This essay was first written and published in the Society of Janus newsletter “Growing Pains.” I hope you enjoy! Pushing boundaries in pain tolerance is a common request for submissives of all flavors. As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I […]
Learning Better Pain Processing Through Visualization Read More »
There are several very good podcasts online that I enjoy listening to from time to time and I finally pulled together a short list of the ones that I don’t like to miss a single episode. What is a podcast you ask? And there really are adult kink-oriented podcasts? Why yes! A podcast is an
Recommended Podcasts for Kink and Power Exchange Relationships Read More »
You are a bedroom submissive. You may only submit only in the bedroom, or on weekends or for only set time periods. So having rituals seems foreign to you, right? Maybe. They aren’t meant for you, right? Wrong. If you’ve ever thought that ritual and meditation was for full-time submissives only or those in committed
Enhance Your Sex and BDSM Play with Rituals in the Bedroom Read More »
This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen on this site and in the BDSM community. Mr. Samsonite. Every group has one; you know, the guy who can’t show up to the play party without enough luggage to go on a two-week European tour? He
What is Primal Play? Read More »
Are you looking for kink friends and fun close to you? Have you heard about munches, but don’t know what they are, much less where to look? Are you traveling or relocating and not sure about the community at your destination? Or, are you already involved, and you want your local organization to grow? FindaMunch.com
Find a Munch at FindaMunch.com! Read More »
I first published this in Society of Janus’ Bi-monthly newsletter, I thought I’d share it with you as well. Exploring kink is full of exciting experiences and hormonal roller coasters. We manipulate adrenaline and endorphins to give us a pleasurable experience during play. Often without knowing how these hormones will impact us after the play
You Could Be in Danger While in Top/Sub Space – Learn How to Protect Yourself Read More »
The other day, I found myself wondering who and what influences me with the decisions I make. The reason why I found myself pondering this is that I had begun to doubt myself and everything I believed and how I lived my life because of something someone had said about me. This person who had
Who Influences Your Submission? Read More »
Your scene has just ended and you both feel spent, exhausted and buzzing with good feelings. And then you look around the room, move your aching limbs and start to come out of your or play-induced fog. The room is a mess, there are toys everywhere. Both of you need aftercare. Who does what? How
After the Scene is Over – Clean-up, Aftercare, and Check-Ins Read More »
I admit that I used to whisper tales of sub space and the other blissful states that I’ve been in as if they were magical golden hours of submission. I actually believed long ago that sub space is what made me a “real” submissive. Trust me, that bubble didn’t last long. Once it was popped
Little Known Ways We Experience Sub Space Read More »
There are a few “sins” in the world of BDSM; ignoring a safe word and touching that which does not belong to you are a few examples. But, while both of these are bad, one might be able to look at a different point of view. Someone may ignore a safeword because their scene involves
Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler Read More »
My question is not so much specifically for a submissive, to be honest, i don’t know where to go about this. But after all i have read from you, Luna, i respect your opinions & views & thought you would be best to ask. I have noticed that in the last few years, so many of
Is The Influx of Bossy Newbies Killing Old School Traditions? Read More »
There are things you can do to help you prevent some or all of the symptoms of sub drop. Taking care of yourself after you play is a personal responsibility that I wish more submissives would take upon themselves.
Some of the Best Kept Secrets to Sub Drop Recovery Read More »
I am a Tumblr whore. There’s no other way to describe it. I spend way too much time on there looking for pictures. Most of the pictures I re-blog and most of those who I follow post lifestyle related pictures. I am very particular about the pictures that I re-blog. The pictures that I post
This is Not a Game – BDSM is My Life Read More »
Our responsibilities as a submissive are important to be aware of. I’ve said a number of times in other articles that often novice submissives feel that once they are in a relationship they don’t have any responsibilities at all. That is far from true. Does that then mean that single submissives that play casually or
Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship Read More »
Falling in love is easy, so is falling out of love-especially when it is the love of a toy. One of the assignments that I assign to the people I mentor involves this occurrence. When I came into the lifestyle, I had two main loves-rope and floggers. To me, there was nothing better than getting to
Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist Read More »
Once you reach a level of comfort with your kinky desires it may be time to go to a BDSM convention. A BDSM convention is much like a convention for any other activity. It is held in a hotel or large convention center with classes and seminars to choose from. There are vendors selling wares
Tips on How to Attend a BDSM Convention on a Budget Read More »
When I realized that my previous article on Sub Frenzy didn’t give you any advice on how to tackle it head on I knew I just had to get an article to you about how to manage sub frenzy so that it leaves you smarter, stronger and more prepared to handle the rush. What is Sub Frenzy
How to Safely Manage Sub Frenzy Read More »
In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with
Male Submission – Foot Fetish Read More »
First date jitters are perfectly normal, but it’s a good idea to calm your nerves prior to meeting your date. Before any first date, avoid thinking about the countless “what if” scenarios and simply go without any expectations. Unfortunately, the nervous energy attached to meeting a Dominant for the first time doesn’t go away for
10 Tips to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting a Dominant for the First Time Read More »
Topping from the bottom is a feared act for novice submissives because it holds a negative connotation that the person is somehow not submissive if they top from the bottom. It’s often whispered and sometimes screamed about in all of the online forums dealing with BDSM, and most of them talk about it with disdain,
The Truth About Topping from the Bottom Read More »
