Starting your BDSM journey can feel overwhelming when you don’t know which information to trust. This article introduces reliable resources for beginners, including books, websites, communities, and educational opportunities, helping new kinksters build knowledge safely while avoiding common misconceptions and unreliable advice.
I’m New to BDSM, Where Do I Find Information? Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I was in an intense, committed relationship for four years. This relationship had bdsm elements and I am realizing while reading articles on your SubGuide site that it was indeed a bdsm relationship. In addition to our romantic relationship, we also worked together however we lived separately. During our relationship, there were power struggles resulting in
Should I Contact My Deceased Partner’s Secret Submissive? Read More »
I have a very important question that I need your opinion on. I have been to your web page many times and appreciate your writing and knowledge. I recently found out that my husband of many years had been having a BDSM relationship outside of our marriage, secretly. We had been talking about BDSM ourselves
He Wants to Add His Once Secret Submissive to Our Relationship? Read More »
Hello Luna I hear people talking constantly and in a profile about being “in a Leather family” or Leather community. My question is simple but I know the answer is not. What does “in a leather family” mean? What is Leather? I know where it started, but what does it mean in today’s BDSM society?
What is a Leather Family? Read More »
Hello lunaKM, I have a Dom friend that has been helping explore and figure out this wonderful world of BDSM. I have been seeing him for a few months and we are moving into more of a relationship and not just scenes. My question is how do I ask him for the discipline/attention when I
How To Ask for a Dominant’s Attention Read More »
Dear lunaKM, As a slave in training, I start doubting my worth when I don’t get a response within an hour. –impatient We hear this one a lot. The silence between messages can feel so heavy, especially when your heart is deeply invested. But here’s the truth: your value isn’t defined by someone else’s response
What Do I Do While I Wait for a Response from My Long Distance Dominant? Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I am new to being in a D/s relationship, and I am having difficulty with learning how to speak to Him more properly. I have no problem when emailing, or messaging, but that is because I have time to think about what I am saying to Him. He is wonderful at correcting me,
How Can I Learn to Speak More Respectfully? Read More »
Hi. I am in a master and slave relationship and I am the slave in our relationship. I have moments when I am so clumsy and I really hate it. Sometimes I do things like spill drinks on the floor or on myself. Today I spilled some soda on myself and I also spilled some
I’m So Clumsy! Is There Anything I Can Do? Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I have been in my first D/s relationship (online) for about a month. What is your view concerning the care, direction, and contact of Dominants w/their subs? I know we are all different, but I have nothing to compare. Contact is spotty and I feel a bit lost. Some days I get a
What Is The Expectation of Communication in an Online D/s Relationship? Read More »
Dear LunaKM, I am fairly new to the D/s lifestyle. A little over a month ago, I met a man and started developing a relationship with him. We had many conversations that were about everyday topics and found we had things in common as well as sexual and D/s conversations. He became my Daddy and
I’m Confused. He Wants to “Just Be Friends” While Ex is Visiting Read More »
Hi. My slave and I are going to a dungeon together for the first time. I’m wondering about how she should talk. She has rules for talking with me. But not for talking with others in the community. I know she should be respectful to all. But how should she address other Masters and slaves?
How Should a Submissive Act at a Dungeon Party? Read More »
My boyfriend and I have only recently taken the baby steps from a vanilla relationship to a D/s one. I feel like I’ve followed all the suggested steps about how to transition a relationship, I follow submissive guide religiously, I’ve read lots of books and done plenty of research. We’ve talked and set down guidelines.
Why Isn’t Our Relationship Going Anywhere? Read More »
Hi Luna. I’m a sub and I have an online Dom. We have a lot of fun together but he wants far more time and play from me than I can afford to give. I told him this but he still wants more. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to leave
Dominant Is Asking for More Time than I Can Give Read More »
Hello there! There is no “proper manner” for asking for a collar. It’s not a common expectation in the BDSM community. Some Dominants require that the submissive ask to be collared, others insist that it’s their responsibility to ask if the submissive wants to be collared by them. If you are familiar with John Norman’s
How do I ask to be collared? Read More »
Question: I’ve been talking with a DOM who is considering me for sub training and wants me to go to him. What should I expect at the first face-to-face meeting? Meeting a Dominant for the first time can stir up a lot of emotions—excitement, nerves, curiosity, even a little fear. You might imagine it will
What should I expect the first meeting? Read More »
Yes, I had been in this lifestyle with the same Master going on six years now. I had just find out where he works, phone number etc. But I have not met anyone in his family or his friends. I am kept a secret and he is separated from his wife. He said to me
I’m a Secret From My Dominant’s Wife(Separated) and I Don’t Like It Read More »
I told my Dom I needed more to do, as far rules, responsibilities etc.. what are some good things for me to do?? We both work full-time but I need routine..any suggestions? He’s asking me to give Him examples and I have nothing.. thank you!! –Lovenvrdies Dear Lovenvrdies, Are you sure you need him to
I Need More Rules, But I Don’t Know What to Suggest Read More »
Question: My bf is vanilla, but he’s interested in the lifestyle. I have the experience to teach him, but I’m a sub. How do I educate him without affecting the power balance or offending him? First off—congratulations! Not only do you have a partner who is curious and willing to learn, but you also have
How can I teach my boyfriend about kink without affecting the dynamic? Read More »
Dear LunaKM I am a novice sub who found her first Master about a 5 weeks ago. We live about 200 miles apart and have mainly instant messaged, telephoned and skyped. About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time and it was wonderful. He asked for my submission about a week into the
Is He Ignoring Me or Has He Moved On? Read More »
Dear Annie, Well my question is quite simple. I’m a submissive crossdresser from the UK, and have been dressing for many years now. One of the main reasons I dress is because I have a very strong submissive side, and many of the fetishes to go along with that. My question is simple, I have
How To Approach Female Dominants on FetLife Read More »
