From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.
Some of the first advice that I give to someone wanting to get off the computer and into the local community is to attend a munch. But at the same time, I know that attending a munch is a scary proposition. You will be meeting people you don’t know that are into kinky things, and […]
Don’t I Know You From Somewhere? – Encountering People You Know at a Munch Read More »
I’ve been involved with local and regional BDSM groups since I first learned about BDSM in 2003. You get to meet a lot of people during events and some of them have quirks and perversions that you’ve never heard of. You’ll meet white collar, blue collar and poverty stricken people in the same room enjoying
Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission Read More »
This is a guest post by Red Vinyl Kitty. You can read about her life as a slave kitty at Sub Mission. I was approached by LunaKM a few months ago to write a guest post for her blog. I do not usually do guest posts, but she wanted me to write one about my new
Bootblacking and Why I Love It Read More »
Picture this: it’s Valentine’s Day and you have a romantic evening planned for you and your honey. How do you prepare yourself and your bedroom for a night of passion and bliss? Do you light candles, lower the overhead lights, play soft, alluring music, perhaps use incense? Maybe you even spread rose petals on the
Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning, you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene Read More »
Like the vanilla world we live in, the kinky world is full of labels. And if you want to stir up a heated discussion, bring up “labels.” It is pretty hard to have a room full of people, talking about labels without someone getting upset. And rightfully so. A lot of people feel that labels
Labels – Yet Another “L” Word Read More »
On the heels of “50 Shades of Grey” fame, there are a lot of new and curious people exploring BDSM than there has been in a long time. For the many people who encounter this site through a search, they may have their fantasies dashed by reading about the internal work and powerful submissives that
Separating Fantasy from Reality – Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth Read More »
BDSM and Sex Sex and BDSM They do not have to go together, did you know that? While much of what we do in the bedroom can be considered sexual or sensual in nature it does not mean that you have to engage in sexual contact during play. Oftentimes during negotiation people will forget the
Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected Read More »
As with anything on Submissive Guide I do my best to provide you with accurate opinions and general viewpoints on topics pertaining to BDSM and submission. Readers such as you, tell me in a variety of ways what I should be focusing on from time to time by the amount of traffic or conversation a
The Top 7 Posts of 2012 on Submissive Guide Read More »
A presenter I saw recently said that as a master, the first thing he does is to ask for his new s-type to fill out one of those online “sexual interest” lists where you rank your kink interests on a scale from zero for “Yes, please,” to five for “Oh, HELL no.” Then he takes
Never Say Never: Overcoming Hard Limits Read More »
Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care
In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare Read More »
Have you ever wondered why we use safe words in this lifestyle? I have pondered that a time or two and have always come to a conclusion that it is what makes this lifestyle safe. Without them, we are bordering on harming the other person if we go too far. It is important to develop
Developing Trust in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word Read More »
Getting ready for play is full of excitement and nerves. It can be so difficult to focus on anything but the upcoming time with your Dominant. Setting up a preparation routine will not only make the session more enjoyable for your Dominant but will put you more at ease to enjoy it also. So what
Preparing Your Body for a Scene Read More »
Oftentimes instead of writing out the words we abbreviate or create acronyms or groups of initials to say the same thing. Here is a list of the more common letter groupings when it comes to talking about BDSM and submission. These could also be seen in profiles and dating sites. @: In discussions, addressing a
Acronyms, Abbreviations and Initialisms in BDSM Conversation Read More »
Being introduced to a ball gag was a scary thing for me. I had always envisioned it as limiting my breathing and never thought to try it out before it showed up in a scene. The first ball gag I owned was small, spongy ball on a leather strap. It was small and I could open
Perspectives: Gags Read More »
It can be quite obvious what the goal of orgasm on command training is, but there are so many things you can do with that goal to make it interesting and exciting for everyone involved. I’m going to talk about a few things that I learned about while doing the research for my own training,
Orgasm on Command Training – Ultimate Goals and Variations Read More »
Once you’ve decided to enter an orgasm on command training, it can help to learn what the submissive goes through to wire their brain so that they can hold back their orgasm to when you wish them to have it. It’s not easy. If you want to read the introductory article, check out Initial Steps Into
Orgasm on Command Training – The Process for the Submissive Read More »
Unlock the power of your mind with orgasm control training. Learn how to embrace the possibility of non-physical pleasure as a submissive and master on-demand ecstasy.
On-Demand Ecstasy: Initiating Your Orgasm Control Training Read More »
The other night KnyghtMare and I went to a play party. We were having a nice time sitting and watching and socializing in the sunken seating area surrounded by raised booths. KnyghtMare was playfully swatting my breasts from time to time and at one point I raised my arms up out of the way to
Don’t Touch Other People’s Property: The Golden Rule at BDSM Functions Read More »
I believe the second kinky activity introduced to me after spanking was flogging. Since then I’ve had a love/love relationship with it. Flogging is when a top uses a multi-tailed whip to strike in a swinging motion, often times rhythmically. The material that the flogger is made of varies as much as the sensation. Suede is
Perspectives: Flogging Read More »
