What are you expected to do and know as a submissive? For many who are just starting out, the answer really is: not much. And yet, that’s never a satisfying answer, is it? We all want clarity, especially when stepping into something as vulnerable and meaningful as submission. Of course, there’s more to it. But […]
Expectations of a Submissive: What You Need to Know (and What You Don’t) Read More »
Full Question: How do you move on from a dynamic that was ended in an unclear way or with unresolved issues? We are still in the same community, and I don’t want things to be this awkward, but they are very uncomfortable right now. Answer: Navigating a breakup can be challenging, especially when unresolved issues
How do you move on from a failed relationship while in the same BDSM community? Read More »
Full Question: I’ve heard many articles or podcasts discuss munches, but I have a hard time finding any near me or articles/discussions on where to find your people or meetups. I’m coming up short! Any advice on how to find a community of like-minded people to connect with? Answer: There used to be many places
Where do you find the local BDSM community? Read More »
Full Question: I’m trying to find my first munch meeting in NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Getting out and meeting kinky people face-to-face can be so intimidating. I understand the desire to make sure that you are walking into the safest environment possible. First,
How do you know if a munch is safe? Read More »
Full Question: Trying to find my first munch meeting in the NY area. How can I know if it’s safe, and where can I find one? Answer: Finding a munch is a recommended first step for anyone interested in meeting people face-to-face and getting to know the larger community. Due to the Pandemic, finding munches
How do I find a safe munch near me? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Terms: Propositions, limitations or provisions stated or offered for the acceptance of another and determining the nature, scope, and conditions of the agreement. The ONE TRUE WAY: All submissives are created as equal
Submissive on Your Own Terms: Analyzing The One True Way Read More »
When I first came to the community, I, as well as others like me, was a bit of a unicorn. During that time, it wasn’t the norm to see younger people in the community – younger as in under 36 or so. Most of the people I knew were 40+, and there I was in
Aging in the Lifestyle: Doing it with Grace Read More »
Is there any service out there that you can talk to a live person and go through some things that are fairly new to me in real time like right now… not necessarily the paid chat but just someone to ask questions and see if what I’m doing is normal…well somewhat normal. Hi there! I
Where Can I Go to Talk to Someone about Submission? Read More »
I’ve been a practicing submissive for roughly five years now; most of that time has been in a long distance capacity, but regardless, my role as a sub has played an integral part in shaping my role in my relationship with the person who is not only my Dominant, but (I hope) my life mate.
Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style Read More »
Starting a new BDSM group can feel daunting, but it’s a rewarding way to build community. From choosing a focus to finding venues and spreading the word, this guide walks you through the essentials of organizing your own munch or kink group safely, ethically, and with confidence.
How to Start A New Local BDSM Group Read More »
Wondering how to find your local BDSM community? This post walks you through using online tools—like FetLife, social media, and event directories—to connect with local kinksters. Learn where to look, how to reach out, and how to start building meaningful real-world connections in your kinky community.
Entering the Community: Finding Other Local Kinksters Using Online Resources Read More »
I logged onto Fetlife one early Friday morning with a steamy cup of joe and saw this message straight away: I was there last night but didn’t get out of my truck. I was still in my work clothes and didn’t really know how to find you guys. Maybe I’ll try again next month. As
Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community Read More »
I have this habit whenever I read something that has hyperlinks in the article, I tend to open those hyperlinks. This causes me to usually have anywhere from 10-20 tabs open in my browser. But anyways, I was reading something and it led me to a website. At the same time, I was reading the
BDSM Isn’t Just About Power Exchange Read More »
This past winter I ran an educational event through the campus Women’s Center on BDSM in response to Fifty Shades of Grey. With the movie coming out I knew that people would be interested in the topic and consider trying it themselves and I wanted them to be safe about it. I covered the basics
Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought Read More »
I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before. It angers me to read that in light of the theatrical release of Fifty Shades of Grey, women activists believe that the kink community exploits women. That couldn’t
Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community Read More »
The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it. After hearing so much about love, the newcomer may end up a bit confused. After all, in the vanilla world, especially in Western culture, love is a really big deal.
Finding Love in the D/s Lifestyle Read More »
For whatever reason, it seems that many members of the BDSM community are in long-distance or temporarily long-distance relationships with our dominants. In some of the online forums I am a part of I regularly see submissives and babygirls freaking out in the days before their dominant arrives for a visit – as I am
How I Prepare for My Dominant’s Visit Read More »
I will never forget the feeling of “coming home” when I opened the door to BDSM. My whole being was able to relax knowing I was submissive and that I was not the only one. I was also excited beyond belief and felt like I had so much to learn about this new side of
Getting Started At the Kinky Buffet Read More »
The Birth of Safe, Sane and Consensual Historically, David Stein is the person who first coined the phrase in 1983 for the Gay Male SM Activists Group that he co-founded. It was then used as the slogan in the SM Rights contingent of the Gay Rights march to the capital in 1987. That’s right, the
Consent is Key: SSC and RACK Read More »
Since discovering my submissive side back in 2012, I’ve been in a perpetual holding pattern when it comes to meeting people in my local kinky community. I want to get involved, but I’m also afraid of taking that first step. I’ve done tons of research using the incredibly helpful articles on Submissive Guide, which has helped to
An Accidental Outing: Encountering Other Kinky People in Your Vanilla Life Read More »
