Kink Fundamentals Archives - Page 11 of 17

You Could Be in Danger While in Top/Sub Space – Learn How to Protect Yourself

By Luna Carruthers / 4 minutes of reading

I first published this in Society of Janus’ Bi-monthly newsletter, I thought I’d share it with you as well. Exploring kink is full of exciting experiences and hormonal roller coasters. We manipulate adrenaline and endorphins to give us a pleasurable experience during play. Often without knowing how these hormones will impact us after the play […]

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Who Influences Your Submission?

By tequilarose / 5 minutes of reading

The other day, I found myself wondering who and what influences me with the decisions I make. The reason why I found myself pondering this is that I had begun to doubt myself and everything I believed and how I lived my life because of something someone had said about me. This person who had

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After the Scene is Over – Clean-up, Aftercare, and Check-Ins

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Your scene has just ended and you both feel spent, exhausted and buzzing with good feelings. And then you look around the room, move your aching limbs and start to come out of your or play-induced fog. The room is a mess, there are toys everywhere. Both of you need aftercare. Who does what? How

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Little Known Ways We Experience Sub Space

By Luna Carruthers / 3 minutes of reading

I admit that I used to whisper tales of sub space and the other blissful states that I’ve been in as if they were magical golden hours of submission. I actually believed long ago that sub space is what made me a “real” submissive. Trust me, that bubble didn’t last long. Once it was popped

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Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

By Luna Carruthers / 5 minutes of reading

There are a few “sins” in the world of BDSM; ignoring a safe word and touching that which does not belong to you are a few examples. But, while both of these are bad, one might be able to look at a different point of view. Someone may ignore a safeword because their scene involves

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Is The Influx of Bossy Newbies Killing Old School Traditions?

By Luna Carruthers / 3 minutes of reading

My question is not so much specifically for a submissive, to be honest, i don’t know where to go about this. But after all i have read from you, Luna, i respect your opinions & views & thought you would be best to ask. I have noticed that in the last few years, so many of

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Some of the Best Kept Secrets to Sub Drop Recovery

By Luna Carruthers / 12 minutes of reading

There are things you can do to help you prevent some or all of the symptoms of sub drop. Taking care of yourself after you play is a personal responsibility that I wish more submissives would take upon themselves.

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This is Not a Game – BDSM is My Life

By tequilarose / 6 minutes of reading

I am a Tumblr whore. There’s no other way to describe it. I spend way too much time on there looking for pictures. Most of the pictures I re-blog and most of those who I follow post lifestyle related pictures. I am very particular about the pictures that I re-blog. The pictures that I post

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Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship

By Luna Carruthers / 4 minutes of reading

Our responsibilities as a submissive are important to be aware of. I’ve said a number of times in other articles that often novice submissives feel that once they are in a relationship they don’t have any responsibilities at all. That is far from true. Does that then mean that single submissives that play casually or

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Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist

By laneydoll / 3 minutes of reading

Falling in love is easy, so is falling out of love-especially when it is the love of a toy. One of the assignments that I assign to the people I mentor involves this occurrence. When I came into the lifestyle, I had two main loves-rope and floggers. To me, there was nothing better than getting to

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Tips on How to Attend a BDSM Convention on a Budget

By Luna Carruthers / 6 minutes of reading

Once you reach a level of comfort with your kinky desires it may be time to go to a BDSM convention. A BDSM convention is much like a convention for any other activity. It is held in a hotel or large convention center with classes and seminars to choose from. There are vendors selling wares

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How to Safely Manage Sub Frenzy

By Luna Carruthers / 6 minutes of reading

When I realized that my previous article on Sub Frenzy didn’t give you any advice on how to tackle it head on I knew I just had to get an article to you about how to manage sub frenzy so that it leaves you smarter, stronger and more prepared to handle the rush. What is Sub Frenzy

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Male Submission – Foot Fetish

By tedsubby / 13 minutes of reading

This entry is part 3 of 10 in the series For Male Submissives

In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with

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10 Tips to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting a Dominant for the First Time

By Luna Carruthers / 4 minutes of reading

First date jitters are perfectly normal, but it’s a good idea to calm your nerves prior to meeting your date. Before any first date, avoid thinking about the countless “what if” scenarios and simply go without any expectations. Unfortunately, the nervous energy attached to meeting a Dominant for the first time doesn’t go away for

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The Truth About Topping from the Bottom

By Luna Carruthers / 11 minutes of reading

Topping from the bottom is a feared act for novice submissives because it holds a negative connotation that the person is somehow not submissive if they top from the bottom. It’s often whispered and sometimes screamed about in all of the online forums dealing with BDSM, and most of them talk about it with disdain,

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Talking Shop – Tips for Purchasing BDSM Toys

By thisgirl / 6 minutes of reading

On my own blog, I’ve recently been reviewing various BDSM toy suppliers that I’ve used but I thought it would be interesting to write a guide on how to choose what to buy and where to buy it from and what sort of factors that should be considered during the joys of shopping! Who makes the purchasing

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A List of National BDSM Events – Attend One, or Two, or Three

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Go to an event they said. But they never said what events exist. Well now you have no excuse. Here’s a short list of regional and national, and even some international events pertaining to BDSM and the kink lifestyle. Check them out, register and book your rooms. There is fun and education to be had!

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Why Might I Get Sick Suddenly During Play?

By Luna Carruthers / 2 minutes of reading

Leatherstrap asks me: I played with a lady tonite who set out very clearly that she wanted to play rough – in fact she wanted to be brought to tears – She had a safe word which she didnt call but as the session went on it became apparent that she wasnt well – I

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

By Luna Carruthers / 10 minutes of reading

We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits, and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you, too, have limits you will not cross, whether in your relationship or for sex and play. Some limits are temporary, while others are permanent. Others exist

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How Do I Know What I Like? I’m Brand New

By Luna Carruthers / 4 minutes of reading

This entry is part 14 of 19 in the series New to BDSM? Start Here

Everyone started here at some point or another. You may even be at this point right now. Brand new to BDSM, D/s or both and not sure what you would like in a relationship, the bedroom, with kink…. anything. And then you meet people online or face to face that asks you right off the

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