newbie tips

BDSM and the Media: The Influence of Media on the Perception of BDSM

With the trailer of the “50 Shades of Grey” movie being released, my Facebook newsfeed and what I have seen on Fetlife in multiple groups, that’s all anyone seems to be able to talk about. I have managed to not see the trailer because I have no interest, but some of the discussions that have come up,

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It’s Okay to be New – Exploring and Learning as a Novice Submissive

This entry is part 17 of 30 in the series Novice Submissives Start Here

Oftentimes, the first lines of an email to me or an opening thread in a discussion group go something like this; “I’m new and am nervous to ask these silly questions so be nice to me.” “I’m really embarrassed to ask since I’m so new, but…” “I’m new to the lifestyle and overwhelmed with all

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Be Prepared: Put Your Health and Safety First For Successful BDSM Scenes

This is a guest article by greeneyedDeviant. As an experienced bottom, I’m often asked about scene safety. But, let’s face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. Here are a few suggestions I’ve found useful for safely preparing to play in a scene. Your Health Things like

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Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive

This entry is part 5 of 30 in the series Novice Submissives Start Here

As a novice submissive it can be an exciting endeavor to enter into a relationship right away before you know anything about BDSM or D/s, or even being introduced to the dynamic from someone you met online or face to face. People do it every day. It is also one filled with questions and uncertainty

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The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM

This entry is part 6 of 19 in the series New to BDSM? Start Here

Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is

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The Importance of Taking Your Time Exploring Submission Before Starting a Relationship

One thing I have learned from my experience as a submissive and my encounters with submissives and slaves all over the place has been the importance of taking things slowly. At one time or another, we all tend to rashly jump into a D/s relationship without really knowing the Dominant that we are surrendering to.

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