Full Question: What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Answer: Since this question can go in many directions, I’m interpreting this question to be looking for ways to confirm continued consent during sex or play. Consent is sexy. Wanting to ensure your partner is still okay with what is […]
What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Discipline – To teach or train, to make a convert of, more directly to make a disciple of. It is an action made in the interest of order, rule, or control. A disciple is
Discipline or Punishment – Which is it? Read More »
Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. Even this site has numerous articles covering the basics of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into
What You Don’t Know About Using Safewords Could Harm You – Get The Facts Read More »
During Cyber Monday sales, I decided to treat myself to a couple of new books. I bought The Trainer and The Academy, both by Laura Antoniou, books three and four in The Marketplace series. I have been a huge fan of this series for several years now and just recently reintroduced myself to it. I own the first two
That Don’t Impress Me Much: Why You Should Not Withhold Your Safeword Read More »
The other day in a submissive’s group I’m in on Facebook, a member made a post about something her dominant wanted her to do, yet she was absolutely 100% against doing and was looking for help on how to get past her unwillingness. There were several comments and there was one in particular that caught
Submission Isn’t Easy-Nor for Your Convenience Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide I hit the jackpot with my first (and quite likely only) Dom. He is kind and considerate and well, treats me like a queen. He makes being submissive to him so wonderful. But, in the rare times, we don’t see eye to eye and he tells me what he wants, he will
Feeling Like a Parrot: Saying What He Wants to Hear Instead of a Sincere Response Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, Is it normal for your Master to want to play and have sex with others? Sincerely, Curious Dear Curious, I could give you the glib answer and say, “There’s no such thing as normal” but that doesn’t help you much, does it? Do some people, Dominant or submissive, want to have open
My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Consent: Compliance with or in approval of what is done or proposed by another. We talk about consent a lot. There is a very good reason for that. The line between D/s and
Some Issues with Consensuality Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself. To
Okay, so here I go again stepping into what may be a heated topic for many people, but I’m going to say it anyway. Kink and alcohol (or drug use) don’t mix. Now, let me clarify what I mean. If you drink or smoke pot or do something else, more power to you. Me? I
Alcohol and Kink Don’t Mix – Being Under the Influence Negates Consent Read More »
I have a dear friend in my local lifestyle. She’s the owner of a private BDSM dungeon. She’s a master (she doesn’t like the term ‘mistress’) with a devoted slave. She trains and mentors submissives. She bottoms with people she trusts. She’s also a professional FemDom with clients who meet with her on a weekly
You Can’t Be Little All the Time: Learning Appropriate Public Behavior as a Little Read More »
The Birth of Safe, Sane and Consensual Historically, David Stein is the person who first coined the phrase in 1983 for the Gay Male SM Activists Group that he co-founded. It was then used as the slogan in the SM Rights contingent of the Gay Rights march to the capital in 1987. That’s right, the
Consent is Key: SSC and RACK Read More »
I’ve been with my Master for almost a year now 24/7. At first, it was very gentle stuff; spanking, a slap here and there, rough sex, light bondage (Do to I am emotionally/physically weak). But over the last month or so it’s been escalating. He’s “Punishing” me now for even the smallest out of step
My Dominant Breaks Down When Punishing Me Read More »
A few months ago, a heated topic was being discussed in a lifestyle group that I’m a member of on Facebook. The reason the topic became so heated was that, well, of me. I wasn’t really surprised by this because well, I do have a tendency to create controversy. It was so bad this time,
The Controversy of Safe Words during Punishment Read More »
This is a guest post by Miss Jessica. Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives, slaves, and all others who fit into categories that fall under the umbrella term ‘bottom’. The degree
More Red Flags for Everyone – Personal Safety and Warnings Read More »
The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without its own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the
Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play Read More »
When a novice submissive first learn about BDSM or D/s power exchange it can be a scary place. The first thing I like to help these novices learn is about safety mantras, particularly the widely accepted Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC. What is SSC? It’s a credo that people in the BDSM community use
Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC) Read More »
We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits, and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you, too, have limits you will not cross, whether in your relationship or for sex and play. Some limits are temporary, while others are permanent. Others exist
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits Read More »
Is it possible to have a need for submission? I’m in an amazing “vanilla” relationship, with a past of D/S for both of us. We both know of the other’s past, and recently began to incorporate some D/S components to our relationship. The issue is I feel like I have a need to submit. It’s not just
Is Submission a Need? Read More »
Consent and Negotiation are probably something that we think about but don’t really acknowledge daily. It is important none the less to think about and address in a Dominant/submissive relationship. Why? There are many reasons but the most important one is being safe not only with your partner but more importantly with yourself. Consent is
The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation Read More »
