From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.
Over the years I have had quite a few online names and aliases. Some have stayed with me, some haven’t. Some should never have existed in the first place because they were just *bad* Choosing a scene name is one thing if it is only ever going to be used online, but it takes a […]
What’s In a Name? Selecting a Scene Name You Can Live With Read More »
You’ve been doing the same ole’ kinky sh*t since the beginning and it’s getting old. Really old. So what do you do about it? Does it mean that you have to just keep replaying the record over and over and that nothing will be exciting again? Hardly. Every relationship experiences periods of boredom in the
Keeping It Fresh – How to Spice Up Your Kinky Life Read More »
Sub fever, also known as sub frenzy is an often misunderstood condition for novice and well-seasoned submissives. While experienced submissives can learn to recognize the symptoms, most novices are oblivious to the issues at hand. What is sub fever? Do you remember when you first discovered BDSM and submission and all of a sudden that
Understanding Sub Fever Read More »
I was asked in email a while ago about how safe BDSM groups are for people in high profile careers and the risk of being exposed. It’s a valid concern for anyone that seeks outside support and knowledge so I thought I’d share with you what I had to say to this person. Here’s their
Discretion in the BDSM Community – Anonymity and Personal Privacy Concerns Read More »
It’s one of those questions people always ask, isn’t it? What got you into BDSM? Or into D/s? Some people think it is to do with their nature from birth, others think it is how they are nurtured and what they experience in life. I think perhaps I am somewhere between the middle in my
You Are What You Read: What Got You Into BDSM and D/s? Read More »
This is a guest post by Camryn Darkstone. Virtual worlds have opened a door to BDSM for many people, allowing them to explore their curiosity about it in a fantasy environment. People who would never do so in “real” life can try on handcuffs, be chained and bound, and even submit to a Dominant, all
Deceptive Submissive – The Flip Side of the Predator Dominant Read More »
This is part two of the Anticipatory Service series, if you’d like to read part one, check out Exploring Service Motivations: How a Mocktail Made Me Service-Oriented. Service exists, like most things, on a spectrum. Real Service, Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny hold that reactive service is at one end of the spectrum, and proactive service is
The Challenge of Learning Anticipatory Service: Making Mistakes Read More »
Every few months I take a look at what BDSM related books readers of the Submissive Guide community are buying at Amazon (according to the reports Amazon give us from our affiliate program*). Today I spent some time digging into the purchases of BDSM books and have compiled the following breakdown of best selling books
The Best-selling Items on Amazon According to What Our Readers Are Buying Read More »
Hi, my name is Laney and I am a hug slut. I admit it, I love a good hug. As such, imagine how hard it was for me, entering the world of BDSM where a hug in greeting is not always possible. At my dungeon, like all dungeons, we have a set of rules that
To Hug or Not To Hug: Etiquette for Giving Hugs in BDSM Situations Read More »
This has always been a fascinating subject for me. Humiliation, for many, is a large – perhaps even important – part of their D/s dynamic. For these people, there can be a very strong desire to be humiliated. But what is humiliation? We’ve all experienced embarrassment from time to time and have a fairly good
Embarrassment vs. Humiliation – One Opinion Read More »
There are a lot of things on the internet talking about topping from the bottom as being a bad submissive thing. It’s made people terrified that everything they do could be crossing that terrible line. It’s not true. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again. Bottom topping isn’t as bad as it is hyped. First,
The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom Read More »
Happy Halloween! Soon we’ll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now, I’d like to talk about how Halloween is a perfect time of year for exploring kink as well. When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker
Halloween – A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out Read More »
Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. So much of what we do has to happen behind closed doors and in the bedrooms of kinky couples all over. What is considered lifestyle domination and submission or 24/7 D/s is a rare thing. Before KnyghtMare and I moved to a TPE
How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM Read More »
Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have ever considered. It’s also a good place to make friends with local people and organize events. But since the search capacity is limited it can be very difficult to find
How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning Read More »
The Ready-Made Submissive. This is a phenomenon that I am seeing pop up around the BDSM community. Why is this becoming prevalent? What exactly is a ready-made submissive? How can we, as a submissive, not fall into the pitfall of this? This is what I am going to talk about, and, hopefully, help you to
The Ready-Made Submissive Read More »
Aftercare is an elusive beast. Sometimes I need it and sometimes I’d rather be left alone. I’m never very sure which mood I’ll be in when we begin playing but aftercare is always on standby because I take what happens in scene very hard. It goes with my very emotional self. What exactly is aftercare? Reading some
Virginity. It’s valued and prized and then remembered. There are even people who believe in a second virginity. Of course, there are also BDSM virgins when people just get started. But, the question I got posed to me the other day was if you are a sexual virgin can you even know that you are
Virgins Can Love BDSM Too: How Sexual Preference Doesn’t Have to Involve Sex Read More »
Music always has a place in play for setting the right mood. We all have our own preferences but here are three playlists that I go back to again and again. Romance Soft Play and Bondage Below are groups that I find have a wide variety of sounds that are great for bondage and softer
3 BDSM Scene Music Playlists For The Dungeon and Bedroom Read More »
“Are you kinky?” he asked as he leaned in for a kiss. “What? Um… no, I don’t think so. Am I?” The word kinky is not exactly a clear term to define. It is a word that means different things depending on the context but maybe we can come up with a basic definition and
Everything You Need to Know About Being Kinky Read More »
Well, you did it. You finally took the steps necessary-you found a munch, made friends, joined a dungeon and it happened. You fell in love. Not with a certain someone, but with your community. It happens to a lot of us lifestylers. We immerse ourselves in our dungeon, our dungeon friends, “our world.” Then, we
Have a BDSM Community Spirit You Can Be Proud Of Read More »
