I've been writing about submission here for a long time. I do my best to give a positive image to submission for those who are new and learning about BDSM and possibly wanting to explore it with their current of future partners. There's nothing wrong with the way I write and have been prompted on several occasions to write a book. But I want to write about the reality of submission today.

It's not easy.

Nothing in life worthwhile is easy. Now I know you've probably heard that saying a dozen times in your life, but it's really true. If you really want something bad enough you will work your ass off trying to get it. And you won't give up once you do have it because keeping it is work too. The activities and questions you read on this site are meant to challenge you. I don't expect you to make a mind map, write a service resume or make your wants and needs list in 30 minutes. I hope that you will take the time to do them, but at your own pace.

You will make mistakes.

We all do, but what I'm hoping you learn is that these mistakes teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and how we desire to submit. Whether it's bedroom only play or full-time submission these lessons make us better people. Don't expect perfection out of yourself or your partner. Humanity has flaws, you have flaws. Learn to work with them and you might have fewer mistakes.

You won't have all the answers.

Reading this site will only give you so much insight. You need to continue to seek information on your own and to develop your own opinions. Most everything written here by myself or guests is opinion. Don't take it as fact. If you want fact, read the encyclopedia.  Sometimes submission requires that you bumble around with it a bit first. It' won't be just right the first time you try it. And if you don't have all the information necessary to try something, find it. Don't let yourself or your partner play without knowing as much as possible about what you are going to do.  This applies to simple tasks as well. "There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground." ( Rumi)

Some day you may want to quit.

That's right, I said quit. We are not all cut out for submission. Perhaps you find out you are just kinky sometimes and that's okay too. Other days submission just gets too overwhelming and you need to take a step back. Hopefully, you will realize what you truly need in life to be happy and embrace that, with or without submission.

People do get hurt.

Not every relationship is the right relationship. It is unfortunate, but you have to go through some heartache to find the partner you are most compatible with and happy to be with. There are bad people in this world out to hurt you as well. If you learn and listen to your gut you might be able to protect yourself from most of them. But not all of them. Sadly, there are a lot of bad date/relationship stories out there. The best you can do is to be very aware of what's going on to keep yourself protected.

I've read recently someone called this website and myself the Oprah version of submission, whatever that means. Perhaps that's because I am living an ideal life. Even if I struggle, my struggles are probably tame in relation to many of yours. I can only help so much. I can only write about what I know. If you've had a difficult time, or are struggling, I welcome you to write about it for Submissive Guide. Share with us your difficulties; we'll understand and be there for you. Even if you must solve it alone, perhaps there is a small rainbow in our support.