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Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words?

Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what […]

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Remember Who You Are – Staying True to Yourself in a D/s Relationship

When an individual enters a relationship, it’s quite easy to lose yourself. You start using ‘we’ instead. “We” liked the movie, “We didn’t like the restaurant” and of course, there’s all those love songs about two becoming one (I am so sorry if the Spice Girls song 2 Becomes 1 is now stuck in your

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How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

Online submission was and still is a very popular choice for many people, especially the novice submissive and the curious outsider. But it also attracts the not so honest people, the predators and those looking for the weak and vulnerable for their own selfish needs. And that’s why, if you wish to be an online

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You’re Not the Boss of Me! Empowerment Through Submission

I recently had a conversation with my boss that went something like this: Boss: “We’d like you to start doing some of your colleague’s work because you’re caught up and she’s behind.” Me: “I would be happy to help, but I see that none of these things are in my job description.” Boss: “They aren’t,

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Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more mainstream thanks

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What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits, and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you, too, have limits you will not cross, whether in your relationship or for sex and play. Some limits are temporary, while others are permanent. Others exist

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Points to Negotiate in Your D/s Contact That May Not Have Ever Occurred to You

We all put a huge amount of thought into our contacts -or we should.  But there are often times that things arise and we have no way of predicting them.  I recently shared another post about “Outside Forces.”  In that post, I talked about steps that may be taken when an outside force storms it

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Showing Face: How Time Has Changed ThisGirl’s Perceptions of Sharing Photos Online

How many of you post pictures on the Internet of your BDSM experiences? Or maybe on FetLife or your blog? Sharing photos has been something I have done from the very beginning. For a long time, though, I was uncomfortable showing my face in any fetish pictures since I was partly worried about the risk of being outed and

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