This is a guest post by the authors of Spices of Lust.

In the world of BDSM, always be careful when someone says “true” or “right” when describing anything -- because there is no one right way for anything. When we say we can help you find the “right” BDSM collar -- we mean the right one for you.

If you’ve ever bought a collar or necklace online because the picture was beautiful only to hate it once you put it on, you’re not alone. Before you choose your next collar -- for yourself or your partner -- consider these things.

How Will You Use Your Collar?

Collars can have deep meaning for a D/s couple or they can be purely for play, but it’s good to know what your collar will symbolize before you buy it.

Day collars are worn out and about, during everyday life as a way to maintain a D/s dynamic even when apart. They can be made of any material and be any style that suits you.

Play collars often get used during kinky scenes -- whether in a BDSM dungeon or at home. They are generally utilitarian with hooks and rings and made of a durable material like leather.

Collars of consideration are not used in every D/s partnership and can be similar to a day collar. These collars are worn until both partners agree to end things or take their relationship to the next step.

Training collars may not be as common as the others, but they can be used for a variety of activities: slave positions, posture training, and more. Posture collars usually fit over the entire neck and up to the chin to hold the neck, shoulders, and head in place.

The Fit and Comfort of the Collar

Once you know how this collar will be used, it’s time to consider how it feels around a submissive’s neck. Too tight, and they may feel choked or claustrophobic. Too loose, and it may get caught on kinky equipment or be less effective.

Some kinksters want a collar that fits very close around the neck, while others do not. You may choose a day collar that blends in with your vanilla clothes and a leather collar for BDSM scenes. Because of the material and the way they’ll be used, each collar will have a unique fit.

How to find the right fit for your BDSM collar:

● Measure your neck and check the sizing guide. If a submissive wants a looser collar, choose a size larger. If they want a close-fitting collar, stick closely to the size for their neck measurement.

● Be mindful of sensitivities or allergies to materials. If a submissive could break out in hives while wearing it, it’s not the one for them.

● Look for adjustable collars. This allows for weight gain and loss, as well as how tight or loose a submissive needs their collar to feel from one day to the next.

● Try it on before playing or wearing it daily, and listen to a submissive’s feedback. If they’re not comfortable wearing it now, they may not be comfortable wearing it later.

Choose the Style You Prefer

In Dominance and submission, a submissive’s choice should always be given consideration, especially in their collar. Yes, a Dominant may have a preference and be in charge, but the submissive is the person who has to wear it. Discuss the style of the collar with each other and find what works best for both of you.

● Necklaces, anklets, bracelets, or rings may be used as a collar that no one in the vanilla world will question. These are great for day collars.

● Thick, heavy collars made of leather, chains, or other materials are great for some people, but not for everyone.

● Black leather may be the stereotype but bright colors and even unusual material, like ribbon, are perfect for other submissives.

● Infinity collars are beautiful and elegant and often symbolize the commitment between Dominant and submissive -- precisely because it cannot be easily removed.

The collar you choose for your D/s relationship and your BDSM scenes needs to feel good, work well, and be something you’re proud to wear (or to see your partner wearing). There’s no single right collar for everyone. Take your time to research your options and pick the BDSM collar that best helps you express your D/s dynamic.

Spices Of Lust is a team of two kinksters, a couple from Croatia, currently living in New York - where they moved almost a year ago. Both L&L enjoy traveling, long and unusual conversations, working on the blog and exploring kinks. You can find all the contact info on their About Us page.