You've met the perfect person; they are strict and charming, their dominance is a perfect compliment to your submission. There is just one hang-up. They are shorter than you, or they could be smaller in stature than you. Could there be an issue with your ability to submit to someone that can't overpower you physically or that you can't gaze into their eyes from below?

There is a reason why it can be a problem with some people to submit someone that doesn't fit their mental image of a dominant. It has to do with perception. You can't assume that just because someone is shorter than you are that they can't bring you to your knee with a word. Someone's physical presence is not where their dominance lies. Look within and see that the dominance is who they are and they can wield power from wherever they are, not just from above.

The media has given us a stigma of the muscular, powerful dominant or the tall, busty female dominant. The vision may help fuel your dreams and fantasies but the general population does not look like our dreams. We need to step out of that 2-d environment of screen and pictures and take in reality.

Give someone a chance to show you who they are. Being open to someone that isn't your perfect vision of dominance could lead you to your perfect partner. People come in all shapes and sizes. We all have a preference for body types, and each of us has different bodies. Our submission or dominance is who we are, not what we look like. When you meet someone that is just perfect in personality, their size shouldn't mean anything.

Even if you have accepted someone into your life that is smaller than you are, you could still have occasional issues with power exchange. In the heat of a moment, you could forget that they still control you and try to force them to do your will or refuse to do theirs. They may then reassert their power over you in a corrective way.

So how do you break down your own perception barrier?

  1. Analyze your reasoning behind why you find shorter people less dominant and change it.
  2. Figure out why being taller makes you feel less submissive.
  3. Talk to the dominant as equals and get to know them.

Do you have any ideas to share? Are you in a relationship where your Dominant is smaller than you are? Is it difficult to obey them? Why or why not?