When I first learned about BDSM, and then that I enjoyed pain play as a masochist, there was a moment when a Top that I had asked to play with asked me a very specific question, at least I thought it was specific at the time. “Stingy or thuddy?” Did I prefer, sting or thud […]
Be More Specific About Pain – When a Tool is More Than Sting or Thud Read More »
Despite being commonplace in kinky relationships, explaining the appeal of being spanked to someone who is new to the scene or curious about it can be difficult. There is often the immediate assumption that being spanked is enjoyable because the sub is masochistic, and while not entirely untrue, I can’t in good conscience say that
Explain It To Me: The Draw of Being Spanked Read More »
About a month ago I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it’s live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it’s important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps
Positive Pain Processing Interview is Out Now on KinkyCast! Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McLean. Why do people kneel and let other people order them about and hit them with things? It’s perhaps the most common thing I get asked when people find out my sexual interests. Why, why, why? There are volumes of things written about this but, being as I’m a
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 1 – Adrenaline Read More »
When we learn about pain processing in relation to play and scenes with our sadist partner it’s always a good idea to understand negative processing methods. The things that make handling pain and enjoying longer sessions harder and sometimes impossible. Hopefully, you’ve learned about your own negative methods in the previous video. Today we’ll talk
Learning About Positive Pain Processing Methods Read More »
If you ask any sadist what they enjoy out of pain play, it’s likely going to be watching the bottom respond to the pain. The more response, the higher the enjoyment for the top. Why is this important? Well, if the method of pain management doesn’t allow you to respond well to the pain, then
Learning About Negative Pain Processing Methods Read More »
Everyone you meet has different methods for how they handle pain. Think about the last time your stubbed your toe. How did you respond to the pain? Did you jump up and down? Curse? Cry? Hold your breath? Walk it off? How you handle pain is a result of nature and nurture. Perhaps as you
Understanding Natural Pain Processing Techniques for Better BDSM Play Read More »
This essay was first written and published in the Society of Janus newsletter “Growing Pains.” I hope you enjoy! Pushing boundaries in pain tolerance is a common request for submissives of all flavors. As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I
Learning Better Pain Processing Through Visualization Read More »
In this last post in the pain management series, we’ll talk about the false edge, limits and the true edge. I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it for you. Over the course of the previous posts, we’ve hopefully learned how the body processes pain, the benefits of pain processing
Processing Pain in Play: Overcoming the False Edge Read More »
We are nearing the end of this series on pain processing in play. What do you think can interrupt your pain processing ability? If you’ve experienced anything like I have, there are moments where you just can’t change the pain response to anything beyond pain. What normally feels really good is just not. There are
Processing Pain in Play: What Can Interrupt or Block Pain Processing? Read More »
This is a guest post from Calliope. I’ve always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. My typical response to anything that hurts has always been of the “hide in my room and cry until it goes away” variety. Of course, “looking pitiful until someone takes mercy on me” has also
Exploring Endorphins from Pain Play for the First Time – A Point of View Read More »
