Short answer: no. And the kinky person shouldn’t expect you to. In any healthy relationship, whether kinky or not, communication, respect, and mutual understanding are key. If one partner has specific needs or desires, the other person needs to be open to listening and discussing them, even if they don’t share those interests. However, this […]
Full Question: Do you have any advice for someone already in a committed relationship (marriage, for example) who discovers that she is submissive or at least has submissive tendencies? Until this discovery, the sex was mostly vanilla with very light choking play occasionally (so my partner MIGHT have some interest). Answer: I have lived this
Advice for Newly Discovered Submission in a Committed Relationship Read More »
Full Question: Hello, I’m just confused that my girlfriend is not so into BDSM things. How can I help her get interested? Answer: This is a common situation that does not have an easy answer. It is important because it is not sufficient for many of us to bury our desires and needs for BDSM.
How can I help my girlfriend get interested in BDSM? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. This question is asked with increasing frequency especially among those who are married and desire to remain with their spouse. Discovery of this lifestyle does not doom your current marriage, relationship, engagement etc.
Enhancing the Dominant or Submissive Traits in Your Vanilla Partner Read More »
This is a guest post by Boundobedience. I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successfully manages to convert their
So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner – What You Need to Know Read More »
I’ve written on the site about how you can work with the partner you have to bring out their Dominance or feel submissive in a subtle way and because of that, I have received a lot of messages of frustrated people trying to make their partner dominate them. The scenario seems to be the same, their partner
You Can Not Make Someone Be a Dominant Read More »
In part 1 of this series of articles, we examined the initial approach for discussing your submissive desires with your vanilla partner. In part 2 we examined how to address the issue if your partner does not respond positively to the initial approach. In this final part 3, we examine how to proceed if your vanilla partner reacts positively
“What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is part 2 and deals with a situation in which your vanilla partner is not receptive to what has been discussed in part 1. As mentioned in part 1, if after the first conversation in which you have expressed a mild version of your BDSM desires
“What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is a common situation and one which does not have an easy answer. It is important because, for many of us, it is not sufficient to simply bury our desires and needs for BDSM submission. This article will discuss how to approach your partner the
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Read More »
When you discover that you might be kinky there are a lot of questions surrounding how to accept that. One of those may be trying to explore that kink with your existing partner. But how do you bring up the subject and how do you handle what they may say about the ideas you are
Simple Steps to Introduce Kink into an Existing Relationship Read More »
