Jealousy is a common and complex emotion in mono/poly relationships. This article explores why jealousy arises in mixed relationship structures and how partners can address it through communication, reassurance, boundaries, and emotional responsibility, helping maintain connection and trust without shame or minimization.
Jealousy and Mono/Poly Relationships Read More »
Building a long-distance relationship requires more than good intentions. This article explores practical tips for developing connection, trust, and communication across distance, helping partners create structure, manage expectations, and maintain emotional closeness even when they can’t be physically together.
Tips for Developing Long Distance Relationships Read More »
Service dynamics can be deeply fulfilling, but they can also lead to overwhelm if boundaries aren’t respected. This article explores how submissives can recognize burnout, manage expectations, and care for themselves while serving, emphasizing balance, communication, and sustainability as essential parts of long-term service submission.
How to Keep Yourself From Being Overwhelmed in a Service Dynamic Read More »
Old relationship wounds don’t disappear just because a new opportunity appears. This article explores how unresolved scars from past relationships can impact new D/s or romantic connections, offering guidance on healing, rebuilding trust, and approaching new dynamics with awareness instead of fear.
Mending Old Relationship Scars to Open Up to New Things Read More »
Distance can make submission feel emotionally challenging, especially when physical connection is limited. This article explores how submissives can stay connected, express submission, and maintain intimacy in long-distance D/s relationships, offering reassurance and practical ideas for nurturing emotional closeness, communication, and power exchange across miles.
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Missing You Read More »
Caregiver/little dynamics are often misunderstood within and outside the kink community. This article explores common misconceptions about these relationships, clarifying emotional roles, consent, and structure while helping readers distinguish between healthy caregiver/little dynamics and inaccurate stereotypes.
Some Misconceptions about the Caregiver/Little Dynamic Read More »
Long-distance BDSM relationships require intentional connection, communication, and emotional presence. This article explores the slow, evolving dance of maintaining intimacy and power exchange across distance, offering insight into trust-building, emotional closeness, and the unique rhythms that develop when partners can’t be physically together.
Two Bodies Revolving Around a Core: The Slow Dance of a BDSM Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
Many submissives worry that their sexual needs should come second in a D/s relationship. This article explores why fulfillment, communication, and mutual care are essential parts of healthy power exchange, helping readers understand that submission does not mean ignoring desire, boundaries, or emotional well-being.
Feeling Unfulfilled: Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. _Disclaimer: This article is over 15 years old and some of the thoughts may feel antiquated. It is shared here to expand your view and see the growth of knowledge over time. _
Grappling with Tradition and History to Define 24/7 Long Term D/s Relationships Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible
Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I was in an intense, committed relationship for four years. This relationship had bdsm elements and I am realizing while reading articles on your SubGuide site that it was indeed a bdsm relationship. In addition to our romantic relationship, we also worked together however we lived separately. During our relationship, there were power struggles resulting in
Should I Contact My Deceased Partner’s Secret Submissive? Read More »
“Subbie Siblings – we either love or hate this phrase. While the lifestyle is unique to each of us, do we have things in common that set us aside from other women? Do we naturally form a close bond and a willingness to help, or are we just here selfishly to get what we can
Q&A: Subbie Siblings Read More »
It’s often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven’t seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I
How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships Read More »
The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it. After hearing so much about love, the newcomer may end up a bit confused. After all, in the vanilla world, especially in Western culture, love is a really big deal.
Finding Love in the D/s Lifestyle Read More »
I have a very important question that I need your opinion on. I have been to your web page many times and appreciate your writing and knowledge. I recently found out that my husband of many years had been having a BDSM relationship outside of our marriage, secretly. We had been talking about BDSM ourselves
He Wants to Add His Once Secret Submissive to Our Relationship? Read More »
Do you know how to describe the qualities of a Dominant? What about a jerk? I bet you can describe a jerk a lot faster than a Dominant. Am I right? Have you ever encountered a jerk that identifies as a Dominant but is anything but? It’s common, unfortunately. There are people who like to
How to Tell If You Are With a Dominant or Just a Bossy Dick Read More »
Hello Luna I hear people talking constantly and in a profile about being “in a Leather family” or Leather community. My question is simple but I know the answer is not. What does “in a leather family” mean? What is Leather? I know where it started, but what does it mean in today’s BDSM society?
What is a Leather Family? Read More »
It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously far more to unpack
Master/slave Relationships in Black and White Read More »
I’ve written a few times about the change in my personal relationship with KnyghtMare and I. He had play and relationship needs that I couldn’t meet and it was creating a rift between us. The only solution that we could see was to open up the relationship. It evolved into a polyamorous dynamic shortly after
How I Identify as Monogamous in a Poly Dynamic Read More »
February is the love month. In the stores, everything is red, pink, and white. There are roses, teddy bears, and chocolate everywhere you turn. Actually, here, everything has looked that way since before Christmas was even over. It is a wonderful thing to celebrate the love we have for one another. I do think that
Is There Love in BDSM Relationships? Read More »
