Submissive women have needs just like anybody else. But how can a woman get her needs met when she’s relinquished her power to her dominant partner? With warmth, wisdom and a down-to-earth approach, experienced submissive Kacie Cunningham analyzes the realities of the dominant-submissive lifestyle and suggests ways in which both partners can experience the greatest possible growth and pleasure. At the heart of the book is an emotion Kacie has dubbed “Conquer Me” — which she defines as “the submissive’s internal demand for a show of strength.” Without a clear understanding of “conquer me,” both submissive and dominant may find themselves at odds — either fighting unhappily, or watching the passion ebb from their relationship. This book explains this unique need and how to get it met — essential knowledge for any submissive or couple who wants to get the most out of their D/s lifestyle.
Review
First I have to thank Ms Kayla of Kinky World for giving me a list of possible books to review when I called for them in November. She had some excellent suggestions and this book is one of them. I’ve queued several more for future months.
Conquer me by Kacie Cunningham is a book written by one submissive with advice and personal viewpoints on how to fill your submissive desires. Sound like a familiar website, doesn’t it? You wouldn’t be far off the mark. In fact, it’s written much like this website also, with short easy to read essays on specific topics related to submission and D/s relationships.
Most books written for submissives seem to only scratch the surface when it comes to topics like needs, wants, communication, negotiation and so forth. She takes you deeper. Her witty stories and first-hand experiences really help you see that submission is a worthwhile study in interpersonal relationships.
Many of the topics I’ve covered on this site as well, and with much the same view. She talks about topping from the bottom, discipline, how power exchange works ( I love her “Bank” analogy) and so many other fantastic topics. I found myself nodding along on a lot of her views so if you like what I have to say here, you will likely appreciate and enjoy Kacie’s book as well.
In fact, this book is going right to the top of my recommended reading list.
At the core of the book is an emotion dubbed, “conquer me” which is a submissive’s internal demand for a show of strength. Here’s what she has to say on conquer me feelings:
Have you ever had that feeling well up inside of you, the one that feels like you just absolutely need to be grabbed by the hair, thrust to the floor, and talked to in The Voice? You know, The Voice that makes you have shivers down your spine, and that delicious fluttering in your belly? I’ll let you fill in the rest of this little fantasy on your own, but I think you know the feeling I’m talking about. The feeling you get that feels almost like being hungry, thirsty, and really horny all at the same time. Yet it’s not a need for any of those things, exactly but a need for a Master to bury his hands in your hair, and his teeth in your flesh, and take you down, thrusting you firmly in your place, where you belong, and not let you up until it pleases him.
That, dear reader, is “conquer me.” (pg. 25)
Isn’t that just delicious? She goes on to explain just what this emotion is and how to manage it in the depths of her book. By far this is one of the better books on submission I’ve read in recent memory. I strongly urge you to get a copy of your own!