This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. The Formal Collar (frequently called the Slave Collar) is the representation of the final stage of commitment between the Dominant and submissive. This collar is offered after the Dominant and submissive have progressed […]
The Formal Collar Read More »
by Ambrosio. This was first published on Ambrosio’s site and has a free to distribute license. Abrosio dedicated this article to Beverly M. in Austin. Good Manners vs. Correct Protocol “Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a
I didn’t always consider myself a slave with protocol. I’ve been with KnyghtMare for over 10 years and it’s been a journey of discovery the whole way. The idea of protocol and ritual to enhance our relationship came about in fits and starts, in small suggestions and ideas but it has grown. And that’s the
How I Started a Simple BDSM Protocol, and How You Can Too! Read More »
Welcome to part three in this week’s series all about how to help you feel more comfortable entering and becoming a part of the local BDSM community. Some of the best education I’ve received as a submissive, especially on the different ways other people live the D/s life, have been from people in my local area . Attending a munch,
Entering the Community: Understanding and Following General Protocols in Public Read More »
It’s often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven’t seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I
How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships Read More »
This series is written from the perspective that being single in the Lifestyle affords one the opportunity to do some soul-searching, learning, and defining in order to be better equipped to transition into a suitable and desirable relationship in due time. Read – Part I: Boundaries , Part II: Service, Part III: Slave Resume .
Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning Read More »
What’s the difference between a protocol and a ritual? Even experienced people in the lifestyle can get tripped up on this one, but there are a few basic differences that will allow you to rapidly tell the two apart. A ritual: Some examples of common rituals are greeting rituals where the submissive meets the dominant
Telling the Difference Between a Ritual and a Protocol Read More »
Why do Dominants insist on being called Sir? That was a question posed not that long ago in an online community that I belong to. They wanted to know why so many insist on being called Sir. Was it a matter of respect the Dominant thought they had earned? Was it a matter of protocol?
Why Do Dominants Insist on Being Called Sir? Read More »
Sometimes we forget that speaking in a submissive manner could include moments we don’t know who is on the other end of the conversation. Answering the phone or the door is a process that has gotten far too sloppy lately. I hope that with this advice we can begin to correct that. At least at
Lessons in Submissive Speech 9: Answering the Phone or Door Read More »
One of the most valuable things that I think any submissive should know is how to express gratitude in more than one way. I know I’ve taken a lot for granted when I was first starting out and exploring kink with anyone who was interested. Never once did I say thank you for it. I
Lessons in Submissive Speech 8: Showing Gratitude Read More »
In everyone’s daily exchanges with people there comes a time we will need to interrupt another person or persons to pass on information. For a polite and graceful submissive you should endeavor to not interrupt someone needlessly but to find an appropriate time to step into their presence. Often times I am sent as a messenger for
Lessons in Submissive Speech 7: Polite Interruptions Read More »
Just as saying yes or answering in the affirmative can be done many ways, saying no has many ways you can say it also. When a submissive gives a negative answer it can be a simple “no” or it can be as elaborate as the Dominant wishes. Some Dominants do not allow the submissive to
Lessons in Submissive Speech 6: Answering in the Negative Read More »
Saying yes is one of the most frequent phrases I say on a regular basis. There are several ways you can express a “yes” response to your Dominant or others. When a submissive says “yes” it can be as simple or elaborate as the Dominant wishes. This depends on the formality of the relationship and
Lessons in Submissive Speech 5: Answering in the Positive Read More »
The proper apology is an art, it really is. But before we put that together I’d like to cover the reason for apologizing in the first place. Submissive Guide has just released a new expanded edition of Lessons in Submissive Speech. Get Yours Now! Apologizing is not admitting your intentional disobedience. It’s not about accepting the
Lessons in Submissive Speech 4: How to Apologize Read More »
You should never be afraid to ask a question of your Dominant, however, in certain circumstances, there are inappropriate ways to ask questions and inappropriate questions. First, and I have a hard time at this one too, you shouldn’t question a Dominant’s orders. It is not a submissive’s position to know why a Dominant wishes
Lessons in Submissive Speech 3: Asking a Question Read More »
In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation. How many times have you had conversations with service personnel or with people you encounter in your day to day without first asking them their name or how they wish to be addressed? It’s a
Lessons in Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals Read More »
Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other
Introduction to Lessons in Submissive Speech Series Read More »
Throughout history, people have been creating specialized rituals for different events in their lives from birth to coming of age, marriage and even death. Some of the special events that we are drawn to in a D/s bend are the more “everyday” form of formal behavior and on occasion, a ceremony that comes from other
Ritual Ideas: High Tea, Japanese Tea Ceremony and Formal Dining Read More »
I’ve been developing a submissive code of ethics for myself to help give me long term goals and a focus. I feel it will bring about change in me that perhaps I can’t see yet. I thought I would share it here so that you can perhaps get some ideas for developing your own code
My Submissive Code of Ethics Read More »
Protocol. It can be a scary word if you are new to submission. In a relationship, it is likely that you will have some protocol established to control your behavior. So, what is protocol? Simply defined, a protocol is the set of special rules that you follow for defined situations that remind you of your
How to Revive Your Service When Protocol Becomes Boring Read More »
