This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. If a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive at some later point in their lives? […]
Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse Read More »
Have you ever felt like if you made a suggestion or requested a change in the relationship to your Dominant was horribly inappropriate, that it was overstepping your boundaries as a submissive? What about asking for something you’d like to do, like have sex or play, or even just go out to dinner? Do you
Learn to Speak Up and Speak Out: Empowering Yourself to Have a Voice Read More »
By Sensuous Sadie If I had a nickel for every submissive who hit on me, I could open my own dungeon. The real bummer about the whole thing is that I’m submissive myself. Oh sure, I top now and then, but when it comes down to it, my BDSM orientation is submissive. So, you ask,
Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives Read More »
At the beginning of the series, I addressed the idea that the final layer of the way we perceive ourselves is a product of how others perceive us. Although the focus of the series technically is building routines around grooming and health to maintain your own self-image, it would be unfair to ignore what I
Self-Esteem/Grooming Series Concludes: Accepting Comments and Compliments Read More »
I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. With yet another
Learn to Love The Body You Have – Submissive Meditation Monday Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously far more to unpack
Master/slave Relationships in Black and White Read More »
During this past MsC (the Master/slave Conference) in September, there was a discussion about being an unowned slave at an event and the downside of such. And before then, I had participated in a discussion on FetLife – more of an open dialogue between the owned and the unowned about the tension between the two
Single in the Scene VII: The Unaccompanied slave Read More »
This is a guest post by Slave Kelly. Paralysis of analysis became a well-known phrase when used by Martin Luther King, Jr., during the Civil Rights Movement. However, this human phenomenon has been documented for centuries. Paralysis of analysis occurs when one over-thinks an issue, or situation, to the point where the ability to act
Paralysis of Analysis: Over-thinking Your Submission Read More »
“How can I be the submissive he wants me to be?” “Can you give me advice on how to be the best submissive I can be?” “How do I know I’m going to be a good slave?” I get these questions all the time and they are a valid and reasonable concern. All of us
Brimming with Confidence – Learning to Love Your Submissive Potential Read More »
Your personal responsibility is one of the most important tools in a single submissive’s arsenal. It keeps you safe and protected from the most common predators, it will help you learn and grow while waiting and often has a positive result if maintained once you are no longer single. Personal responsibility is all about empowering
Single Submissives Need Personal Responsibility Read More »
A presenter I saw recently said that as a master, the first thing he does is to ask for his new s-type to fill out one of those online “sexual interest” lists where you rank your kink interests on a scale from zero for “Yes, please,” to five for “Oh, HELL no.” Then he takes
Never Say Never: Overcoming Hard Limits Read More »
Did you know that how you see the world isn’t what makes your life positive or negative, it’s how you interpret your life’s events that can turn the glass half full to half empty? Your skill in interpreting events and experiences for better or worse lies in your hands. Oftentimes as submissives we tell ourselves
Solo Coaching – Glass Half Empty or Half Full: Working on a Positive Point of View Read More »
The Ready-Made Submissive. This is a phenomenon that I am seeing pop up around the BDSM community. Why is this becoming prevalent? What exactly is a ready-made submissive? How can we, as a submissive, not fall into the pitfall of this? This is what I am going to talk about, and, hopefully, help you to
The Ready-Made Submissive Read More »
Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have
Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse Read More »
Recently there has been a lot of talk about Feminism and its role in society where it’s related (or not related) to submission in a D/s context. I read kaya’s post from Under His Hand, that while being a rant, was a well thought out discussion on how narrow-minded a lot of feminists are who
Is Submission in Opposition to Feminism? Read More »
I was asked in an email for some help from a girl that was confused about the information she was given by submissives bent on giving her ‘good’ advice. She’s been happy in a relationship with her Dominant and while they live a D/s life she’s always seeking more advice on the right way to
You Aren’t Doing It Right – Dealing With Criticism From Others Read More »
