This is a guest post by Vikki Heaven. I realize I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve put my head on my lover’s chest and sobbed “but we’re in love, why can’t we just be together.” He soothes me and tells me that the mathematical improbability of us even finding each other makes our […]
Two Bodies Revolving Around a Core: The Slow Dance of a BDSM Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
Dear lunaKM, My boyfriend and I have decided to enter into a D/s relationship as fully as we can. Though I love serving my Dom, I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Very rarely does he seem interested in my pleasure at all or trying to connect my pleasure
Feeling Unfulfilled: Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. _Disclaimer: This article is over 15 years old and some of the thoughts may feel antiquated. It is shared here to expand your view and see the growth of knowledge over time. _
Grappling with Tradition and History to Define 24/7 Long Term D/s Relationships Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible
Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I was in an intense, committed relationship for four years. This relationship had bdsm elements and I am realizing while reading articles on your SubGuide site that it was indeed a bdsm relationship. In addition to our romantic relationship, we also worked together however we lived separately. During our relationship, there were power struggles resulting in
Should I Contact My Deceased Partner’s Secret Submissive? Read More »
“Subbie Siblings – we either love or hate this phrase. While the lifestyle is unique to each of us, do we have things in common that set us aside from other women? Do we naturally form a close bond and a willingness to help, or are we just here selfishly to get what we can
Q&A: Subbie Siblings Read More »
It’s often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven’t seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I
How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships Read More »
The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it. After hearing so much about love, the newcomer may end up a bit confused. After all, in the vanilla world, especially in Western culture, love is a really big deal.
Finding Love in the D/s Lifestyle Read More »
I have a very important question that I need your opinion on. I have been to your web page many times and appreciate your writing and knowledge. I recently found out that my husband of many years had been having a BDSM relationship outside of our marriage, secretly. We had been talking about BDSM ourselves
He Wants to Add His Once Secret Submissive to Our Relationship? Read More »
Do you know how to describe the qualities of a Dominant? What about a jerk? I bet you can describe a jerk a lot faster than a Dominant. Am I right? Have you ever encountered a jerk that identifies as a Dominant but is anything but? It’s common, unfortunately. There are people who like to
How to Tell If You Are With a Dominant or Just a Bossy Dick Read More »
Hello Luna I hear people talking constantly and in a profile about being “in a Leather family” or Leather community. My question is simple but I know the answer is not. What does “in a leather family” mean? What is Leather? I know where it started, but what does it mean in today’s BDSM society?
What is a Leather Family? Read More »
It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously far more to unpack
Master/slave Relationships in Black and White Read More »
I’ve written a few times about the change in my personal relationship with KnyghtMare and I. He had play and relationship needs that I couldn’t meet and it was creating a rift between us. The only solution that we could see was to open up the relationship. It evolved into a polyamorous dynamic shortly after
How I Identify as Monogamous in a Poly Dynamic Read More »
February is the love month. In the stores, everything is red, pink, and white. There are roses, teddy bears, and chocolate everywhere you turn. Actually, here, everything has looked that way since before Christmas was even over. It is a wonderful thing to celebrate the love we have for one another. I do think that
Is There Love in BDSM Relationships? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Are you looking for a magic spell? That unique formulae that will guarantee you the results you want? Well, there isn’t any trick. Not really… If you are looking for a lifetime partner,
Finding Your Dominant: Dating when BDSM is Something You Need Read More »
So, I am very new to this. I met Sir online and he asked me what do I expect from this relationship? My question is how do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect? I know I expect him to teach me everything, to help me learn my limits. Any help with
Figure Out What to Expect From a Relationship Before Entering a Relationship Read More »
For whatever reason, it seems that many members of the BDSM community are in long-distance or temporarily long-distance relationships with our dominants. In some of the online forums I am a part of I regularly see submissives and babygirls freaking out in the days before their dominant arrives for a visit – as I am
How I Prepare for My Dominant’s Visit Read More »
A few months ago, I came across writing on Kinky and Popular called “An Uncollaring Ceremony”. The title caught my eye so I clicked, and I am so happy I did because this writing resonated something inside of me and caused me to think of my submission. It made me think about walls that we,
Stop Serving Yourself: An Inspirational Un-Collaring Ceremony Read More »
When I was a novice (way back when) I heard about training a lot from the online conversations I held and the forum threads I participated in. In all the discussions I read, there was only one thing that was a common thread and that is that everyone had different interpretations of what training was,
What a Dom Means When They Say, “You Need Training” Read More »
When I was a novice submissive I was single and searching for a Dominant to be my playmate, my partner, and my lover. I explored all the places online that existed at the time, many that do not exist now or have been replaced by better sites. I was, in a word, desperate, to experience BDSM
How Far Should You Go On a First Date? Read More »
