When I realized that my previous article on Sub Frenzy didn’t give you any advice on how to tackle it head on I knew I just had to get an article to you about how to manage sub frenzy so that it leaves you smarter, stronger and more prepared to handle the rush. What is Sub Frenzy […]
How to Safely Manage Sub Frenzy Read More »
In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with
Male Submission – Foot Fetish Read More »
First date jitters are perfectly normal, but it’s a good idea to calm your nerves prior to meeting your date. Before any first date, avoid thinking about the countless “what if” scenarios and simply go without any expectations. Unfortunately, the nervous energy attached to meeting a Dominant for the first time doesn’t go away for
10 Tips to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting a Dominant for the First Time Read More »
Topping from the bottom is a feared act for novice submissives because it holds a negative connotation that the person is somehow not submissive if they top from the bottom. It’s often whispered and sometimes screamed about in all of the online forums dealing with BDSM, and most of them talk about it with disdain,
The Truth About Topping from the Bottom Read More »
On my own blog, I’ve recently been reviewing various BDSM toy suppliers that I’ve used but I thought it would be interesting to write a guide on how to choose what to buy and where to buy it from and what sort of factors that should be considered during the joys of shopping! Who makes the purchasing
Talking Shop – Tips for Purchasing BDSM Toys Read More »
Go to an event they said. But they never said what events exist. Well now you have no excuse. Here’s a short list of regional and national, and even some international events pertaining to BDSM and the kink lifestyle. Check them out, register and book your rooms. There is fun and education to be had!
A List of National BDSM Events – Attend One, or Two, or Three Read More »
Leatherstrap asks me: I played with a lady tonite who set out very clearly that she wanted to play rough – in fact she wanted to be brought to tears – She had a safe word which she didnt call but as the session went on it became apparent that she wasnt well – I
Why Might I Get Sick Suddenly During Play? Read More »
We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits, and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you, too, have limits you will not cross, whether in your relationship or for sex and play. Some limits are temporary, while others are permanent. Others exist
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits Read More »
Everyone started here at some point or another. You may even be at this point right now. Brand new to BDSM, D/s or both and not sure what you would like in a relationship, the bedroom, with kink…. anything. And then you meet people online or face to face that asks you right off the
How Do I Know What I Like? I’m Brand New Read More »
Some of the first advice that I give to someone wanting to get off the computer and into the local community is to attend a munch. But at the same time, I know that attending a munch is a scary proposition. You will be meeting people you don’t know that are into kinky things, and
Don’t I Know You From Somewhere? – Encountering People You Know at a Munch Read More »
I’ve been involved with local and regional BDSM groups since I first learned about BDSM in 2003. You get to meet a lot of people during events and some of them have quirks and perversions that you’ve never heard of. You’ll meet white collar, blue collar and poverty stricken people in the same room enjoying
Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission Read More »
This is a guest post by Red Vinyl Kitty. You can read about her life as a slave kitty at Sub Mission. I was approached by LunaKM a few months ago to write a guest post for her blog. I do not usually do guest posts, but she wanted me to write one about my new
Bootblacking and Why I Love It Read More »
Picture this: it’s Valentine’s Day and you have a romantic evening planned for you and your honey. How do you prepare yourself and your bedroom for a night of passion and bliss? Do you light candles, lower the overhead lights, play soft, alluring music, perhaps use incense? Maybe you even spread rose petals on the
Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning, you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene Read More »
Like the vanilla world we live in, the kinky world is full of labels. And if you want to stir up a heated discussion, bring up “labels.” It is pretty hard to have a room full of people, talking about labels without someone getting upset. And rightfully so. A lot of people feel that labels
Labels – Yet Another “L” Word Read More »
On the heels of “50 Shades of Grey” fame, there are a lot of new and curious people exploring BDSM than there has been in a long time. For the many people who encounter this site through a search, they may have their fantasies dashed by reading about the internal work and powerful submissives that
Separating Fantasy from Reality – Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth Read More »
BDSM and Sex Sex and BDSM They do not have to go together, did you know that? While much of what we do in the bedroom can be considered sexual or sensual in nature it does not mean that you have to engage in sexual contact during play. Oftentimes during negotiation people will forget the
Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected Read More »
As with anything on Submissive Guide I do my best to provide you with accurate opinions and general viewpoints on topics pertaining to BDSM and submission. Readers such as you, tell me in a variety of ways what I should be focusing on from time to time by the amount of traffic or conversation a
The Top 7 Posts of 2012 on Submissive Guide Read More »
A presenter I saw recently said that as a master, the first thing he does is to ask for his new s-type to fill out one of those online “sexual interest” lists where you rank your kink interests on a scale from zero for “Yes, please,” to five for “Oh, HELL no.” Then he takes
Never Say Never: Overcoming Hard Limits Read More »
Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care
In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare Read More »
