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent Read More »
Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC, Safe Calls, and First Meeting Safety. When you are a novice in BDSM I’d encourage you to listen to these sermons and listen hard; they could protect you as you venture out into the
Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway Read More »
u that you deserve punishment for a wide variety of real and imagined offenses. They do not use appropriate levels of discipline, so the punishment does not fit the crime. It is never part of a consensual power exchange, and offenses are not forgiven after the discipline. There is a constant reminder of your ‘failure’.
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2 Read More »
Part 1: Information Please! If you’re a new submissive this lifestyle may seem overwhelming at first. A submissive I know terms it ‘the new submissive smell’. Dom/mes sense ‘new blood’, and swarm like piranhas to interact with, play with or train the new submissive in the group. Dom/mes may contact you online or meet you
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 Read More »
We all have one. FetLife is all the rage, but also we have alt.com, bondage.com, and others where we place ads and identity profiles to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it doesn’t matter. What matters is what we broadcast to everyone across our profiles. You need to keep things secure and consider what’s
What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile Read More »
I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break. Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In
The Safety Disguise of Safewords: Safewords Are Not Always Safe Read More »
At the beginning of this blog, I wrote about safewords. Just a reminder that a safeword is a signal that ends BDSM play and usually negotiated before play. It’s an excellent starting point but I left a part of it out. There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In
Nonverbal Ways to Safeword Read More »
