Lessons in Submissive Speech 10: Speaking with Service Persons

Think about the last time you went out to eat or stood in line at a check out counter. Do you remember looking at the service person who waited on you? Did you smile at them and greet them or did you stay on your cell phone and not even acknowledge them as they served you?

We’ve grown rude and detestable with how we treat the service personnel that we encounter on a daily basis. With shame, I admit that I too used to treat them as less than me, and not worth even the most common courtesy as a smile in greeting. Even when I was working a service person I didn’t improve my treatment of those I was being served by.

But not long after I met KnyghtMare he corrected that. First, he insisted that I be the go-between for service persons and himself. This required that I engage them more than I had done in the past. Doing this I learned valuable lessons about how my treatment of others impacted my service to him.

You may be wondering why this subject is in a series on speaking submissively, but a huge part of speaking submissively is courtesy and respect. We can learn a lot about how we treat our intimate relationships but seeing how we treat the people we interact with on a daily basis.

How to Show Respect to Service Persons

• Stay off of the phone. Don’t text or talk while being served by someone. Tell the person on the other end that you will call them back. Make the face to face exchange the most important.
• Look the person in the eye. Smile and talk to them, not at them. Make note of what they look like so that you can find them later if you need to. (How many times have you asked others in your party what your server looks like? No more!)
• If they introduce themselves with their name, use it. “Hello, I’m Jane and I’ll be your server tonight.” “Hello Jane, what are your drink specials?” “Jane, could I get some more coffee please?” “Thank you, Jane.” It makes the exchange more personal and you will be remembered by them as being courteous. This tip also works if they wear a name tag, but can be more jarring to the service person because they forget they are wearing their name on their chest. A thank you is decent enough and rarely causes a huge shock but more of a welcoming smile.
• Be polite. Use those manners you know you have. It makes every situation go by smoother and easier.
• Don’t yell. Even if you are angry you aren’t angry at the person, but the situation. Getting what you want to be resolved will be a lot easier if you remember that the person trying to help you didn’t cause the situation.

What other ways do you know about to show respect and courtesy to service persons?